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  • 0

    The Model Cafe is a place you go to if you are already shit-hammered beyond belief. Preferably around 12:30 or 1am. It is by no means the best bar in Boston and if you think that way you probably haven't been to many bars. Saying The Model Cafe is best bar in Boston is like saying Limp Bizkit saved heavy metal.

    Here's the real deal:

    Eclectic mix of crowds comes here. You wont find frat-boys and dude-bros or any uptight 'pretty broads' who spend entirely too much time making sure they look good. This is good on a comfort level as the crowd is not all too pretentious but you're still dealing with hipsters and art-school dropout snobs.

    With that said, the crowd is band-guys who are in their mid 30s and still haven't made it, punk-chicks (many of them are stupidly skinny and have boy-ish bodies with no feminine curves.) and lots of shady characters.

    The bathrooms at this place are quite possibly the worst in the world. The fact that some people have sex in them is stupifying to accept no matter how messed up you are.

    Bring cash as this place operates like its the early 70s and simply remember one thing. If you end up at The Model Cafe at middle of the night it is only because you have completely stopped caring about your life. :-)

    Do not come here sober. That's the main rule along with bringing cash.

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  • 0

    Fun place, cash only, lots of punks, and very interesting conversations if you're the type who enjoys standing outside and smoking.

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  • 0

    The Model Cafe is the best bar in Boston.

    Seriously.  

    There are a thousand and one horrible sports bars with a TV plastered to every single flat surface in the greater Boston area.  If you want those wretched places, don't come to the Model Cafe.  You can go watch TV in some other bar.  If you want a fancy upscale bar where the drinks are $12 a pop and lawyers are chasing trophy wives, don't come to Model Cafe.  If you want an awesome bar where bartenders will chat with you, where the patrons are colorful, and you can't possibly look weird or out of place if you try, the Model Cafe is your bar.  People will strike up conversation like it is the west coast.  You get a crazy mix of people and the music is generally good (assuming that you are sick of the top 40 in all the other other bars).

    If you want a nice franchise bar, the Model Cafe is not your place.  If hate your fellow humans and like to go to bars to watch 20 HD TVs on every single freaking flat surface, the Model Cafe is not for you.  If you want colorful and crazy locals, talkative bartenders, and atmosphere that doesn't scream franchise chain or sports bar, the Model Cafe is the best bar in all of Boston, hands down.

    People who find the Model Cafe scary or weird have nothing but my utmost pity.  They need to go flee back to the 'burbs or their frat house.

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  • 0

    Pretty rad place if you want to see beards, tattoos, suicide girls, punks, & art snobs all in the same place. My kind of mix.

    Bring cash bc you cannot run credit cards.

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  • 0

    Good place if you're already tanked when you walk in.

    Bad place If you're sober.

    Trust me on this one.

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  • 0

    Awesome dive. Don't go here if you're looking for a classy joint that accepts credit cards and will mix you some fancy drink. Do go here if you're willing to laugh at the hipsters, pay cash for cheap beers, play Buck Hunter and dance on a tiny floor to some great music.

    It's loud, often crowded, the bathrooms are gross and people get thrown out nearly every time I go, but it's a pretty great place if you're just looking for a fun time dancing and drinking with your friends.

    Be warned that there will be a line if you go there much past 11pm, and if you get stuck in this line you may not get in because it's a pretty small place.

    Four stars for the gross bathrooms.

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  • 0

    Oh what a wonderful world it is to pay nearly nothing for shit beer and boozey drinks! Here at The Model you'll rub shoulders with both the hipster elite (lame) to aging leather clad biker dudes (way rad...and they sport ZZ top beards too!).

    This is the type of place where you DON'T go for the conversation and pleasant ambiance. This is a place you DO go for cheap gross drinks, sticky floors, James Brown, and the young people! The staff at the model is so awesome, even the bouncers! I've even been thrown out by them, and they could be sweeter about it all. Er...I retract that statement as they threw out someone I was with and they alerted me about the situation.

