Woody's

I came down to the Keys for a bachelor party and as a requirement of all bachelor parties we had to go to a strip club. I heard from friends that Woody's is a bottom of the barrel strip club but still enjoyable, but after reading the four 1 star reviews on Yelp, our group's expectations were rock bottom.

However, after paying the $10 cover and walking into the smokey room filled with middle aged men, we were all pleasantly surprised by the attractiveness of the strippers. There were skinny girls, curvy girls, huge fake boobs girls...everything. There was a girl, or should I say woman who was 20 years past retirement and another that probably should be on maternity leave, but it comes with the territory. All of the strippers were very friendly in a non-pushy way. Anyway, my friends and I had a great time and bought many lap dances for the future groom. Woody's deserves more than 1 star in our books.

OMG.  Not to be mean or anything, but this was baaaad.

The strippers were friendly, but I'm told that is not what one looks for in a stripper.

There were 2 for 1 drink specials, and I was so terrified of drinking from the glass - I was convinced I'll get herpies from just touching it.

It was just...bad.

Like...BAD.  Like, comedic movie-quality bad.

And before you ask why were in there...it was because it was a Sunday night, we were driving through, and asked ourselves "how bad could it be?".  Well, we got our answer.

Gross does not even begin to describe this place.