Is there a less welcoming town than Bolinas? Â They take the sign down as soon as it goes up, so tourists can't find it. Â Luckily we're from the Bay Area, so we were not deterred in finding our destination after a good hike. Â The saloon has a good selection of beers on tap, and a fun atmosphere. Â The locals aren't friendly, but we were a big group of people, so it was not a big deal.
Review Source:Smiley's is a place where magic happens if you are the right person and it is the right time.  The magic is that you never know when that time will be, you just have to trust and be there.  Like the night I met my husband on a barstool while my sister and I were in town for the Bolinas Freebox Fashion Show and he was in town for his brother's wedding.  Or the time that my sister made a bed out of three bar stools and a surfer dude noticed that she needed a  proper headrest and kindly volunteered his own head as support whilst others drank tequila shots out of her belly button.  Or karaoke night when the only people not singing along to Footloose were up on the bar dancing to it.  Or the cozy winter night when the power went out while I had the flu and Jesse the bartender brought me hot coco while we all waited out a storm.  The place is magic, you just have to be there when the stars align.
Review Source:I've been meaning to write a bad review of this place for a while now.
The room cost over $100 per night (I forget the exact number), and it was your basic tiny cabin-motel type room with no TV, early 90's furniture, cheap and tiny shower setup. Â It's fine to have quaint (i.e., shitty,) room, if you charge a fair price for it. This was not a fair price for the quality offered.
At some point during the night the power went off because a big tree fell on a power line. Someone at the hotel proceeded to attempt to start a generator 20 ft from our window for HOURS. Started trying to get the generator going at midnight, kept going past 3AM.
So for $100-$130, we got a shitty room and no sleep. Awesome.
When we brought it up to them the next day, they said "what were we supposed to do? Let all the food in the fridges perish?" No, certainly not. But if you are going to rape your customers' sleep, don't charge them full price for the night. The hotel wouldn't even budge on dropping some of rental price.
This place is a BAD value, and completely uncompromising if you have a bad experience. Don't stay here.
great dive bar with pool and internet jukebox. the best thing about this bar is the people that frequent it. good prices, hotel upstairs and bolinas beach just down either road. Don't stay too long though, down town bolinas is built on an indian burial ground, which creates a vortex that drives longtime residents and bar regulars completely bonkers. Or thats what they say.
jm
Straight out of the Twilight Zone, Smiley's was an entertaining night out while I was staying in Stinson Beach. Â Before I arrived I called and talked to a guy that was nice enough. Â He told me how to get there but I didn't think to write it down. Â When shopping around Stinson Beach I spoke to a lady who told me that Bolinas people don't like outsiders so they took down all the signs to get there so she was nice enough to draw me a map with markings rather than stating street signs. Â Driving at 7pm was eventfully fun with the high beams and radio blaring. Â We made it after a few u-turns and quick stops. Â I felt like a total outsider, which I was, walking in. Â Remembering the name of the guy who I talked to on the phone made my transition from outsider to a visitor smoother. Â I ordered a whiskey on the rocks and left my credit card. Â The music was via jukebox with a great selection. Â I put my name up on the chalk board and began to play pool. Â Being a woman, I think my skills were a slight shock but there were some good players and I won by luck half the time. Â
I played one 'Indian' like fellow, who after winning asked me to buy him a drink. Â Ok, I said but felt that wasn't very gentleman like. Â There were two hot guys that apparently worked there but where off. Â They were aloof and it was difficult to penetrate a friendly interaction from either of them. Â
The coolest guy, besides the bartender, was a gentleman in a pink Ralph Lauren collared shirt drinking a glass of white wine who was so wonderfully fun. Â My friend danced the night away with him and I just sat back and enjoyed the extra company. Â I eventually got pushed off the pool table, by a young boy who was super nice, and the night was over. Â
Oh, I almost forgot to mention that the night I went was Reggae Night. Â We got there early so it was free until the DJ started playing. Â I think my friend and I were the only ones who were made to pay a 'cover' charge. Â Guess we weren't cool enough or just really desperate to drink and have a good time in a tiny town in the Twilight Zone and graciously paid the fee.
Bolinas is my favorite weekend destination for surfing, beach sitting, and eating & drinking.
