My fiancé and I visited this small-town gem on a road trip from Tampa back to our home in Seagrove Beach.  We stopped here because a) there weren't many more appealing options and b) it sounded like a place that we'd enjoy.  The atmosphere was nice, minus the barnyard stench that lingered from the front door to the docks. The cook smoking right outside the front door didn't help much either. We took a table inside by the water. Our waitress visited us after making a pit stop to a table that was occupied by her friends - she made a reference to blow jobs and then got our drink order. The food was normal bar food - we got the calimari, then my fiancé had the turkey Reuben and I had a bacon cheeseburger.  My order was wrong, but all was not lost!  It was all "okay", but again, we understand that it's not the Ritz Carlton. We had also been in a car for about 5 hours, so we both would've happily eaten the floorboards out of a shit-house.  All in all, I think we'd go back for drinks, but we're not rushing there any time soon for the hillbilly seafood cuisine.
On a side note: use the restroom before you leave the house. The ones provided are right next tithe kitchen and resemble a broom closet in a crack-house more than an actual bathroom. I was worried that crabs were literally going to jump from the toilet seat onto my body. Â Only to later come across a sign that read: "Warning: Killer Crabs!"
Give it a try!
Is there a way to give negative stars? It's like someone went through all the effort to build a place on the water and just kind of gave up. This place is crying out for Gordon Ramsay to give it a make-over.
Obviously there are some operational issues, when the waitresses are running around frantically, the manager is no where in sight, and there are long aggressive pauses at the kitchen window.
The bad management trickles down to the kitchen and the over all experience. St. Marks is a speck on the map, and there is so much potential with this location. Until someone finds a passion to run this restaurant the way it should be, the one-star reviews will keep coming.
5 Stars for the Fried Pickles!!!
5 Stars for the fried Crab claws!!
I love coming here and wish I could give it a better rating but:
The beer is WAY over priced and the service is hit or miss. Â $3.50 for a miller lite bottle? Â come on...
I've tried some of the other items on the menu and they have just been 'ok', mostly bland, boring and WAY over priced.
Tourist trap! One of the superpowers bequeathed to natives of Panama City is the ability to smell a tourist trap from a mile away.
Now, if you can go in with understanding this fact, one can still have a halfway decent meal at the Riverside Cafe.
Near the Riverside Cafe there are also a barbecue joint and a "cantina" but both were closed during our holiday visit. Riverside Cafe is open 7 days a week.
Having driven all that way into the wilderness of the river there wasn't much debate between the members of our dining party as it was either the Riverside Cafe or drive miles back up the highway.
The Riverside Cafe, along with the other restaurants in St. Marks, is located at the southern terminus of the Tallahassee-St. Marks Historic Railroad Trail, a paved biking path that runs about 20 miles between the two towns and is built on the path of an old railway. Many of our fellow diners were cyclists. Considering that ours was one of only two cars out front we were surprised to see how busy the dining room was until we saw all the bicycles parked in front of the door.
Why do I call the Riverside Cafe a tourist trap? Well, it has many of the negative attributes commonly associated with the trope, such as unnecessarily high prices and cutting the corners they hope you won't mind. At the same time, one of the great positives of tourist traps is they often occupy the prime real estate and have awesome views. So is the case with the Riverside Cafe.
This restaurant is located directly on the St. Marks river (you really can't appreciate this from the outside) and offers a great views of boats scooting across the river, people tying up at the dock and coming into the cafe to dine, and seagulls and pelicans swooping about and perching on the beams of the dock just outside the confines of the dining room. The kids ought to really enjoy the opportunity for such an up-close view of pelicans, which really are majestic creatures.
The dining area has a couple of covered rooms open to the air and also a completely open air bar running along the edge which provides the very best view of the river.
What about that corner cutting? One of my biggest restaurant peeves is when a place tries to rip you off on your beverages. To me, high-priced alcohol at these places is just the way it is, but to overcharge for soft drinks? Come on! At the Riverside Cafe they serve Coke products, no free refills, brought to you as a cup of ice in a styrofoam cup and a 12 oz can. How much for this luxury treatment? $1.68! Why on earth is it reasonable to ask me to pay $1.68 for a 12 oz can of coke? I understand this restaurant's location is a bit more isolated than many, but I still don't see why they can't lower that price or move to a better drink service.
The food consists of various seafood offerings, burgers, and sandwiches. There is no lunch menu, as far as I could tell. I chose to have the River Burger, whose name and description sounded like it might be one of the Riverside Cafe's signature items. The River Burger is a 1/2 lb. burger served on on light rye with jalapenos, mushrooms, swiss cheese, Heinz 57, and mayonnaise. I asked them to hold the mayo on mine. It was actually a pretty good burger. Better than most burgers I've had in this style lately. I was a little skeptical of the rye bread and the Heinz 57 on a burger, but all the flavors really went well together. Jalapenos weren't very hot at all. Fries were pretty good example of generic, frozen/fried fries. Fine with me. I do wish that that burger was a bit cheaper than $8.99 though. Seemed a bit high for what it was.
Service was "ok." Seat yourself.
All-in-all, a neat place to eat a meal and drink a beer while watching the action on the river.
Started out like gangbusters with a great margarita... Ordered steamed oysters, they came out all the way with jalipinios bacon and cheese. Had to send them back. The margarita was a pricy $6.50 for a 4.50 drink. Draft Yuengling was $3.50- the bottle was $3.25. Bud light 3.25. Water was reasonable. Our poor waitress sucked. She was new, inexperienced and got everything wrong. Shrimp burger was out of a package- frozen popcorn shrimp. The steamed oysters- save the money. My blackened grouper came on a stale bread that could resemble the stated kaiser roll - in your imagination. The tomato was limp and unappealing - the iceberg lettuce was almost yellow. I would not have served it at home. I can't give less than 1 star, but the only reason it gets that is for the view. Even the employees were talking about how the manager did not manage or mentor employees. This was evident. Stay away!
Ps: they do have breakfast and it is hard to ruin that but I'm not risking it!
Ok food but it is the setting that I the winner here. On the river, with a steady parade of interesting boats and people. Food is casual and slow when busy but it's hard to find a better place for a beer and burger or grouper sandwich on a nice afternoon. Dock your boat out back and enjoy!
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