Alamo Saloon

This really is a "Dive bar".  Although I met some greatpeople there that seemed to like the place.  Surveying the surroundings I ordered a beer and was surprised to be charged $4 for a draft.  This is a $2 a beer kind of place, not a $4 kind of place.  I asked if they had any "happy hour" specials and the bartender told me that $4 was the happy hour special!   So... although this place isn't horrible,  I think you'll do a lot better at either the Saddle Bronc Grill or the All American (formerly Overtime Cafe).

Let's say you've recently moved to the great Valley of the Sun from the midwest, and you're staying with your very generous grandparents for a few months to get on your feet and save up some money for your own place. This seems all great and fine, except you are 27 and they live in Fountain Hills. (Grandparentville, USA!) Do people venture out of their homes past 9:00 p.m. here? Is there a city-wide curfew that I don't know about?

But there is a lit-up oasis at the end of a dingy strip mall in the middle of the city. And that, my friends, is The Alamo Saloon. Upon first Google of this place, the top-hit is their MySpage page. Yes, it's THAT kind of bar.

One word for The Alamo: TOWNIES! Other words that come to mind, just to give you an idea of the crowd mix: Old, young, meth, Ed Hardy, surprisingly normal, definitely a hooker, drunk dad, mullet. In other words, HEAVEN for people watching.

There was a "classic rock cover band" blaring when we walked in. They were called "Blue Tattoo" and they were just as glorious as you'd imagine. At first glance I thought the lead singer was wearing an Steve Perry wig to look ironic, but I think that...really was his hair. No words. It was perfect.

Also perfect? There is SHUFFLEBOARD! My bar game obsession has moved cross-country with me and I couldn't be happier! Even more perfectery?! THEY SELL FIVE HOUR ENERGIES AT THE BAR. Put a fork in me. This was the most hilarious night I've had in a while and just a warning to my friends who come to visit me: Our first stop will be The Alamo!