Jo's 5th Street Pub

Let me preface this by saying I could not be more excited to make this my 500th review!

A little while ago, there was a Yelp Talk thread going on about what makes a bar an actual dive bar. It was fun to read through everyone's criteria (must be cash-only, someone has to be sleeping at the bar, etc.) but when it comes to Jo's, there's simply no question. Jo's is 100% dive. And I 110% love it.

First of all, you have to drive to the back of a business to get to it, but it just looks like someone's house. You may get confused and feel like you're walking into someone's basement, and that feeling only gets stronger inside. Dark and dingy? Check. Smoky? Check. Regulars sitting around staring at you like a deer in headlights when you walk in? Oh yeah. And let's not forget the weird guy in a suit (?) running karaoke from a half-working machine in the corner. While we're at it, let's also not forget the drunk old dude singing awful versions of every song you never want to hear again. But it gets better.

Don't expect the bartender to make anything fancy. Here, you order beer or a well drink. Do expect them to be cheap, however. Feeling hungry? No problem, they'll unwrap a frozen pizza for you and throw it in the oven. Studies have been done that have proven Jo's frozen pizza ranks #1 in all possible options of drunk food.* Once you're ready for the entertainment portion of the evening, move over to the shuffleboard table and be ready to fight for victory.

Jo's nights don't happen for me that often anymore, but when they do, I treasure every minute.

* = according to studies done by Aimee K involving Taco Bell, leftover Thai food, slingers and Pointer's Pizza.