I have heard of the place and even walked past the one in San Diego, I've been wanting to go for years. Finally ventured into the one in San Antonio. I had a great time. The server Mikey was hilarious! Kept us laughing...Food was just alright nothing special, the drinks were good. I didn't realize that the drink I ordered was like 40oz so I of course left a little buzzed haha. I would come to a dicks again.
Review Source:We had a U.S. Airman with us who recently graduated from AFBMT at Lackland AFB. Â It was her last day out before shipping out to tech school. Â We were having a family dinner and from the patio, you cannot tell what this place is all about, nor did the hostess tell us. Â It's overpriced bar food with rude service. Â The servers are literally dicks and they expect you to tip them after they tell you "good luck finding the ladies room." Â I would not recommend this place. Â It's taking up prime real estate at the Riverwalk. Â What a horrible concept! Â I'd rather eat at the Waffle House! Â We should've gone to Ritas on the River.
Review Source:Well, the name pretty much says it all. The waiters are dicks, the place is super loud and the food is just a little above average. You gotta go for the experience tho, it IS pretty entertaining to watch cocky soldiers get put in their place with obnoxious hand-lettered hats & snarky comments from the servers. It's pretty much a touristy place, no matter what location, but you get what you come for, which for some can be a sucker punch to the ego.
Review Source:I understand the concept of Dick's. The we don't give a f*** attitude mixed with some crude, rude humor to give you a different restaurant experience. Well my friend's thought that would be perfect for us one night as we were celebrating my girlfriend's last fling before the ring.
We ended up having a "tamer" waitress. More seemed like the hate was not directed towards us and more at her job which amused me. I liked that. They hand you out hats with offensive comments on them. I liked that part.
I did however want to get a drink and no one was taking my order. I went up to the bar (which I guess you aren't supposed to do) and got majorly yelled at. I guess she was trying to keep up the pretenses of where I was at, but bitch please do not deny me a freaking drink. Oh and yes she used the F word with me. Fine. I am a big girl, I can handle that, but I really wonder what kind of training these people get for what they can and cannot say/do. The sexual harassment in the work place talk must be a joke there.
Okay one star because when I finally did get my drink I swear there was no alcohol in it. I tasted all of my friends and I swear there was none in theirs too. And they are MAJORLY overpriced.
Must be nice and brings in the money to get people "drunk" off the placebo effect. It kinda was a downer for the group. Food is overpriced and not that great.
Oh and you will see kids there. I wouldn't bring my kid there, but whatev.
i know this place is suppose to be bad service, but honestly ive had alot worse at places that dont pride on bad service, it was kinda lame honestly, could be alot more fun, i know if i worked there i would love my job, i am a waitress also downtown and if i worked at dicks i think it would be a blast and people there just didnt seem to happy about their job....idk...it could be alot funner, girls that worked there were a bit slutty...not attractive this is dicks not hooters...OH AND THE FOOD ISNT THAT GREAT I JUST GOT FRIED PICKLES, THE DICKS IN SAN DEIGO IS WAY BETTER! ALOT MORE FUN AND MORE LAUGHTER. WONT COME BACK TO THIS ONE.
Review Source:Food food was nothing special and overpriced, the atmosphere just okay, the drinks EXTREMELY overpriced. We paid just under $50.00 for three mixed drinks, and I am still skeptical that there was ANY liquor in them at all...maybe this is part of the "rude charm" atmosphere and the joke was on us? It was the first time we had been there, and I am not sure they 'got it right' (as others have indicated)...will NOT even bother to give this chain another try in another city...ever.
Review Source:A couple of my boyfriends friends and I drove from Killeen to San Antonio  mainly for the Riverwalk experience. The Reiverwalk was awesome but being that it was Saint Patricks weekend it was over crowded. A lot of people, a lot of kids and a lot of drinkers.
We decided to go to Dicks. Boy oh boy was that an experience. I have heard of the place before and its exactly how it sounds. You have napkins thrown, silverware thrown on the table and obviously the servers are complete dicks. Its definitly and experience and could probably be better if it was less crowded being that it was close to major hoilday.