I like Smileys motel. Suits my needs well. Â Nothing fancy, cheap, and is downtown in the heart of all the freaks and fuck-ups.
I must say last weekend was my least favorite Smiley's experience. Â There was just bad ju-ju in the air. Â Not sure what went down, but I think someone got fired and replaced. Â I gathered this by the public conversation I overheard: Â F-this, and F-them, and I'll sue them...etc.
A new bartender has started and he sucks. Â He's out of his league working at this bar. Â Karma will catch-up to him and his sharp-pointed opinions.
I had to wait at the bar for what seemed like 15 minutes for the bartender to finish his smoke and conversation, which i get, its Bolinas, but it was pretty apparent he just didn't care, and liked watching me squirm while waiting for his lazy ass.
I'll alway go, b/c I don't have a choice. It's the only bar. Â But I hope the vibe cleans up, because this place oozes character and is everything I want in a dive bar.
GREAT HOTEL!!! It's not like you really have another choice- this is the only hotel in Bolinas. We had a perfect miniature vacation here, 2 nights over the weekend. It's a short walk to the beach, close to hiking trails, there's an excellent restaurant across the street, and a magical garden and patio at your door.
Review Source:When I go to a bar and order a beer, I expect a bit of ceremony, I like the drawing of the pint, the frosted glass (if appropriate) and the flourish  of a towel that wipes off the last little dribble of beer foam. The experience helps justify spending the money on beer.
When I go to a bar, order a beer, and have a bottle unceremoniously handed to me, it's a bit of a let down. At least I like to have the option of a glass, Â beer is just better in a glass.
Smiley's doesn't have taps, and I think they have five pint glasses that just sit there collecting dust.
I'm sure if I lived in Bolinas, this bar would occupy a lot of my time, but that's largely on account of it being the only bar in town.
I think what I'm trying to get at, while I don't like doilies, I at least like a coaster.
A very down-to-Earth bar in a town that arguably has more dogs than people in it. They have no beer on tap, but the bottle selection is pretty good. Locals, imports, etc. Don't ask for anything too fancy cuz you won't get it here, and that's OK. It's Bolinas, go with it. There's food, but again, don't expect anything fancy. Hot wings, hot dogs, cheeseburgers, fries, etc.
Review Source:Time stood still in this little town! I LOVE IT!
Great place to relax and enjoy a nice frosty beverage talking to locals and visitors alike...just don't bother asking for a "foo-foo" drink, the bartender might send you back the big-city for that!
If you like real people and and down to earth place you'll like this place!
Enjoy!
We went to Bolinas on a lark after reading about it in  Kerouac and Brautigan and were immediately attracted to this shiny beacon of  diveyness. The drinks are cheap, everyone has a dog and the place exudes a chill vibe. Truly the whole town must be the most relaxed place in America.  If you can find it.
Review Source:The rooms have no TV. Â That's GREAT! Â You're supposed to be outside anyway & that's their point. Â The Saloon was so much fun and the staff is too. Â Awesome plan: Go to Bolinas - The Beach - Eat at the restaurant across the street from Smiley's - get a drink at Smiley's - take a nap at Smiley's - wake up when you hear the music start - dance your butt off at Smiley's - stumble to back to bed - wake up and get breakfast at the restaurant across the street - Rinse & Repeat!
Review Source:This place definitely was interesting. Â If I broke my rating down, it would be 5 stars for food (in context- I wasn't expecting anything this decent/ cheap) and 3 for atmosphere. Â Don't get me wrong, everybody we interacted with was super nice, but something didn't just quite click. Â Maybe it was the woman who sat down beside us, and just had the look of somebody who hadn't been treated quite right by life, or maybe it was the three drunk surfers who came in (and one of whom, unless I am over thinking what happened, tried to cop a feel on me. Â Not sure if he thought I was a girl from behind, or if he was queer, but just saying.) Â but we weren't feeling the most secure in the place. Â In all fairness though, we will certainly be back the next time we are in Bolinas. Â We just might take the food to go.
Review Source:There are people who come to Bolinas for a reason -- I'd wager there are more than a few surfers in this group.
But I come to Bolinas for no reason. At least none that I can use that would effectively explain my willingness to take what is a reasonably long drive to come to a place where I do nothing. I could tell you that the light is different here, or maybe that my brain slows down while I watch the harbor seals, or the stray dogs shamble around the main street. But none of it really fits.
