Smiley's Schooner Saloon & Hotel

Is there a less welcoming town than Bolinas?  They take the sign down as soon as it goes up, so tourists can't find it.  Luckily we're from the Bay Area, so we were not deterred in finding our destination after a good hike.  The saloon has a good selection of beers on tap, and a fun atmosphere.  The locals aren't friendly, but we were a big group of people, so it was not a big deal.

Smiley's is a place where magic happens if you are the right person and it is the right time.  The magic is that you never know when that time will be, you just have to trust and be there.  Like the night I met my husband on a barstool while my sister and I were in town for the Bolinas Freebox Fashion Show and he was in town for his brother's wedding.  Or the time that my sister made a bed out of three bar stools and a surfer dude noticed that she needed a  proper headrest and kindly volunteered his own head as support whilst others drank tequila shots out of her belly button.  Or karaoke night when the only people not singing along to Footloose were up on the bar dancing to it.  Or the cozy winter night when the power went out while I had the flu and Jesse the bartender brought me hot coco while we all waited out a storm.  The place is magic, you just have to be there when the stars align.

I've been meaning to write a bad review of this place for a while now.

The room cost over $100 per night (I forget the exact number), and it was your basic tiny cabin-motel type room with no TV, early 90's furniture, cheap and tiny shower setup.  It's fine to have quaint (i.e., shitty,) room, if you charge a fair price for it. This was not a fair price for the quality offered.

At some point during the night the power went off because a big tree fell on a power line. Someone at the hotel proceeded to attempt to start a generator 20 ft from our window for HOURS. Started trying to get the generator going at midnight, kept going past 3AM.

So for $100-$130, we got a shitty room and no sleep. Awesome.

When we brought it up to them the next day, they said "what were we supposed to do? Let all the food in the fridges perish?" No, certainly not. But if you are going to rape your customers' sleep, don't charge them full price for the night. The hotel wouldn't even budge on dropping some of rental price.

This place is a BAD value, and completely uncompromising if you have a bad experience. Don't stay here.