The food was decent, the drinks ok but other than that very much over priced. I have never spent that much money for two people to eat before ever. My boyfriends wasn't that impressed either with the place. We think it might be better if we try to it just the two of us without friends.....Maybe another time.
I really wanted to go in here after walking by a few times and seeing the people in the silly hats on the patio.  I wasn't expecting much for the food, but it was actually tasty.  We went for lunch and had the Buffalo Chicken Salad and the mushroom/Swiss burger.  Good stuff.  The atmosphere is fun and the location is great  - what's not to like.
Review Source:Yea it's fun and entertaining to come here with friends or a date because of how the servers are dick's but besides that it's nothing great. Food is overpriced and grosse, its way too packed in the restaurant and didnt feel very comfortable. I did get some great laughs with my girl though, so maybe go experience at least once for yourself
Review Source:Sick of servers being nice to you? Â Tired of them trying to get a tip just by telling you their name and trying to be your friend? Â Then you definitely need to check out Dick's Last Resort! Â You won't be bothered with any niceties that annoy you so much at other restaurants. Â These servers are a-holes!
Of course, it's on purpose. Â They will put silly paper hats on you with insults written on them and practically tell you to get bent if you ask for something, but it's all in good fun. Â
Now for the food, it's just okay. Nothing you'd say, "I've got to do get a ____ from Dick's", Â but you don't go for the food. Â You go to let off steam, be rude to the staff in response to their sarcastic remarks, and just laugh, and get a decent meal. Â Everyone should try it at least once. Â Well, almost everyone. Â Don't go unless you can laugh at yourself. Â You'll be miserable. Â
My friends and I have had some good times here. Â Four stars.
Three friends and I drove down from Austin to experience Dick's. That's what it is - an experience. From adult bibs, silly paper hats and hundreds of flying napkins to really good food, a fun-filled time was had by all.
We fully intend to return for more.
Too many people don't seem to understand Dick's - that they act like total dicks. But if you go in there expecting it, you can turn it into a night of live, interactive entertainment. Not quite dinner theater, but just learn to go with the flow and maybe, just maybe, you'll make friends with your waiter/waitress.
This place is hilarious. I mean it's definitely important to go in with the right attitude. You pretty much need to know that it's a place where waiters are paid to be terrible to you. I'd actually suggest that you go with a large party because the waiters seem to get a bigger kick out of larger parties. One of the waiters tied a bunch of balloons on the girl's hair rather than giving her the hats.
Menu is definitely sparse and it's bar food so it's alright. I got the "Chicken Fryd Chicken" for dinner. Standard chicken with a thick gravy sauce and cut up string beans. Chicken is alright. Nothing special.
Other people in my party got Buffalo Wings, Crabcakes, and Fish N Chips--for the most part, they all said that it was alright.
I mean you basically go to Dick's for the humor more than the food. It's definitely ridiculously expensive and it almost feels ironic to tip them at the end, but it's a good place to go if you've got people with a good sense of humor.
Hit and Miss place. If this is your first time or 20th...it's hit and miss. Now the food...it's fried...so it's so so...
the service is really dependant on who you get and what mood they are in. The last two times we got unlucky and were served by one of their vets (he was not in a good mood) it was boaring..no hats...no throwing..no jokes...he just wanted to go home.
Now here is a good time...before your party arrives...walk in and look to see which table is rocking..and ask to be served by that waiter...now that might start them messing with you..but it's worth the aggravation for a better experience.
It's very refreshing to drop f-bombs every 3rd syllable at the servers. Especially after their bad service- it takes about 10 minutes for your draft beer to make it to your table, even though there are only 3 tables of people in the restaurant.
Beer is moderately priced. I had fried pickle chips and chicken tenders for appetizers. Â Pickle chips are EXCELLENT! chicken fingers, on the other hand, is the most disgusting, tiny, rubbery pieces of fake meat I have ever tasted in my life..
If you want to blow off some steam and mouth off to a stranger, make a quick pit stop here. But I wouldn't suggest staying for a decent meal.
