Barnacle Barney's Tiki Bar

The bartenders Kelly and Deanne are very good and can tell you great places to check out while in the Keys.
The chef Luis will cook any fresh catch you bring him and does a nice job.
Great to have this Tiki Bar available while staying at the Hammocks resort.

We were staying at Hammock's so we figured we'd try out their "tiki bar". I guess a bar made out of wood counts as a "tiki bar", right?

Even before heading down to the bar, we were skeptical of this place. There were ads in the rooms for the drinks they serve here - made with "wine based liqueurs".

We arrived during the Bingo game. Free to play, and you can win free drinks. We didn't want to have to pay attention to anything, so we opted not to play. Winners received a free beer (draft or bottled) or a mixed drink made with their wine based liqueurs.

We looked over their menu and as expected, it was full of overpriced standard bar food. The table next to us ordered some - and it didn't look so good. There was one good deal though - super cheap pitchers of beer! Or so we thought. Turns out that they were pretty standard prices for the size of the pitchers - which were small.

At sunset, they fire a canon. Everyone was all excited for it. The canon is a tiny little thing that looks like a toy and it fires a shotgun shell.

They're pretty poorly staffed. When we arrived (during Bingo), there was one cook, one waitress and one person calling the Bingo numbers. After Bingo finished, that worker left... right at 7pm - when the place started filling up with families and couples who had just finished their days doing... whatever. So, one waitress and one cook.  Needless to say, service was rather slow and inattentive. Not particularly friendly either. I'm sure we could have gotten slightly faster service had we sat at the bar, but we wanted to sit with a better view of the water.

The view of the water was really the only saving grace for this place, but that's hardly enough to warrant going back if you have any other options.

I doubt anyone is going to go to Barnacle Barney's Tiki Bar unless they are guests at the Hammocks at Marathon but it is a good option if you're staying at the Hammocks and want to spend a lazy day at the pool while drinking a cold adult beverage.

While we were staying there there was a three for $5 beer special on drafts and you can get a "Celebration Sunset Punch" (orange juice, pineapple juice, rum and grenadine) for $5, which isn't too bad and keeps you from having to go back to your room or run out to the store.

The view and location aren't bad either.  It's a decent sized bar with a nice view of the Gulf of Mexico and if you're sitting by the pool they'll bring your food and drink out to you there.

The food on the other hand is not their strong suit.  A reviewer of the Hammocks resort said the wings were good, but in my opinion they weren't all that great.  While they were of a decent size and you got a about 10 for $7.95 (which I can't believe is a good value these days, but it is about right), the Buffalo sauce was runny, barely sticking to the wings and as a result hardly had any taste let alone heat.  We also ordered a Cuban sandwich which in true Keys style was served in a red plastic basket with a ton of fries, but instead of being served on Cuban bread it was served on a hamburger bun which also made it kind of small.

So take advantage of having a bar onsite while you're staying at the Hammocks and enjoy the view, just don't expect much of the food.  If I could break out my rating, I'd give them four stars for the view and convenience, three for the drinks, and one for the food.