El Pilon

I'm going to have to pile on the one stars this place already has. You know you see hotel websites where the pictures look awesome and the place seems to be this side of paradise, but then you get there and the tile is coming off in the bathroom, the towels are threadbare and the pool is a fraction of the size of the photo? Yeah, well, that's this place. The website has the effrontery to call itself "elegant." Maybe if your definition of elegant is dingy and run down. I could overlook all of that if the food was good, but again, those photos on the website don't match what's being slung out of the kitchen. It's highly disappointing because what you see on the website is not what you're getting when you travel out to this barren stretch of Armitage. They've got a Groupon going, but I'm telling you, save your money.

I really had high hopes for the place!  However I am sad to report that it was such a disappointment.  :(  the only person in the place at the time was the cook.  There was no hello when we came and sat ourselves.  No water offered, one utensil, Luke warm coffee, no extra napkins.  I would have over looked that (maybe) if the food was spectacular.  Lady took way too long to come to the table . Food took way too long to come out, did I mention we were the only table there.
The one half decent thing about our sandwiches was the nicely toasted bread, but the ONE slice of ham and "government cheese"  of our "ham & cheese sandwich" inspired my first yelp review ever.  In hopes the owners see it and correct this because this place will go down like all the other restaurants before them at this very location.  There has to be one good thing right. . ,yes.  The beans were awesome.

Hello El Pilon;

Mind if I call you El?

O.K. look El, this is your mission if you choose to accept.

Get off the "death watch" by staying open for six months.

Yea that alderman over there talks about building a "Latin Restaurant Business Corridor"  on that mostly desolate stretch of Armitage, but  like Slim Charles said to the boy Bodie (on HBO's The Wire),  "You on your own out here" Which means you're being watched ( The death Watch) to see how soon you fold. The last Cuban Restaurant lasted four months, my friend. Which is why your alderman needs to wake up taking about trying to get ANY consumer friendly business out there, not just a Latin Businesses.

So what this means to you grasshopper, is you gotta up yo game, son. Which means not becoming an appendage of your neighbor The Las Vegas Night Club. On the positive side you have Ames Middle School, ( teachers be always  hungry),  Weegee's Lounge, (which is how I discovered you) when you getting yo royal drank on nothing goes better than a jibarito. And theres that new Wall Mart Jack in The Box medical Center too. But folks need to feel SAFE going up in there. You're open until 4:00pm and that's music to my ears, but I aint trying to be beefing with mofos cause I want a late night jibarito. Translation, if you got people hanging out looking all slim shady on some menace tip, we will be crossing you off the chalk board as just another adventurer playing at running a business, but not  smart enough to figure out how the neighborhood is changing and how to get in where you fit in, Feel me?

And yea the sandwich was tight yo, but if you wanna go around the board a couple of times, you gotta know the game cause the game already knows you. And that's on every thing.  Ya heard?

p.s. I got much love for the Dominican Republic, I had an amazing time when I was there.