Royal Bar

I loved this dive. Some friends who have a cabin in Park Rapids met my fella and I here while we were passing through last week. They said it's kind of a Park Rapids classic and they did not lie.

Since we'd been on the road, we first hit the bathrooms-that-might-as-well-be-closets-they-are-­so-small (legitimately, I wasn't sure if I could fit in one of the stalls). Then we settled down at a big table near the Buck Hunter and giant neon sign in the back since our friends brought their baby (baby in a bar!).

An exceptionally friendly lady came and took our drink orders while we set up a game of pool. We all got California burgers (bacon, cheese, other things...), fries and couldn't help but order the Balls of Fire too, which the server described as "great, but not too spicy," as if we'd be deterred if they were spicy. It was kind of cute.

The burgers were tasty-tasty and cheap. Nothing fancy, just good small town bar food. And while we waited for these morsels, I pool-sharked like never before.

It was a good day.

Okay, so yes, they only have box wine (and not good box wine, mind you), domestic beers (though they do have Summit EPA in a bottle) and a lot of deep fried food, BUT you have to go to the Royal knowing it is a small town bar. You get exactly what you expect. A dive bar.

If you are from out of town and go during the winter, people will stare. But since Park Rapids is a huge vacation town during the summer with enough lakes to write a book about, you shouldn't hesitate to step into this dive bar to enjoy a strong drink and some fried food during the warmer months if you so desire.

We go every year on Black Friday for a bloody mary or two and a burger. Usually there are 10-15 of us and we take over the back area. Yeah, it is not a mind-blowing experience, but we leave pleasantly buzzed, full tummies and memories of another evening of laughter and conversation. That being said...I would never come here on say a date (whether it is a blind date or a date with your spouse). I wouldn't take your folks here if they have a low tolerance for town drunks. Also, um, the bathrooms are incredibly tiny...like they were an afterthought: "Oh crap, we have to put bathrooms in the place if we want to pass state inspection...ahhhh, let's shove a stall or two into that small corner over there..." So, um, people of a larger size might find navigating the restrooms to be more of an obstacle course.

The burgers remind me of McDonald's. They are small. They claim that for an extra chunk of change you can get Bison meat instead of hamburger, but when I asked for Bison, I couldn't really tell if it truly was Bison. Oh well. It still tasted great at the time.

The decorations, jukebox, darts, people watching and stiff drinks all make for a fun place for a group. However, you should know, I only go once a year as part of our Black Friday tradition. When I am up there other times, I walk right by the Royal without taking a second glance.

cheers.