Gotta Pizza

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  If you particularly enjoy vomiting en masse all over yourself as you drive your car down the highway, then this is the restaurant for you!!!!!...I just knew that when I saw the sign in the window of this "pizza" restaurant/old, broke down, disgusting shack of what is obviously an old gas station, advertising "Canadian Crawlers here!"-them's fishing worms I believe, that I should have turned around in my pre-puked car and kicked up every stone in their gravel parking lot on the way outta Dodge... So, fishing worms they have, an unbelievable, unmistakable, irremovable stench of old dirty grease they have, a confusing decor of dead animal heads, fish carcasses and cartoon curtains of Luigi the pizza chef they have...but what they don't have...at least when this unsuspecting newbie appeared in their doorway, was pizza. Not a slice nor sliver. And to boot, this place is REE-DICK-U-LUSS-LEE expensive!!! The menu in this place (which is on a ball park-style concession stand board, complete with plug in lettering) is all over the map, chicken fingers, tacos, supposed pizza. I saw many items over six and seven dollars...I mean, really?...You sell worms here!!!!...I opted for the special they had hand written on the tiny white board next to the cash register..."A  boat of tater tots with chili, cheese onions, jalapenos, and ranch dressing"  It sounds disgusting, I know, and it was four bucks. I was hungry though and decided to try it since, it was some sort of special aaaaand it was one of the cheaper things on the menu...Mark this down in your little book....BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG MISTAKE! One of the biggest mistakes I've ever made in my life, seriously! As I sat waiting on my order, the horrific stench of the place just began to get to me, even overwhelm me...I finally got my order and ate about half of it. The food just tasted as the place smelled...Now I hear one of the ladies in the restaurant say, "He's always leaving the spoon in here!" And I look over and I see the woman pulling a large spoon out of one of their iced tea vats, assuming she must be speaking of some absent-minded fellow employee/tea maker...Left his big stirring spoon inside the iced tea for extra flavor...And my tots, they just taste gross, something not right...I look at the two deer heads posted above me (It's like they're saying to me at this time, now you're gonna get yours...) I toss the rest of the tots in the garbage and I leave this filthy stink hole forever...I get maaaaaaaybe five miles down the road when the gastric eruption occurs and exits via the oral cavity. I can't even pull over quick enough, I can't even open my car door. I puke everywhere and I puke everything!!...DO NOT EVER EAT HERE EVER!!!! NEVER!!!!! EVER!!!!...This is the worst excuse for a restaurant that I have ever seen! Please Health Department!!! Come inspect and come quick!!!!!

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  Posted on 10.18.12 Billy Joe J.

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