Some D-bag on the trip with us wanted to go to this place. Â We went inside to find a deafening band playing and some gross kid screaming and throwing toilet paper around. Â How awful. Â
So... we went outside to eat. Â We ordered insanely expensive food which was gross. Â The drinks were okay. Â The waiters think they're clever or funny, but that is not so. Â
In the end, the D-bag who insisted that we go there had been blacked out the entire time and didn't remember going anyway. Â How annoying. Â Luckily, we had made him pay for the whole thing. Â What a turd.
Yeah, I will never ever go to this restaurant again ever. Â Gross.
A co-worker brought me here. He said the food was good and the wise-ass staff was funny. Of course, I checked the reviews on <a href="http://Yelp.com">http://Yelp.com</a> first and thought it would be a good time.
Silly me...
After all that I was told and read about this place, I expected pandamonium, obnoxious banter, and a good time just like family used to make. Nope. Our waiter was not only bland he was M.I.A. most of the evening. My co-worker wanted desert, but after a 15-minute delay trying to locate our server, he said we could go elsewhere. I didn't even get a silly hat.
Now, the food...
Several of the Yelp comments said the food was bad. I had the ribs and wings order. The wings were typical "bar" wings. One half of the ribs were tender, falling-off-the-bone perfect. The other half was tougher than roof shingles. The other thing was the price. Six wings, a portion of six ribs, french fries, and a small serving of cole slaw was $16.99. The most expensive "bar food" I've ever ordered.
The nachos, on the other hand, were very dee-licious. I did not add the chicken. There's something wrong about chicken on nachos...
Plus was the live rock music. Minus was the leader singer played the flute. I had visions of Jethro Tull before they started playing. For a house band, they were pretty good. Sorry I don't know the band's name.
I might come back here for drinks. The prices are too high to have bar food...
LOVED it, had NO clue what the deal was with this place, the guy who saw us walking down the riverwalk was really nice, seated us... then the waiter came over. LMAO
He slapped some paper towels in front of us when he finally felt like coming over and warned us about the sarcasm. The service  wasn't awful, it's what you should expect from a restaurant where the employee's are paid to be a**holes to their
customers.
As far as the food, we had the crab balls and ordered wings, crispy. Both were delicious (I recommend BBQ) and the fries that came with the crab rocked.
If you're looking for polite, fast service... go to the Hard Rock across the river and ask for Kyle. If you're looking for a different and hilarious experience with good food, hit up Dick's. The only down side is it's a little pricey. *shrug*
They gave me a hat that said "I'm so tiny I pee on my balls"
Why wouldn't anyone enjoy that? Â I had fun. Â Only had the alligator bites mainly so I could say I've eaten alligator. Â
The other guy in my group got the meatballs or something and the waitress wanted him to tell her how he liked balls in his mouth. Â We cracked up. Â Food is probably not the best here but it's a fun experience.
oh man! what can you really say about this place?!
Ah you MUST and i mean MUST go in with a good attitude because here they get paid to be rude and talk down to you.
Its a really great place to go for a laugh, i love it. i been once when i was in san antonio and i don't regret going, they do get personal talking about your ethnicity and body and stuff but you have to take it as a joke
i Dont know what people really expect from a place called Dicks last Resort, but its basically in its title, they throw forks and your plates, but they are super funny(:
I would recommend to few people, because its not for everyone, just for people that are willing to take some low blows for fun and have a good laugh!
My writing style is different, but I'm going to write like a Dick's employee today: crass and offensive. Â Consider yourself warned.
The service s**ks but that's their trademark. Â It's the only visible way to distinguish themselves from the other restaurants on the River Walk, and it also distracts from their forgettable food. Â Basically, you're supposed to chew up your server's insults and spit them back out at him. Â
My friend, whom I'll call Jackie, thought the whole f***ing place was cute and giggled like a 13-year-old dumb a** at all the idiots around us wearing those d*** dunce caps (which you can read about in these other Yelp losers' reviews). Â I thought it was as pathetic as you are.