The one solid fact I can tell you of why I come here is that Smiley's sells corn dogs. And they are really, really good.
Stayed in the hotel. Â I found it sweet, but if you are a light sleeper, this place isn't for you, I could hear the people on the other side of the walls. Â Yet I enjoyed that there was not a TV in the room, or a phone, or a radio. Â Pure peace and quit.
My boyfriend performed in the band and it was a really nice show. Â The bartender showed her bra while some other band was up. Â Crazy! Â I liked how the place is super old. Â But the locals are kind of scary and crusty looking. Â The people really don't want you to come here as a tourist, they stare at you.
For a town that hides their city signs and watches the tourists drive through as if they were in some horror movie ready to pounce on you...Smiley's is one of the better bars I have been to. Â Clean, nice wood floors, and bar. Â The bartender was extremely friendly and created our bloody mary's like they were a piece of art. Â She did not disappoint! Â $5 too, which is a steal from the clamatto crap you sometimes get in the city. Â Great music playing and everyone coming in and out were friendly and just happy as can be. Â Give it up for the Bolinas peeps...no wonder they hide their signs and want to be left alone. Â It's a beautiful hidden treasure.
Review Source:If you can find the mythical town of Bolinas, you must have a drink or a burger and fries at SMILEY'S. Â
If you get too smashed you can get a room for the night and find your way back to civilization in the morning. This place is Historic to say the least. Go west young friends, Go West!
This place makes me smile.
It is an ooold, old place in this one horse-town and I love it. If only it weren't so very far from civilization, I would make this my watering hole. It's a dirty old man bar, and you KNOW how I feel about those!
The staff are totally cool and fun. They know you ain't from here, but they'll tolerate you anyway, shit you're paying, right?
We came out after a looong night of drankin and decided to start right up again, it WAS after 12 afterall. Great selection, yes even thought they are out in the boonies and my favorite kind of atmosphere.
If you have enough to in the ol' system, you can pretend you're in a spaghetti western. I'll be Katie the Kid, be sharp - I'm good with the six shooter!
What a treat to have found the only bar in an unmarked town (locals tear down the signs, trying to keep tourists out).
I think just about everyone in the joint stopped what they were doing momentarily to turn around and look when we walked in (we were quite LITERALLY the only non-locals there).
But we were treated no differently than anyone else, and our new friend Stephan (1 of the locals who we wound up talking with for a while) even commended us for fitting in so well, given that we don't *really* fit in...
Anyhow, the wide selection of beer was cold (all bottled; no tap). And the bar full (the locals all seem to order a shot (or 2) with their beer).
They also serve hot dogs and fries if you're hungry, though we skipped that and just took in the sights and sounds - wonderfully surreal, fascinating people watching and musical entertainment.
This place is one that words can't really describe - you just have to experience it for yourself. I will remember this place fondly for a long, long time to come. :)
oldest, continually serving drinking establishment in cali. yeah, i got drunk here.
dont expect the freaking ritz carlton, this is bolinas. they DONT want us tourist kinds fucking things up around here. shit, they tear down the street signs pointing out this sleepy town off highway 1.
I love Bolinas. And Smiley's Saloon is a gem. But the "& Hotel" was the worst night of non-sleep I've ever had.
(Let me make one thing clear: Smiley's bar is amazing. Great live music and interesting locals. This review is just for the hotel portion)
For $100, you get a dingy, smelly room. The only amenity is the mold. But that alone isn't the killer. After all, you're in Bolinas to be outside and enjoy the funky little town -- Â not to sit in your hotel room.
But here is the problem. You paid $100 for a place where you can sleep for 5-7 hours. And the night I stayed there, that just wasn't happening.
My Friday night stay was ruined by obnoxiously loud people in the other rooms. And since there is no hotel staff on premise, I was stuck with little or no options.
A large group of mostly loud, drunk dudes were staying in the surrounding rooms. They screamed obscenities until after dawn -- mostly about what they wanted to do to women. The one woman I heard was drunk too, ranting on and on about her baby daddy.
Apparently 'Baby Daddy' is a real deadbeat who might kill her. (Although sometime near dawn she started suggesting that she might kill him.)