    The music isn't what you'd find at the trendy joints like the genital grinding "Wonder Bar" or the indie flair of "The Great Scott." The music here is all types of cool. I'm talking about James Brown and Abba...yes Abba! The DJ's are wonderfully good about playing old tunes for people who want to "Get down on it" on the teeny tiny dance floor. Will you jawed in the face by some dude who's dancing like a fiend...yes...will you love it? Yes! Provided you're the type of person that doesn't get put off by dive bars and odd smells.

    A word to the wise to the ladies...there is one ladies room. Here's a tip...screw gender roles. We gotta pee! There's always a line for the bathroom, and so don't be afraid to say..."I'M A DUDE" and just use the Men's room or the gender neutral bathroom.  Remember you gotta Pee and those Bike Hipster ladies are too busy  making out in there to let you pee....So just do what you gotta.

    The dance floor is tiny, and when it get's going fording through the river of sweet, crazy dancing and hopping, and rain of beer down your dress might be tough.

    It's a small place, but I love it because it's terrible, it smells and the bouncers are wonderfully witty. You go to the model to drink and dance. That it....lovely.

    Oh p.s. the bar is cash only! They do have an ATM there....god golly they think of everything. There's a line on Friday nights, so get there early annnnd hey no cover charge!

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  • 0

    I'm trying this new thing: let people be who they are.  Yes, that means if tight jeans, PBRs and bad hair make hipsters happy, then let the good times roll.  

    And if you want to make a hipster happy, take them to the Model.

    I dig the soul music on the weekends (and even the DJ that occasionally plays a triangle in an ironic way) and the merriment and the cheap gin.

    Totally low key, pretty big so good for a group and the people watching is among the best.  Dive on in.

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  • 0

    Hey folks-

    If all you want to do is drink cheap alcohol with a small group of friends in a shitty environment while bad music plays, why don't you just grab a pack of natty light and go back to your own damn place?

    It's completely silly to me that this place exists...

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  • 0

    A survey for your dive bar-seeking convenience.

    MODEL "CAFÉ"  

    Café?      No    
    Lounge?     No    
    Salty locals?     No    
    Ironic facial hair?    Yes    
    Big Buck Hunter?    Yes    
    Darts?      No    
    Pinball?      Yes    
    Pool?      No    
    Cheap beer?    Yes    
    Free popcorn of questionable origin? No    
    Cute hipster girls?    Yes    
    Drunk whoo girls?    Yes    

    SILHOUETTE "LOUNGE"

    Café?      No    
    Lounge?     No    
    Salty locals?     Yes
    Ironic facial hair?    Yes    
    Big Buck Hunter?    Yes    
    Darts?      Yes    
    Pinball?      No
    Pool?      Yes (thanks!)
    Cheap beer?    Yes    
    Free popcorn of questionable origin? Yes
    Cute hipster girls?    Yes    
    Drunk wooh girls?    Generally, no. They're frightened of the smell.

    So not much separating the two, but if you want darts and pool, go to the Silhouette. If you want pinball and a night free from popcorn of questionable origin, go to the Model. But I know which one I prefer.

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  • 0

    A lot of people seem to like it here. Although I'm not exactly sure why.

    The Model Cafe is the go to definition for dive the bar. The doorman is salty and hackneyed, and should they be past capacity will let you in for ten dollars without apology to the rest of the line. Which is basically the policy that they go by at the Model. They don't really care if you have a good time or feel insulted by the quality of your experience, because you are going to come in anyways.

    On the weekends the place is packed. Too packed actually as there is only a narrow walkway between the bar and the wall as you try to meander through the various scene kids, and grown ups who have yet to figure out that hair bands weren't cool in the eighties, and the crowd only likes it because they haven't figured out that realism is the new irony.

    The bar is cash only which is probably to your benefit because it's going to take forever to get your plastic cup full as it is, and you really need to get back to that girl with the swallow tattoo across her chest before neon indian guy beats you too it.

    There are probably a dozen or so better things to do in Allston, but if you are nostalgic for the Brooklyn of 2006 and the joyless love affair you had with the poly amorous girl you met at an MGMT concert, you probably belong here.

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  • 0

    Probably my favorite bar in Allston for hanging out and drinking.  It's gritty and awesome.  I used to go on Saturday nights and sip on cheap $4 gin & tonics with a friend while people watching.  Dave the bartender knew our orders by heart and was always nice to us.