Enough about the lame-a** service. Â That may be intended to s**k, but the food isn't supposed to. Â Tastes like p***. Â Actually, slightly better than p***, just average, bland as s**t, and not enough to waste on cheap eats like this where you get mediocre food and a bunch of d***heads telling you off like you're yesterday's s**t or something. Â Nothing special. Â I'm glad Jackie liked this wretched place as much as she did because otherwise it would've been a complete waste and I would have given it one star instead.
If you like hostile employees, high prices, or have ever just wanted to tell the server how you REALLY feel about him (or the establishment or food, for that matter), this may be the place for you. Â But be prepared for the food to be as tasteless as the service.
Good thing their service is their signature because they'd be f***ed up the a** with no lube if it was their food. Â This place can go to h*** for all I care. Â In fact, Dick can go s**k itself.
Oh, and a side story about Jackie when she was 5 and at a pizza parlor with her parents:
Pizza parlor manager: Young lady, would you like a lollipop?
Jackie: Yeah!
Jackie's parents: Jackie, what do you say to the manager?
Jackie: (to her parents) I say thank-you. (to the manager) Thank you is polite, and f*** you is impolite.
This is the place where you don't have to be 5 to say f*** you to the waiter. Â I guess I picked the right friend to go with me.
This was a fun place for lunch. We heard about the embarrassing things the servers would do to you, so we opted to just sit outside so we can make a run for it if it gets really bad.
The server had on a cowboy hat, cutoff shorts rolled a bit too high to be considered masculine, and a beard that was 10" long and put in a braid. He said "ladies love it when rubbed against their thigh." I wondered if guys liked it too, but he never answered that question. He was actually nice, but probably because he needs the tip money.
We ordered beer and drinks, and the server made a long straw with multiple straws to connect the glasses. Drinks were okay, but it took a while to get them, as expected from their infamously terrible service.
We got alligator bites and chips and salsa to start off with. They were okay, the chips were too greasy. The food servers just plop the food just a few arms reaches away from us each time. For my meal, I had the Garbage burger, medium rare. It's a 1/2 pound burger with onions, cheese, chili, bacon, and some other good stuff with a side of basic fries. Free coleslaw comes with every order and it tastes like rubbery pickled cabbage with too much old mayonnaise.
It was my boyfriend's birthday and he got a pulled pork slider which was decent, but not spectacular. Our friends got some chicken and crab cakes; I didn't try but they didn't seem impressed. For dessert we ordered a massive brownie with an entire Hershey's bar melted on top, sprinkled with crumbled Heath bar bits, with two scoops of ice cream. That was amazing. In place of a traditional candle, it was a match strategically jammed into a match box and it was lit. The server got some of the crowd to sing "Happy Birthday, You Suck" to our table.
Overall, the food was okay, the service sucked, but we had fun anyways.
Yes. I went to a Dick's Last Resort. I was a tourist!!!
This is a true story of my experience at Dicks. I stopped in for a few beers with two cowboys. We sat at one of the outdoor tables as it was a beautiful cool night.
Waiter: (Slams menus on the table) Are you eating or drinking? What do you want?
Caroline: (blank stare)
Waiter: What do you want? This place is called Dicks. There's a reason why.
Caroline: I'll have xxxx beer (can't remember... my cowboy friend ordered it for me) and a water.
Waiter: (rolls his eyes)
A few minutes later, he brings by a few beers and a puts a cup on the table. He gets up and stands on the bench next to where I'm sitting and pours water from a pitcher into the cup. From the back, it looks like he is peeing into the cup.
He gives me a straw and says, "Think of me when you're drinking that water."
He then comes back a few minutes later and switches my straw for a black straw (he's African American), and says... "That's better."
Caroline: (In shock)
Cowboys: (laughing like twelve year olds)
Overall, this is a dirty place to get your drink on and get a little crazy. The menu is written on the chalkboard on the roof and the bathrooms are scary. The waiter continued to be obnoxious throughout the evening... was funny after a few beers.
