Monkey Bar & Grill

Lame bar fulla D Bags would be my review of this place.  I should mention that I haven't been to this bar since I was a student at Umass nearly ten years ago, but I hated this place back then and I'm sure it hasn't gotten cool in the interim.

Stumbled upon this restaurant after a long move-in day at UMass and following a very strong street recommendation from some random dude who looked like a local (probably the owner's brother!).  It wasn't until I was seated with my wife and 13 yr old son that I read other reviews here and it was too late to abandon ship. Oh well.  Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Service was very pleasant and attentive, although our waiter forgot our appetizer platter and just brought dinners, and had trouble getting our drink orders straight.  This aside, the food was very good and fresh.  I had the iron steak with gorgonzola, wife had the seafood risotto, and son had the "tour of italy" chicken parm (owner is from Naples).  Although I found my portion to be lacking in size (as with my starter salad), it was very tasty and well prepared.  Wife and son loved theirs.  My house salad with lemon vinegarette was extraordinary.  I am already looking for a lemon vinegarette recipe.

Happy enough to have made a reservation for a sweet window booth for the entire family when we return for Family Weekend in Oct.

Net net....good chow, nice atmosphere although I HATE seeing TVs (over bar) when I dine, and a diverse menu for all palates.  Wish I had some rawbar and time to have dessert.  And I'm sure all would have improved if I didn't have to pass on more vino due to a impending drive home to eastern MA.

After I sat down on the patio, for lunch, my friend and I became the object of affection for a couple of flies. It proved to be a dangerous omen, indeed.

This place is awful. I came here for lunch, which is really, really easy to do. I mean, really easy. You have to try really hard to fuck up lunch. Sandwiches. C'mon.

I got a Cajun Chicken sandwich, I think I added cheese and bacon. Not sure what he got. Fries. Nothing impressive. Still tasted like Sysco packaging. They were Burger King style fries, which I have never been a fan of. The chicken tasted like it was boiled or par cooked then microwaved or something. Oh, and the food took forever. His was bad, and we didn't finish, despite still being hungry. It was on par with food from the DC on campus in terms of quality.

Now, the menu looks like this place should be great, but I think it's all done to be cheap and profitable and look nice so people bring their parents to eat here. Faux fine dining. Worse than Friendly's. Honestly. That Mahi Mahi has to be frozen. I guarantee it. Maybe it's like a nightclub/Red Lobster hybrid. I don't know. I don't understand.

As for the nightclub? Well, if you are looking to roofie / get roofied, I don't think you could pick a better spot than the basement of a frat (which, if nothing else, would be much cheaper). I just imagine people bumping lines in the bathroom, but maybe that's a good thing. They get away with running a shoddy place because they have a prime spot make plenty of money and people just wanna grind. Straight up. They let in underage girls (this is a fact). I feel bad for the people standing in line outside that place; they just don't know any better. As such, it's a LOCAL HOTSPOT. I just hope the drinks are boozy.