    Now I tend to frequent the Model more when its "Rescue Night" on Sundays, which has gotten really popular but still remains fun for dancing if you're into Morrissey, Smiths, Cure, Bloc Party, that kind of thing.  It also makes my night when the DJ plays 'Bad Romance'.  I usually see everyone jumping up and down and body thrashing to it, much like myself, but in a non-douchey way.  It's impossible to get in the bar if you arrive later than 12:30 AM or if you do, expect to wait angrily in line.  The bouncers here mean business.

    Always get my drunkles on and have fun here.  Love you, Model Cafe!

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  • 0

    Um, I just realized there's a whole 'nother side to this place where some crazy dancing occurs.

    Yesssss......

    Not to mention I came here the other night and my gin and tonic was 90% gin and 10% tonic. Another big Yesssssssssss.....

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  • 0

    Oh, the Model. It sometimes changes, but it always stays the same. Stiff drinks, loud music, rock-n-rollers tryin' to push their band, and close-talkers yelling in your ear about....I don't know I can't hear them. Not really listening either, just tryin to focus on my glass of booze with a splash of coke.

    The Model is always the afterbar. After the Sill closes, or after a show at O'Brien's, Greatt Scott's, or Harper's gets out, chances are you'll see the bar patrons, the band that played, and the bartender at the other bar, all waiting in line at 1:15 tryin to get in. Shoulda left earlier, tsk tsk, you know better.

    It's dark, it's gritty, it's filled with Rockers, but there's a new crowd that discovered this place recently, and it's kind of a clash with the regular clientele. On the weekends you'll see fancy clothes, slick haircuts, and actual dancing to the music, and not just fist pumping, bro hugging, and floor punching. It's ok though, they usually don't last after they see the bleeding that happens between 1:45-2:30am.

    If there's a place to be a non-functional fall down drunk, it's the Model. Drink some water before you go to bed there champion, it's gonna be a rough morning.

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  • 0

    Dear Model,
    Things have clearly changed.  I moved out of Allston two years ago and thought we were done for good.  This was not the case.  I couldn't keep myself from your amazingly stiff $4 beverages and I came back this past weekend.
    What's up with the renovated lounge area?  You're looking good, Model - I have to say, the couch is a big plus.  I also noticed you added some video games and things.  I had a wonderful time having such lovely cheap drinks and playing some Monkey Bash.
    Sad to say that you're still not interested in serving me Long Island Iced Teas, but I understand. Damn BC kids.

    Missed you - see you soon,

    TK

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  • 0

    Best. Night. Ever. $4 Knob Creeks? $4 Jack n'Cokes? Charlie, you're killing me! And I made so many trips to the peanut machine that patrons started offering me their quarters. Every bar should have a nut machine--work on it!

    "HERE COMES JOHNNY YEN AGAIN. WITH LIQUOR AND DRUGS. AND A FLESH MACHINE. HE'S GONNA DO ANOTHER STRIPTEASE. (This is where you need to start screaming with no regard to other bar patrons) HEY MAN WHERE'D YOU GET THAT LOTION?!?!?!?!?!"

    After looking up from my third drink in under twenty minutes, I realized that I was surrounded by really, really handsome guys (in addition to my weirdo friends) and ladies (though the 35-year-old Cougar hitting on my friend was about an 8 on the Creep Factor). But when "Lust For Life" came on, I knew I was going to spend the rest of the night dancing and yelling instead of slobbering on some Local Josh. My male companions were especially impressed that the DJs were ladies; I was just happy at their selection of punk classics and occasional ARETHEYKIDDING track. I mean, they played Korn at one point. And you know what? Everyone was unpretentious enough to sing along. Because that was the jam back in high school and you know it.

    Great Scott who?

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  • 0

    I like to think that I deal with bad days in healthy ways.  When things get lousy, it's good to take a run, listen to music (dancing in your underwear is the only way to do it), or soak in a hot bath.

    Sometimes though, there's no cure for a crappy day but getting shitfaced.  There's an art to it.  Save it for your worst days, pick your poison, and do it neatly (amateurs need not attempt).  And if you need a little help, there is the Model.

    I had one of these days a while ago, and feeling cranky and likely to snarl, I took a walk to the Model.  

