Brennan's Thai Palace

BAM! This place is amAzing. When you first arrive you pull into a glamorous setting of palm trees and a gate to protect the precious guests and tenants from riff raff. A nice old gentlement greets you and gives you directions while advising you to not exceed the posted 10mph speed limit. You never know when a hummingbird or bunny may dart in front of your vehicle. You feel a calm serenity as you approach a fountain and make your way to the right. Ample and generous parking awaits you. A few hops, skips, and a jump up the stairs to the entryway of the palace. A doorbell is there for your convenience so you don't have to risk breaking a nail by knocking. Once you've announced your arrival you may hear a tiny guard dog... "arf arf."

A beautiful Irish princess is your host. Take off your flip-flips to protect the imported? carpet. Decorations from abroad, or Pier 1, are everywhere you look. Feel free to set your purse on the gigantic oversized ottoman. Watch out for the straw chair, the weight limit for that one is only 50 pounds. Make your way into the deluxe kitchen where champagne will most likely greet you. Feel free to drink it like it's going out of style. An invisible DJ plays in the background (old-school wall radio). Pop your bottle over the large balcony.

After a few hundred sips of your choice beverage, you may want to check out the weight room and/or pool and spa area. You feel like a Very Important Person when you see the resort-sized but not quite Olympic-sized pool. There is a strange structure over the pool that almost looks like a bridge but it's just a bridge-wannabe. Lounge chairs come pre-padded for your enjoyment. No music is allowed however unless it's in your head or you might be allowed to hum quietly. Personally I can't wait to pour a bottle of bubbles in the hot tub but you didn't hear that from me. After you're sunburned and drunk you may want to hop on a treadmill in the fitness center, but probably you'll just want to go back inside and take a nap in the master bathtub.

All in all I will be coming back to BTP as often as possible. Don't forget, the hostess likes plants, candles, booze, and I recommend you bring your own snacks to share.