Tennyson Lodge

OH...MY...WORD.

So here's the story, of how I tried to do something good, and I ended up having to dodge a nightstick wielded by a stripper calling herself Officer Nasty.

This place is famous for having a night called Bare-aoke, which I may have spelled incorrectly, but I'm alright with that.  Seems clever enough, and we had friends in from out of town so we went over Halloween weekend.  It's basically just a bar that happens to have naked ladies wandering around.  So we sat at a table, and stared at what could best be described as a disorganized burlesque show?  

But, we managed.  The beers were relatively inexpensive, and the service was pretty good considering the increasingly surreal crowd.  The singing seemed almost like an after thought with the mic tucked into a far corner of the stage.  Fun Fact:  While singing, you can see into the private dance room, which may be the saddest thing I've seen in...forever.

At the end of the night as we were wrapping up, I began walking to the front when there she was...Officer Nasty.  And not just her, but the nightstick that was maybe, how do I say this delicately, a bit icky?  We locked eyes...she had the dark, dead eyes of a shark...and I watched in slow motion as she raised her night stick to playfully smack me on the leg.

I'm not a fan of strangers or germs, so this situation had a lot of negatives happening.  If that sticky night stick touched my pants I would probably still be having nightmares about it.  So my brain took over my body, and with ninja/Matrix like skill, I dodged attempted strike after attempted strike.

So honestly, we had a ton of fun ultimately, and it was quite a bonding experience for our group, and usually when we bring it up in conversation, everybody we talk to insists that we should all go again.  We'll see.

How is there not a yelp review yet for the Tennyson?  I have to correct this injustice.

The Tennyson Lodge is a quintessential rite of passage if you're going to claim to be a Pittsburgher.  There is a cover (I believe $5) and if naked ladies dancing to your karaoke stylings sounds like a good time, this is the place for you.  

I'm not gonna lie.  To say this is a no frills establishment may be a bit of an understatement.  The women's restroom (single stall, shower curtain?) doubles as the dancers' dressing (?) room.  The crowd tends to be relatively diverse in that 1/2 the people are there to gawk at the women, and the other half are there to just watch the whole scene.

Tends to be smoky, get there early for a table, and be prepared to sing a song or two.  A good time will be had by most.  Well, at least if you're my type of person.