    I'm not a regular here.  I can't comment on the scene, really.  I can't really write about the music, or even the patrons, I guess.  

    What I can say is that the bartender pretty much left me to my own devices (which is exactly what I wanted), except the times when he offered me more whiskey (which was just often enough).  Others seemed to know him, and he greeted them pleasantly and by their first names.  

    When I was done and had accomplished my goal and was in just the right place of having-a-full-conversation-with-myself-drunk (and not falling-over-shouting-Wooooo!-drunk, not that I ever say "wooo," 'cuz that's not how I roll), I swam home.  

    During my inebriated chat with myself on the walk home, I actually figured out some fixes for problems that sprung up earlier in the day.

    So as it goes, the Model did it's job.  It did it well, and without hassle.  Four stars for the Model and its remarkable fix for a horrid day.

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  • 0

    The place actually still retains some grit so it's not for the faint of constitution or easily offended.

    The Model Cafe is probably my favorite "Dive Bar" from my time in Allston. I liked getting there early so I could get a booth and watch all the rockers and hipsters trickle in. Then watch them get progressively more hosed and lively. I'd usually see people I knew there and would rarely get to see otherwise, so it was a great alternative to reading someone's frikkin blog for finding up what's going on in someone's life.

    Try the Gin Gimlets.

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  • 0

    Went here in search of alt bi chicks for a female friend of mine.  She's cute too, and nice chest, so she should have no problems picking up a chick.  Funny thing is she asks for some tips from ME about picking up!  Well, I'm awkward as hell (well we're both awkward as hell) but I have had marginal success depending on your defn of success, so I told her what I know.  She was under the impression that almost everyone who was there already knew each other.  A fair number of good looking alt chicks here though, so that gets a star.  

    For our last attempt I say, let's go dance with them, and you need to look them in the eye, see if they look back/are interested.  So we head over and are sort of dancing with each other while trying to make eyes, and that's when I say.  

    "Okay, that's it.  I've had it with this fucking smell.  We're out of here."  She didn't argue.

    These dudes seriously smelled like they hadn't showered all weekend.  Offending my olfactory senses, that loses a star.  I didn't stay too long.  The music didn't rock my world, but it didn't suck either.  Maybe this is just me, I never did like wearing hats, but...wearing a beanie inside = coke head?

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  • 0

    2.5 stars...  but not quite 3.

    I'm not sure about this place. It seems that they don't know what they want to do, there's a swordfish on the wall next to a giant skull.

    I feel they are trying TOO HARD to be hipster and cool. I love metal/death/rock music as much as the next guy. But blaring in a room full of people consistently, not so much. I mean I love rocking out, but not for several hours straight unless I'm at a show.

    The crowd itself seemed to be very poser-ish. Maybe it's because it's so close to all the colleges. Again, it just feels like the whole atmosphere is trying so hard to be edgy, but it's so not.

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  • 0

    I loved this place when I first got here to Boston, but it's changed a lot and I got too lazy to walk that far home after drinking. It used to be a little more rough around the edges, and yes I've had chicks pick fights with me, crazy people talk to me, a man asked me to do porn for him but lololololol this is why I go out.
    I liked it a lot except for the crowds. So between the lack of either Jameson or a pool table, the silly girls with attitude and the long walk home, I lost the energy to frequent it. But I'd go back anytime, I love it. Looking for a dive bar rife with stories to make? Head for the Model.

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  • 0

    Are you looking for a spot to be drunk and ridiculous with a handful of friends on a Sunday night?  If so, Model is exactly what you are looking for.

    It was empty; the bartender was attentive; the ambience was perfection.

    Model is supposedly a big "scene" bar in Allston... I can't report on that, as we had the place to ourselves.  Spaciously awesome... we found a great nightcap to our evening of debauchery.

    Also noteworthy is the fancy furniture.  Cheetah print covered stools at an Antiques Roadshow high table... it doesn't get much better than that.  Well, I suppose anatomically correct robots delivering your beers might be better... or a midget-tossing station -- but hey, we can't win all the time, right?

    I have no idea how it is on the weekends, but if you want to rule the school on a Sunday night, high-tail it to Model.

