Full Bull Smokehouse Saloon

Last Saturday, I had the misfortune of eating here with my boyfriend Brian, having stopped randomly in Watseka during our road trip.

I won't bother with excessive details on how the place was dead excepting three young men at the bar watching football, two of which seemed incredibly underage- but had beers.
No.
Instead, I will tell you about our lunch.

My boyfriend opted for the pulled pork sandwich and sweet potato fries, I went for two sliders, a brisket and a pulled chicken.

The chicken tasted like it was pulled out of a pot of boiling water. It tasted like the color white, and the texture was not that of a food. It sat on a firm, untoasted, dry dinner roll. I spit it directly back onto my plate after one chew. It made me want to die.

The brisket was served on the same kind of bun, but was a mere two thin strips of fat. There was a narrow liner of purple meat along the edges of each 3" fat strip, which Brian tried and rejected.
It was so obviously and offensively wrong, as far as what a restaurant should be selling to a human, that I was kind of impressed by your bold lack of giving a s**t.

Brian's pulled pork would have been inedible, if not for the fact that Brian did manage to get it down.
I tried it with the mustard sauce- this was a mistake.
The Carolina sauce was a worse one, do you make it with Simple Green?

Lastly, the sweet potato fries were astoundingly dark, for as soggy and chewy as they were. We surmised by the look, smell, and taste that it had been a while since your fryer had seen fresh oil.

When I saw the check I wanted to use my knife to carve into the table, "BURN THIS PLACE DOWN AND KILL YOUR FAMILIES," but instead Brian paid the bill, left a tip, and we walked out already mocking you.

The greatest offense of all is that you call yourself a saloon, and sell only bottled beers. How dare you. How dare you.

At the outset, let me start by saying that my husband and I love experiencing local places when we are traveling.... honestly, they often are disappointing-- but every once in a while, we hit upon pure local culinary gold!!!! Sadly, this was NOT one of those times.

I am (generously) awarding them one star for their name:  Full Bull Smokehouse Saloon.  This is truly an awesome name.  It made me want to go there.  And along with some friends and the hubby, we journeyed there for lunch one fine Saturday when we happened to be in Watseka.  

Maybe we should have turned around when we found we were the only ones there.  Nope.  The place had a four star rating on Yelp-- and it had a freakin' awesome name.  Maybe we should have thought twice about things when we asked the waitress basic questions like was the cornbread sweet? And she said she would have to ask because she had never actually tasted it the food.... Also, we were hungry.  

Our friends ordered the catfish special.  I ordered the pulled pork platter.  The hubby ordered the pork and brisket platter.  Our daughter ordered chicken fingers and french fries.  We were excited.  It had been a good day to this point.....When, forty-five minutes later, the waitress finally told us that the brisket would be a few more minutes, we had grown somewhat weary, however.  We started taking turns going into the bathroom, thinking that fate would be tempted and the food would arrive during an absence....Eventually, this worked.  After nearly an hour of inexplicably waiting for food which should have taken minutes to prepare, our food (without even a hint of an apology for the long wait) finally arrived.  We were very, very hungry.

Until we tasted our food.  Okay-- in fairness, my pork was not bad.  It wasn't really hot anymore.  Frankly, it wasn't even warm.  But it was edible.  The same cannot be said for the cornbread, which I think would have bounced off of the floor had I the bad manners to try this.  Others in our group did not fare so well.  My daughter ate my semi-cold french fries because her cold chicken was apparently as rubbery as my cornbread.  Our friends' catfish had managed to be fried and soggy all at the same time, and again, no one's food was hot.  As for my husband, he also found the pork edible, but that brisket which had apparently delayed us for nearly an hour, was the fattiest piece of grizzle I have ever seen at a BBQ place.  And his Texas Toast:  it was Wonder Bread.  And not even really toasted at all.

I guess maybe this place rocks at night???  But this was really, really bad.

Worst food and dining experience ever. They managed to get our fried pickles right. They were ok with a corn meal batter. 45 mins later, our real food arrived. My husband and I ordered catfish with a flour batter and was soggy and luke warm. The Sweet potato fries were cold and not worth the extra $.75. The cole slaw was good. Our friend's daughter received cold chicken fingers. Our friend received the FATTEST brisket I've ever seen. He also ordered Texas Toast. It was thin wonder bread with butter on it. NOT Texas toast! They do have a variety of barbecue sauces (a plus) and te ice tea was good. We like to give local restaurants a try when traveling. We will be skipping this place next time.....