Bob's Garage

AWFUL!  The hub bub about the decor, well, it's cheap and trashy. The place REEKS of stale cigarette smoke (and this is coming from a smoker) that hits you like a ton of bricks the moment you walk in the door.

On a whim, we decided to try Bob's Garage for the first time on Saturday, July 13, 2013. The place was all but empty and no one greeted us or told us where to sit, we just kind of stood by the door waiting to get noticed before finally choosing a table on our own. No verbal greeting or acknowledgment of any kind as we stood there. Ordered a glass of wine and beers for my companions. I suddenly felt ill (didn't know at the time, but it was a sudden attack of vertigo), alas, I digress. I felt as if I were going to pass out. Sent one of my companions to get me some water. The waitress came over and said "Oh, I would have gotten that for you" in a very snotty tone, as if we breached some etiquette by NOT asking her for it when she was clearly not attentive. We ordered cheese sticks in case it was low blood sugar, but it was not. They were frozen and certainly not worth the price. The waitress could tell I was having some sort of issue and brought our check over "in case you need to leave suddenly"...REALLY? She never asked if I was okay, needed her to call someone, needed help or anything, but was more worried about collecting the bill than a customer's well-being. I will NEVER go back there again. Oh, by the way, 2 draught beers, 1 glass of wine (that I did not even sip) and an order of cheese sticks (frozen and not very good) was almost $22, what a rip off!

I've driven by this place so many times that I decided to try it for lunch one day. It's not exactly inviting from the exterior or, for that matter, at the front/side door. But if you're hungry or thirsty, you'll overcome any initial reservation you might have just developed. Once inside your visual senses are overwhelmed by what appears to have been an explosion of confetti and Christmas decorations that magically seem to be suspended from the ceiling like psychedelic stalactites. Once you accept that you're in an alternate universe, you can mosey up to the bar or find a seat at one of the small tables. I chose the former and noted the abundance of ash trays scattered all over the bar. Since I'm not a fan of eating where there is a heavy layer of cigarette smoke, I nearly got up and walked out. Luckily, no one at that particular moment was firing one up so I stayed.

I needed a beer (one of those days at work where I felt I owed it to myself to just have one...) but alas, the tap selection consisted of two lite beers (never!) and two summer ales (blue moon and summer shanty - neither of which will ever pass my lips). So I figured it was gonna be one of those days from start to finish and just ordered water.

Perusing the menu left me feeling like this wasn't my day at all so I opted instead for a burger. While it was ok, it wasn't great. Maybe I was so distracted by all the crap hanging over my head and worried for my personal safety that I couldn't properly focus on my meal. Service was good and friendly but the atmosphere and I don't match. And, for that matter,  equivalent bar food can be found at your neighborhood tavern and you won't have to have your senses assaulted. I won't be back.

I've only been here once, but it was on December 23, which is about the equivalent of strolling into Mecca during the Hajj. In wintertime, Bob's Garage becomes a local destination because the two-room building gets completely overloaded with holiday decorations. The effort apparently takes two full Sundays and about 250 man hours. It doesn't get pulled down until the first Sunday after Valentine's Day, which is about how long it takes for the holiday hangover to pass.

Three phrases you won't hear inside:

- "I come for the food."
- "The air in here is just so fresh!"
- "Don't put that decoration up. It's too tacky, and we don't have any more room."

What makes it all especially nice is that it's all part of a massive December fundraising effort on the part of the Spirit of Christmas charity which aims to buy toys, clothes and food for needy North Hills families. As if the lights aren't enough to dull the senses, we experienced an overpacked bar and bad karaoke (redundant, I know) that evening. Lots of shouting about raffle tickets and door prizes. A talking Santa train overhead. Not exactly a place to sit and have a normal conversation, but that can be foregone in favor of the joyful cacophonous maelstrom of holiday revelry.