Club Bronz

Ugh, Club Bronz...

I want to support this place.  There are so few queer/queer friendly bars left in Cincinnati, and it's important for the city and the LGBT community that places like this are around.  When it was good, it was a fun little place tucked into Northside.  And now?  It's just bad.

This club is is desperate need of an update.  The dance floor that has lights, the mirrored wall?  Dated.  The bathrooms are in terrible need of a renovation-toilet issues, doors not locking, etc.  There's a smoke machine.  A SMOKE MACHINE.  It randomly goes off whether or not people are dancing.  The patio, which allows smoking, is nice.  However, the cover used in the winter to keep it warm makes it hot and smoky back there.

The beer selection is pretty dismal.  Last time I went, I asked if they had Christian Moerlein.  The bartender didn't know what that was.  I don't understand how you can be a bar in Cincinnati and not at least know what the local beers are?

This used to be the go-to for a fun night of dancing and drinking in Cincinnati, a place that was great and accepting.  It feels as though the owners aren't willing to put the money into maintaining the space, however, and it really needs some work.  The interior is dated, the bar selections lacking, and isn't where I'd choose to spend a Saturday night.

When I first walked into Club Bronz, I was excited because I wanted to be in a safe, friendly space, as the neon rainbow Budweiser sign in the window indicated. But then I was slightly freaked out by the black walls, dark corners, disco lights, blasting Gloria Gaynor, underage kids being immediately thrown out and... two people at the bar at eight pm. I had already walked in so I sat down anyway, as not to be rude. I ordered a PBR and proceeded to read the local free paper. When the free paper turned out to be pretty lame, I sat there and the bartender struck up a conversation with me.

This guy was really nice. I was slightly surprised, I guess I figured a seedy-seeming bar would have seedy-seeming-people. I think mostly the bar seemed seedy because it was still light out, and no one was in it, and yet the strobe lights and music were in full effect. I made small talk with the bartender, Scottie, who was impressed that I'd just driven down from Columbus for really no reason. Once he realised I wasn't exactly straight, we got along famously. Then, the two regulars introduced themselves - shout out to June and Peaches, because they were incredibly kind.

The thing that sucked about this experience is that after I'd already handed my credit card over, I heard the bartender tell someone else that there was a $15 minimum on charges - Christ alive! But since I was feeling rather brooding and not willing to cause a fuss, and since everyone was so nice, I told Scottie after my two beers that cost $4 that I didn't mind being charged the minimum - I pretty much just wanted to go home at that point. He didn't think it was fair to make me pay it, and tried to give me all kinds of water and snacks. I accepted two bottles of water and was on my way back to Cbus.

Interesting. Really kind people. I'd love to see the bar in full swing. Apparently nothing gets started til about 11pm.

So Bronz (aka Jacob's) may be having it's second wind coming. Despite my leaving Cincinnati I feel a second coming of what was once the greatest dance establishment for an eclectic mix of drunks. Maybe I'm writing this review in hopes that one day I will come back and the glory day's will be restored and all will dance hand in hand to 80's tracks d.j.ed by Gerald and Brian on a balmy Friday night. Even if this doesn't happen you should still go take a twirl on the light box and down a couple dozen vodka tonics. You're bound to meet someone new, the type of person you never thought existed. Go late and go drunk, you won't regret it... until tomorrow.