Spearmint Rhino Gentlemen's Club

Never seen so many C-section scars in one night. Now I know why this place is so dark!

Are you freaking kidding me?! This is a gentlemen's club? Went there on Thursday for their military/student free admission night and so glad I did. We walk into this very dark building with no traditional neon and no one is at the front desk. I look around at this tiny place and I only see one girl laying down on a couch, not seductively mind you, and no one else is in the room besides 2 other dudes watching an EMPTY stage. Soon after, a guy in suit comes up, checks our IDs and off we go. Let me repeat, this place is TINY. You see everything right when you walk in except for a narrow hallway in the back meant for lap dances. Anyways, the stage is empty for more than 50% of the time and most of the girls are hiding in the dressing room or wherever. They do roll-call fairly often and that's the only time you're gonna see all the girls. Oh yea, some of the girls don't even get naked on stage unless someone is tipping them. I only found this out because I was horrified to the point that I had to ask the dancer why her clothes were still on at the end of the dance. I've been to maybe 8-10 different strip clubs and this has never been the case. How am I supposed to decide if I want a lap dance if I don't know what I'm getting into?

Tips: Go on their website and look at the daily specials. You can get free admission any day by texting a short code. Some days are 2-for-1 lap dances all night, but I went on a normal day and they still offered the 2-for-1 quite frequently.

If this is the best Santa Maria has to offer, you'd be much better off driving to Santa Barbara.

2 stars for friendly girls with almost no pressure.

If you're in Santa Maria and you're looking for a strip club then you've definitely come to the wrong place. Of course I was entertained, I mean what straight man doesn't like looking at naked women? The place was pretty small and way too dark inside. The only reason I went there was because me and a friend were really bored one night.