Tiki Lounge

Thematically this place really hits the mark but service wise, I don't think you can even expect the bartenders to remember who ordered what drink. The music was offensively awful and the first room you enter is claustrophobically small. As for the prices I'm sure that the volcano cost more than it should of and despite having little tolerance I didn't get much out of it buzz wise. In fact ordering it was a pretty big pain in the ass. We did not really feel comfortable in the area that this bar is located after the sunset.

I guess I'll start off with the positives about this place...there weren't that many. It has a nice feel to it and the decorations definitely match its name. When I first walked in, I noticed how musty and humid the air was. It was either they tried to replicate the humid beach air...or that's just the result of too many sweaty bodies under one roof. The music was pretty good...mostly mainstream stuff. They have a dance floor, even though it was teeny tiny, but at least there's one.

           And now let the itching begins...! It was way way way too crowded. I literally had to climb over/ karate chop my way through the crowd. The crowd meant waiting forever to get a drink. The service was awful and the bartenders were so rude. I guess I should be a little more forgiving because I would be cranky too if I had to deal with a drunk crowd all night long. However, they did choose this as a profession so I wish they were a little more enthusiastic about it. My friend ordered a "zombie", this light yellow drink that kind of tasted like pina colada. I liked it so I also ordered the same drink, but from a different bartender, since the one that made my friend's drink was busy serving another group. The girl who made my "zombie" handed me this pale red drink. It was pretty dark in there, but I could still tell the difference between red and yellow. I was suspicious so told her that my friend ordered the same thing, but it looked a lot different. She rudely replied that maybe the other bartender made it wrong and then walked away. The drink I got tasted straight up like gasoline. I still don't know what a "zombie" is supposed to taste like...pina colada or gasoline?

          It was a terrible first time experience with the drinks, but I thought maybe I was just unlucky that night. The following week, I gave Tiki Lounge another try, hoping maybe my first time there was just an unlucky glitch. My two friends and I all ordered the SAME drink, yes the "zombie". However we ordered from 3 different bartenders, and ended up with 3 DIFFERENT drinks at 3 different prices (like 25 cents difference)...all with the same name "zombie". So moral of the story...I still don't know what the "zombie" is supposed to taste like. I guess they just make whatever the crap they feel like. Be careful when you order the mixed drinks here. Just play it safe and get a beer or something.

What is the Tiki Lounge?

The Tiki Lounge is wandering down a quiet street in a small town, finding a baby crying on the sidewalk, picking it up, and seeing that the baby has your face.  That's the Tiki Lounge.

The Tiki Lounge is flying economy class, walking into the airplane bathroom, and re-emerging to find that you're now in Germany, it's 1942, and everyone in the country is jumping up and down in unison in an attempt to sink the entire nation into the ocean and finally end the war of all wars.  That's the Tiki Lounge.

The Tiki Lounge is watching TV at 2 AM when suddenly your dad shows up on the screen and tells you that he misses you and he wishes he could come back home to you and your mom but he's so much happier on cable because the grass is so much softer to the touch, and then you walk outside into your backyard and your grass has become thousands of copies of Babel on DVD.  That's the Tiki Lounge.

It is the physical realization of all of your worst fears, a confrontation with your inner demons, a bottomless abyss from which you can never swim free.  Just with more dancing.

Pro-tip: If you order a Delirium Tremens, just ask for the bottle.  It is super hard to keep it in the glass chalice it's served in while you're grinding on the floor.