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  • 0

    This place has changed quite a bit since my heady days of '03-05.No more pool table squished up in a corner, fewer hipster chicks in tight jeans (which is like saying 'fewer chicks in tight jeans in tight jeans, i know) -- and no more painting of Charlie (the old gray haired barkeep) up on the wall.

    Friday, as he hands me one of several $4.50 Sapphire and tonics (this is the only bar on the planet where I can afford to be crunk on Saph) I ask where the painting went.

    Charlie: They took it down when they repainted the place...

    Me: Did you take it home?

    Charlie: ...and they put it down in the basement...

    Me:....

    Charlie: ...where it fuckin belongs.

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  • 0

    The first time I went here I had just received a bunch of gold doubloons from the charlie card ticket machine after putting a $20 bill in and had no other cash on me. while sitting at a table the waitress not only took my gold coins but was excited.

    Cheap booze interesting crowd. have not been back in a while but heard they have couches and a T2 pinball machine & Golden T.

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  • 0

    Fk Cheers - the Model is really the place where everyone knows your name...or will at least pretend they do and offer a friendly wave...or they'll just call you names (whatever, it's cool).

    The place is generally pretty low key, condusive to people watching, random conversations, and some quality time watching VH1 classics. As others have said, things get pretty crammed/insane around 1:30am so plan your exits and last call accordingly.

    If you're sitting, order from the older lady with the feisty wit who busts her ass night and day while getting the unwashed and hipster masses drunk.  And be prepared - should you order water, laughter will surely ensue. Because after all - who goes to the Model to stay sober? (aside from me, obviously).

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  • 0

    Meh. I kinda hate the model. But it is cheap and is open till 2....not like the silly sil which closes early. I like it here better when no one is in it, and it's a true dive. Otherwise it's the kinda place that everyone knows your name - if your name is hipster foo.

    oh. if you do get dragged here at some point order a pineapple upside down shot. Holy crap yes.

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  • 0

    Maybe they should change the name to the RE-Model Cafe?

    This place seems to change every few months. Back in the day this place was the coolest bar in Boston. The filth and grit was part of its charm in addition to the awesome people who run the place, cheap drinks, and the crowd who were drawn to it. Now they have art-deco lighting and marble tables? C'mon.
    Not only that, but there's no juke box anymore and the plan is to bring in a D.J. :(

    The good news: The people who work there are still friendly and take good care of ya, the drinks aren't *that* expensive, and if you ever went there back when it was still cool you can reminisce and feel like you're part of local history.  

    I just don't believe it.

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  • 0

    Note: You should read Cheeba H's review of this place. That's a long version of why I thought it was awesome. This quote about a girl who plays WOW because she:

    "needs a conduit with which to be a dork whore and collect a group of erect socially deficient males to compete with one another for her attention as she leads them on just by the virtue of having various slots they hope to one day put their penis in."

    I can't say it better, so I quoted it, sorry Cheeba!

    Yeah, it's like the "im a drunk hipster ur a drunk hipster lets go have skinny sex" bar. GOOD TIMES!!

    I went here Sunday night after the Silhouette closed, and it was fun. My girlfriend got served a lot faster than me, so I let her order for both of us. We were here with a group of people who hang out there regularly, and it seemed like they had their own "spots." Hilarious.

    It seems there was quite a bit of social hierarchy going on, but who cares? Just enjoy your cheap beer, decent drinks and have fun with your friends. Cash only.

    I give it 4* because the atmosphere was much to my liking (dark, jukebox with indie tunes, pool tables) and the drinking was quality. It doesn't get 5* because I can only take so much douchery.

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  • 0

    I've had some fun times here, and was lucky to have experienced the days of a real jukebox, not those fancy disco ones, with the swirly neon lights. A real jukebox full of non-Britney Spears music that people actually put time and thought into. I have to say: once the jukebox dies, the forecast for a bar looks mighty grim.

    Music was part of the character that made the Model. Not just the Model but many bars far and wide. The Model is still quirky, still decorated haphazardly (a swordfish, anyone?) and still fun. Yet I can't help but be saddened by the fact that anyone, at anytime, can play Enrique Iglesias or Pray by MC Hammer. Funny when you're alone on your computer; lame when you're in a packed bar.

