During the day it's ok, but at night, This place is perfect.....For tweakers, cowboys, and the "rodeo of booze-fueled superheroes with big mouths and small brains", and low life Orcutt has- been backwash, or marginal humans. At other bars, I'll make eye contact, smile politely and nod once or maybe twice , when I need a drink. And I don't wave my arms around or whistle when I want a drink, because I show respect to my fellow humans regardless of their skin color. I was the only dark skinned person at the counter, as I remember. Last night, the two waitresses that work there , made a point to not serve me for over twenty minutes, while I just sat there after they both noticed me at least twice., I watched them clean the bar and  count their tips (barkeep#1 the blonde washup with the miles on her who was fired) or serve every other person at the bar , and then the people to either side of me( barkeep#2  the red head with the long hair ) and even ask people who already had drinks , if they were doing alright (both) . . It would have been only my second drink, so I may as well have tried ordering the second after I got my first drink , and drank while I waited. The "Professional " bartendress from the wine bar at  ( Italian restaurant nearby ) who happened to be sitting next to me noticed this after she witnessed me being skipped over and over, and was nice enough to get  the redhead's attention within a millisecond, by just looking slightly to her left and smiling.The redhead immediately  said "What can I get for you?".. ."  I want such and such, and This gentleman needs a drink, he's been waiting" The barkeep reluctantly made me a super complicated vodka soda with lime ( with no lime again) thanks to the pro bartender. I will definitely take care of her , next time I go to her restaurant. And I told her so before I left.
By the way, there was two fights in two hours. One tweaker moron ( who was gettin served plenty , even though they know he's a troublemaker) got decked after trying to go around pickin fights, and finally coming across a military vet. The sherriffs proudly marched through there and hung out , like always, before doing nothing like always and leaving. And the second fight, was between one regular dude and one of the types I described above. The bartender was quick to start screaming and freaking out , both times. That was kinda funny :)  But  that's besides the point.
 If I'm not welcome there because I'm ethnic looking, then grow some balls and tell me to leave or do your job and try to  serve me a drink.  The daytime barkeep is  excellent.
this place is terrible and the only reason i say that is because one of their bartenders is incredibly rude. she got upset when she made my friend a terrible drink and my friend didn't want to drink it. Â she was like, "i make you a drink and you don't even finish it?!"
she scolded me like a child when i left my drink on the pool table, instead of asking me politely to remove it like any normal person in a service industry. when it was removed, another patron left their drink on the pool table and she came up to me and said "didn't i tell you already to not put this on the pool table?!" Â
um excuse me, aren't i a paying customer? treat me with respect and i'll come back to your crappy dive bar and spend my hard earned money. if you don't, i won't.
Elmer's was always shit, but somehow it's gone more downhill in the last handful of years. Â The past two times I stopped by, there was fight. Â Yup, it's that kind of bar now.
You know how every bar has that one girl in the top that's just a size or two too small revealing the chub she forgets to suck in when she's so drunk that she can barely keep her eyes open when she's trying to bum a smoke off you? Â Every female in the joint. Â And the dudes are those rednecks from high school that never left Santa Maria.
I like dive bars too, but this place is just...well, it's less like a dive bar and more like the remains of a urinal cake that's been broken into smaller islands by the steady flow of golden urine, flicked cigarette butts, and acidic vomit.
They get an extra star for existing so unabashedly.
I'll go back, but only as a reminder of why I shouldn't.
For Elmer's I really wish I could give it 0 stars or even negative stars. Â Bad selection of beer and liquor, idiot white trash patrons, asshole of a owner (Seriously!! I saw him assault a female customer once!) filthy bathrooms, no food, bad service. Fuck this place, go to Roony's instead. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â )
Review Source:As Ben mentioned above, Elmer's is NOT closed! In fact, after the Apocalypse, Elmer's will still be standing. It has been there for many generations of booze hounds, and will be there for many more.
Back in the day, I logged a lot of hours here. Beer, mixed drinks, shots --- Elmer's has it all. It just doesn't have food, wi-fi, or valet service. Nope. This is a dive bar. If you know what that is, bless you. If you don't, we don't need your kind and best if you move along.
Beer is limited. Maybe four on draft; and those will be Currs light, Buuud, Â Buuud light, and Firestone Double Barrel Ale. Maybe one or two others come around once in a while. Otherwise, cold beer in bottles of a decent variety, especially if you like the Mexican lagers. Food comes in bags. Like snack mixes, jerky, and nuts. Once in a while gratis food materializes on a Friday, but don't count on it.
The bar has most of the go-to brands, and a decent tequila selection. Avoid the well liquors unless you're already plastered. Harsh stuff.
And speaking of plastered, the pours are free-hand and generous. It is what makes the place unique, and seedy, and resonating with a quiet desperation. Can be just the ticket sometimes. The morning will be the regular bar flies, the afternoon brings in the pros, and the evening will find it either a meeting place for old friends, or a makeshift rodeo of booze-fueled superheroes with big mouths and small brains.
For other entertainment, there is the ubiquitous pool table, and they've got an internet jukebox for tunes. Two televisions grace the west and east end of the bar, and if you think your luck increases with the amount of gin you consume, they have a lotto machine as well.
The bar staff are quite at home, most being long-timers. Especially the day folks. And you'll probably love them or be indifferent to them. Either way, they are typically attentive if you're sitting at the bar; if you decide to plant yourself outside on the perimeter, don't expect table service. It ain't happening.
Elmer's is one of those places where people hate to admit they like. Myself, being a dive-bar fan, find it to have a charm and a place that no other establishment in the area can touch.
Cheers.
OK, Yelp says this place is closed.....WRONG!
We went here after Rooney's for a couple drinks and it was very much open. Â It's a small, old fashioned dive bar.
The drinks were poured strong and the staff was friendly. Â If you want a simple bar with a juke box and pool table, this is the place. Â You get exactly what you expect.
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