I can also tell you that she loves asking rhetorical questions like, "Is he an abusive bastard? Yes, he is." "Did I want to move on with my life? Yes, I did, but..." Her dude friends kept shouting the same advice: "Lawyer UP!! Lawyer UP and sue his ass!!!"
At 3:37 a.m. she finally said something that almost made the whole night of excruciating non-sleep worth it. She revealed what finally made her leave "Baby Daddy" in 2000. It was Nelly Furtatdo. Our heroine had been driving in her car, lamenting her situation, when Furtatdo's "I'm like a bird" played on the radio. Apparently she realized that she too was "like a bird" and needed to just fly away. I'm not sure if it was the exhaustion, or the tension in my body finally releasing, but I literally laughed so hard that for like 5 minutes I had tears rolling down my face. Until then, I had only thought of Furtatdo as a pop singer, and not a life changing experience. Unfortunately, after the tears dried, the feeling of hell returned.
If you are looking for a cheap place to stay in Bolinas, I suggest camping out, or sleeping in your car. It would be a lot quieter, and you'd save $100.
this place is the only bar in town. the only bar in stinson or bolinas really. dont drive drunk, stay the night. there's always a room avail or a local who'll wanta bang ya. Â people call the locals all kinds of things like "mean and unfriendly," (both true) Â but are also nice and open minded just not visible from the surface.
defenses aside, go here, dance, drink, be merry and dont trip off the glares, its a long way to civilization.
so make nice or bolt kook
Love this bar! We typically have to grab a cold one here after a day on the water or hiking. The record stops when you walk in, as if they know you are totally not from Bolinas. There's always a haggard hobo, hippy and or crusty old man staring at you while you order a beer. Makes me feel right at home.
Review Source:My friends and I love Bolinas and decided to get away from college for a weekend and stayed there. Â It was cute but musty as hell inside. Â If you leave the door open it becomes a breeding ground for mosquitos (luckily we had a mosquito eater living with us during the weekend to eat those critters). Â We had lots of fun and its close to everything (which is not hard to do in Bolinas). Â We stayed in room 1!
Review Source:Ahh, Smiley's. My roomies and I spent a weekend in one of their rooms. $100 bucks a night and the bathroom light bulb was missing. No, not burned out, actually gone. The room was unbelievably stuffy and when we opened the window these mutant mosquitoes flew into the room and attacked us for the rest of the evening. They're one of two hotels in Bolinas, this place is cheaper.
Review Source:Two of my friends came to visit from the east coast. I thought it would be fun to take them up to Bolinas for a night. So I booked us a room at Smiley's. They hate me.
The rooms are a lot better than you'd probably expect. They're clean and cute. My friends, however, felt it necessary for the 3 of us to down 2 bottles of wine before going out to dinner. So we did... in the room. And then we went to dinner across the street and had a couple more bottles of wine.
And then we came back to Smiley's. My one friend is a model, the other is a semi-pro surfer who is also gorgeous. I'm pretty sure we were the only 3 girls in the bar. There was a Johnny Cash cover band playing that night and they were great. We danced and danced and danced and were handed drinks left and right - and cigarettes. And maybe some funny cigarettes too (it IS Bolinas, after all). We were like celebrities.
The next day, one of my friends said "You know, we could've shit our pants last night and still gotten laid." We did neither, but she was right.
Great place, cheap drinks, interesting crowd.
They might shoot me for writing this review. Â I have to hurry...
There are no signs to get there, so you may not get in. Â And worse than never getting in, well, you just may never get out...
It's my own personal belief that Hotel California was written about Smiley's. Â But, you know... no dark desert highway, cool wind, warm smell of colitas, and all that other jazz -- but go with it...
It's a trip. Â In more ways than one.
I too have experienced the difficulty of finding a place the locals don't want you to find. Â We went to hear a friend's band (Superpants) perform at Smiley's (established 1851) and found the adventure worth the drive. Â The sound quality was decent and the dancing was fun. Â My most vivid memory is of "sweaty vest man" (as we dubbed him), who brought his funky B.O. to the mix. Â Suddenly the dance floor was empty and someone was lighting incense in an effort to prevent nausea. Â Dude, wear a shirt and some deodorant.
Review Source:
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