Wicked Lesters

short version:
DO NOT GO TO THIS BAR. the only good thing about this place is the nice new pool tables and the music. the owner is insane and a total  bitch. no wonder they're going broke! you can't even tell they're open, there is no sign up and no cars in the parking lot. go figure.

long version:
if you are someone who wears your hat backwards, don't bother walking into this place. Leslie, the owner/bartender will promptly tell you to turn it forward. should you disobey, her "thug" (possibly her husband but i wasn't sure) will come over and whisper something in your ear that will make you turn that brim back to it's forward facing position. then Leslie will dance around behind the bar yelling at the top of her lungs that this is HER bar and if you don't like it you can go fuck yourself! nice....

if you don't want to see an old skanky woman (the owner) hike up her dress, pull down her underware and take a piss in front of you, do NOT ask her where the auto-sensor light switch is located in the bathroom. if you absolutely can't find it, go outside in the bushes or at least wait until the bathroom is finished being remodeled and the stalls have been put up.

like to pick out your own pool stick? too bad. the cues are kept behind the bar. you actually have to ask for one, reminiscent of checking out a rubber ball in grade school so you and your friend can play two-square at recess.

like to drink? good luck placing an order while Leslie is working. she spends half her time smoking on the patio and the other half on the dance floor. if you do finally find her, she'll probably be screaming at how this is her bar and if you don't like it you can go fuck yourself. she's great at customer service.

my advice? stay clear or this place. she told me they spent over $1.5 million remodeling it. it's nice but not THAT nice. the floor is metal, the bar is metal, the furniture is metal, but some of it, like the velvet covered stools, are just cheesy. she controls the juke box from a remote behind the bar so make sure you play music SHE likes or she will forward the song you just paid $1 to hear.

the best part about this place? Leslie is so out of it that she didn't charge me for one of my drinks. we couldn't figure out if she was on drugs, drunk or just insane.

after enduring all we could, we went across the street to the Windjammer, had a real drink and played some Keno. that is where you will find me from now on.

UPDATE: 7/1/08: a little over a week ago i happened to drive by Wicked Lesters, which doesn't even have a sign indicating what they are or their name, and couldn't help but laugh at the two cars parked our front, no doubt the crazy owner and her one-man brute-squad. anyway, i noticed a sign that said something about the bar or club being open and under that it said 'business for sale'. i know it might sound mean but i couldn't help but snicker. :)