    This place is crowded most nights and they've implemented a doorman for help.

    If the quirky neighborhood folks and varied crowd don't lure you back, the KFC across the street surely will. So cheap; so, so bad.

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  • 0

    I came here 3 years ago - when I was a youngin to the Boston area - (had only lived here 1 year and a half...so much to learn!).

    It was during that crazy snowstorm in 2005, around mid-January or early February. My car got trapped under a 8 foot drift next to my friend's apartment in Brighton!

    What (were we) to do?

    We both had no idea where to go and party that night. I couldn't sit in the house and watch "Sex in the City" reruns any longer!

    I was a Somerville gal at the time and she had just moved to Brighton/Allston area, and we knew very little about the party scene. After a rather tame night at the KELLS, we were informed by some "random dude" that the 1/2 mile troop through the four foot snow drifts was worth it, if we could make it to the "best dive bar in Boston"  - aka the Model Cafe on Cambridge street.

    We eventually arrived and a fun, although fuzzy, time was had by all!

    The funny thing is, I came back here two weeks ago with my boyfriend. He suggested the place after we had already gone to dinner downtown with friends and we still wanted to keep the night going...or  errrhh drinking more. I had a major case of de ja vu as soon as I walked in. I really never thought I would have a reason to come back here...turns out my summer sublet is just 2 blocks away..

    All I can say is... $2 Coors light drafts, anyone?
    Ummm...hell yes.

    So in the words of the Terminator,

    "I'll BE BACK"

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  • 0

    4 star dive bar?

    We wound up here after a couple drinks at Deep Ellum next door. Crowded by scenesters and a random scattering of old men, being at Model at 1:30 am is an experience to be cherished.

    The bartender was friendly, the drinks inexpensive, and the scenery prime for the best of people watching. Pretty sure the bar was cash only, and surrounded by guys with bleached mohawks (no faux hawks up in here), girls with H.R. Giger tattoos, and your Uncle Steve who you haven't seen at a Christmas in years because he's got the "family gene" are all regulars.

    Unlike Sarah R, I found no poo on the seat. But that could possibly  be attributed to the fact that I DID NOT use the ladies room. Someone must have been in there poo'ing up the seat when I had no choice but to relieve the strain on my bladder, and entered the mens room. The door doesn't lock and I walked in on someone standing at the toilet, I quickly apologized and he actually offered to guard the door for me. I figured he would probably just end up walking off, but no! He actually waited for me. Whatta guy!

    Of course we were accosted by the guy in a cutoff shirt who wanted to know if "We liked to party?", to which we replied "Oh yes, we just LOVE to party", knowing we'd just possibly invite him over to our nonexistant apartment off of North Beacon or just resort to going to Rednecks for some cheap pizza and cheese fries.

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  • 0

    Why is it that every time I come to the Model, I'm already drunk? Maybe because it's one of those places that requires one to be at least buzzed before entering. It also seems to be my new favorite place to go to after a bout of singing at Do Re Mi.

    At any rate, I really like Model, despite having found poo on the ladies' room toilet seat on my first visit. This discovery made me run screaming from the bathroom in true eight-year-old fashion. You know, if eight-year-olds got drunk and stuff. I told you I was hardcore!

    Don't come here expecting the most obscure microbrews on tap; your choices are limited to some lawnmower beers and maybe a few more "upscale" brands (like Sam Adams, if Sam could be considered upscale).

    People watching is at its prime here. The last time I went, some middle-aged dude and his entourage rolled up to the Model in a limousine. I think that was the first and last time I'd ever seen a limo in Allston. Truly that was one for the history books.

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  • 0

    Remember when there was a cold war on for who could be the punkiest, the most metal, the hardest hardcore kid around? Well the winners of that cold war have grown up to be sad examples of people who went so far to live up to an imaginary self-image that going back now would send them into a spiraling identity crisis.

    So they suck it up- and plow forward with more tattoos, still listening to the same genre of music at 26 as they were at 16 even if their coming of age rebellious phase should have long burned out. Maybe they long for the days of Rocco and Birdsie on WAAF.

    Its a depressing mix of the above mentioned and lofty thrift store shoppers who could be in grad school or working on their Hopper meets Beckmann art project that they talk about but looks like crap, just like their journalism that never seems to show up in any publications. People who are more interested in showing off their knowledge of a niche scene then they are in actually holding a sincere interest anything.

    Its akin to when you meet a girl who plays World of Warcraft- its immediately apparent she has no interest in technology or video games, but needs a conduit with which to be a dork whore and collect a group of erect socially deficient males to compete with one another for her attention as she leads them on just by the virtue of having various slots they hope to one day put their penis in.

    At the Model you can meet women who are much the same only instead of World of Warcraft (to fulfill your fantasy induced by all the Liz Vicious/Suicide Girls prono you watch) they use a combination of vintage or torn clothing, dyed hair, possibly long socks, maybe some leather if they're a little older..

    The kind of women who say things like "best - xxxxx - EVAR" or have an on going predilection for pirates/ninjas because they feel its cute, makes men smile at them, allows them to be 'girl who like stupid thing A B or C' and once again gets them attention.

    The guys range from grungy to suburban hip, from snooty to over the top aggressive/sloppy. The kind of men who wear those stupid looking slip on sneakers that seem to be the rage in Boston- and as previously mentioned will attempt to seduce and impress women with their ability to name drop.  

    Its a living breathing case study in the way the American society is drawing out childhood to last into your late 20's early 30's. It reminds me of a lamer version of a hip NYC bar except at the Model the t-shirts are all bands you've heard of already. People who think they are an embodiment of some unrealistic image or especially hip when in reality they come across as trendy and desperate for social acceptance.

    Its a bunch of kids, no, adults- who play make believe while they get drunk and every time I go there I feel like i'm the only person who realizes it.

    That being said- the beer is cheap, bathrooms dive dirty, they got some big stuffed game fish on the walls. The place isnt too bad on a weekday, its mostly just some local drunks and a few 20 somethings playing pool.

    It's composed of two halves, one side on your right if your looking at the building that contains the bar and pool table. Off to the left is a room of tables and booths. There is an older lady who waitresses the second half, and an older man who bartends the right.

    The staff seems to be gruff but cordial, as are the doormen. I've never seen a cover here although I hear they have bands occasionally and i've never gone to see music.

    They are open till 2am, so its a great squeeze in one more hour place.

    It is a fun place if your just looking to get trashed and fuck around- but I do feel that the crowd is judgmental. A Malaysian friend of mine who dresses in expensively bright orange and white colored clothing once complained that he had trouble getting served, and was passed by a few times before anyone gave him a beer.

    But that adds to the fun of the place, you can take friends who clearly wont fit in, pretend like you dont know them once you get there, and talk lots of shit about them to everyone else at their own discomfort.

    Its the White Horse for a different breed of steed.

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  • 0

    So I didn't check over all my reviews to verify it, but I think this is my first 1-star review.  

    The Model is an f-ing sh*thole.  That would be fine since it has cheap beer if it weren't for the ridiculously snotty hipsters and b*tch waitresses.

    I'm not a hipster, you'd probably say I fall on the side of preppy, though really I just don't care how I look.  Being someone who frequents places like Great Scott I've never been the victim of preppy discrimination at the hands of obnoxious hipsters...until the Model, that is.

    My friends and I went in here last Friday, grabbed drinks from the bartender and plunked down at a table.  We moved one of the other tall tables over so we could all sit together.  Our waitress, who managed to NEVER be there when we wanted drinks, promptly came over to inform us that the tables were too close together and we were "violating the fire code!"  Not wanting to be @ssholes we moved them apart some.  Needless to say this wasn't good enough, we had to move the table back to where it came from.  We kept the stools though, and of course we were still violating the "fire code" bc we had too many stools.  BTW the table next to us had more..."fire code" my ass.

    In short, the Model attracts the worst of what the hipster world has to offer and seems to hire it too.  Personally I think everyone should boycott this place for having such an @sshole mentality.

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  • 0

    Why did I give this unwashed hipster Allston dive 4 stars, well, it's exactly what it is--a divey, unwashed Allston hipster bar and if you're looking to find a place to beard-watch, this is the place for you. They have a full-bar, are packed Friday nights around midnight, and you're pretty much promised to see some bike messenger you know from somewhere or one of the bag boys from Trader Joes.

    I just felt extremely comfortable here. The outside of the door is completely filled by cigarette smoke and if you come with someone who frequents the bar every other weekend--they know everyone, which is what I did. There are plenty of tables to sit and chill with your friends, places to throw down your drink while talking with your hands. The beer is cheap. The booze is cheap. The jukebox rocks. Don't dress up for this one. Just wear your jeans, mess your hair and walk on in. This is for drinks, talk. Just straight up hang, man.

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  • 0

    I have written before that I give five stars to an establishment when it accomplishes what it intends to do or if I have guests visitng from out of town and must take them there. It doesn't necessarily mean upscale, trendy, or that it has a celeb chef and so on. The Model Cafe, for the first reason, gets five stars from me.

    This is the dive bar - worthy of Webster's. The only reason you will find a model in here is so (s)he can get directions to get out of the vicinity. This rundown watering hole is filled with friendly misfits and thus there are no misfits. Wear what you want, smell what you want to smell like but be nice while you slurp on your cheap drinks.

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  • 0

    Well, I don't think I've ever really been here on a weekend night, so it's nice and empty when I go with people playing pinocle or doing crosswords. I guess all the undesirables go on the weekday nights (hey!).

    But the clientele at those times always seems to be the kind that have something to say to you and won't leave you alone. Maybe I just have a face that screams "Speak to me! I need company!" Seriously. One time this guy was telling me about how he builds custom guitars and he gave me his card. Who does that? I have business cards, but I only use them for those "eat lunch for free" fishbowls. This other guy was some postal worker that told me everything about his route. This other guy looked like he just got off his job at the bank and was talking to me about Feist and some other BS like that--like he's trying to be down with the kids. And then this other guy's all like "you ladies have been playing pool a long time" and I'm all like "What of it?" and he's all "Daaaaaaamn" and I'm all "Yep."

    Going here makes me realize what a snob I've become. Or maybe I'm just getting old and crotchety. Cause when I was younger, I didn't really give a shit about bathrooms and the like and now I'm all putting paper on the seat and opening doors with paper towels. But this bar kind of makes me feel like I'm dying.

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  • 0

    Yes, it's everything everyone says it is: a snotty, obnoxious hipster joint with cheap beer, a good jukebox, that is pretty much always overcrowded with non-model types.

    (How ironic - maybe that's what keeps the hipsters comin' back!)

    But I digress...

    I don't come here often, but when I do, I always seems to be served by the elderly owner  who reminds me of my grandma (I don't actually know that she's the owner for a fact, but I've heard). It kind of makes me feel guilty for getting plastered, but she is so damn cute that I can't help but order up more beers just for the chance to talk to her.

    But be careful - if you get too rowdy, and she sees you, she WILL reprimand you. Just like you'd expect a grandmother would. And you might like it.

    I give the Model 4 stars just for her!!!

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  • 0

    Unironic dive bar.
    This seems to be the real thing, not a bar simply redecorated to look like a dive. It smelled funny (at least the night I was there), had enough fish mounted on the walls to make a taxidermist happy, and a waitress who was easily over 70.
    Staff and patrons seemed nice enough. I suppose I'd come back a bit if I lived in the neighborhood, as it did seem like a nice, friendly place that is just in need of a good scrubbing.

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  • 0

    Lordy.  The Model.  No matter how you decide to pronounce it, it is where grungy drunk hipsters go to get laid.  Honestly, I haven't been to the Model in years -- but really what is going to change?  If I was still frequenting this place I'd feel like Matthew McConaughey in Dazed and Confused, "... I keep getting older, but the mod lookin' hipster chicks stay the same age..."  And that'd be no good.

    They probably still have the cheap bottles of PBR and Miller High Life there, the pool table with it's two sides a foot away from walls, the ancient waitress you kind of feel sorry for, and the jukebox you can only hear if you're in the front section of the place.  It did have a good selection of music on it though.

    Under 30 and feelin' frisky?  Check out the Model.  There's lonely guy/girl with a white belt and greasy hair waiting for you with a Pabst and a dollar in the jukebox.  I think David Bowie is coming on next so get to it.

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