It's all about the expectations, like I've said. Â Know that you're going to have a rude server but you can hammer right back at them. Â In fact, screwing with them about their rash, asking about their parents mating with livestock, things like that tends to get you BETTER service cause most everyone else is uptight and doesn't know how to handle it. Â
The food is nothing special, "Americana fried/greasy." Â Those bartenders know how to pour a drink though, damn. Â Don't order beer, get the mixed drinks. Â Had a good cover band playing and let some of the folks in the crowd come up and sing with them. Â Really fun time all around, Riverwalk is right there, good on ya mate.
FYI, the servers are going to pick out that one person at your table and strafe them relentlessly. Â If you aren't interested in being that person, close your mouth and be polite. Â And if you are that person, well, um, you probably shouldn't go. Â You'll just get your panties in a wad and piss off everyone around you and end up writing a 1-star review.
Came for a late dinner and drinks on a Friday night because it was the only thing pretty much opened except for Hard Rock and clubs. Having gone to the Dick's location in Dallas a couple of years ago, I knew what to expect. Sadly, I was anticipating a hat that never came. That was the highlight from my Dallas trip. Guess on a Friday night, the staff doesn't really make them. The rude song and dance routine really lasted only for the first 15 minutes we were there and then stopped because the waitress got swamped with tables. Wished they would told me that if you order a margarita that you get to keep the cool glass it comes in. Found that out when returning back to the hotel and chatting with friends who went earlier that day.
The food is basically over priced bar food. Eight buffalo wings for $8.99. My friend got a 8 piece shrimp basket with Dr. Pepper and paid $20. Seriously. I will say the food taste better at this location then the one in Dallas. As another Yelper stated this location is better then the Dallas one.
Just know that you are paying for the novelty of the restaurant rather then quality of food. Still the novelty wears off and your left say, WTF, did I just pay $$$ for this?
As warned by the hotel staff...do not go there unless you can take a joke. lol, I love joking around, but working for a very corporate company who bends over backwards for their clients...I'm used to treating others very well and expect it in return. I was asked by a group of San Antonio based friends to meet there on a Saturday afternoon.
I arrived and when I sat down the waiter asked me what I'll have, I responded with, ''may I have a Bud Light, please''? He then stared at me and pointed inside and said, ''you see that counter''? and I shook my head to say yes, and he said ''you can get it yourself''. and walked away.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but smart ass remarks are funny, when twisting words around, and poking/making fun, all while STILL doing your job. I laughed and just took my seat and thought to myself, I aint paying for this, lol..and just figured I'll sit and chat till we go to the next bar.
The waiter then walks by and literally tossed this tin of ice and a bud light sitting in it. It bounced a little as I sat there expecting it to fall on me, so I can complain..it didn't fall. lol, I didn't drink it, and the waiter apologized. I told him that I feel like he was a little over the top and tried too hard to be a dick and came off as a douche. ;)
He laughed. We called it quits. lol..
Maybe I didn't know how to take a joke..lol, or maybe he was just pushing it. Maybe I was just being a girl and overly sensitive, lol..or maybe that just isn't how a business should be run.
This was stop number two on a long night of pub crawling and I gotta say, it was a lot of fun.
Unfourtunately, I didnt eat here. I made the mistake of eating at a terrible resturant a little down the way. I should have eaten here, the food smelled amazing.
The drinks were a good value. I paid 6.50 for a 32 ounce of bud light.
I dont want to ruin this place too much for anyone, because the theme here is what makes this place so enjoyable. Dont go to this place if you dont have a sense of humor.
Our waiter was very cool and we had a lot of fun with him.
There was live music and although it was a little loud, the band was good and had a good choice in music.
I really enjoyed my time at Dicks.
With a name like this, I have no choice but to root for the place! At Dicks Last Resort (referred to herein as "DLR"), they are Nasty to the customers. Â That is the theme, the people are dicks! Â It is great. Â This is a great place to take your friend that only chooses men who crap on her. Â Don't tell her what the deal is. Â Wait till she is like wtf and where did you bring me and then go "SUPRISE! THIS IS YOUR LIFE!"
Feel like you're interested but this place is too far from you? Â Well, you are in luck! Â At bars and clubs across the country about half hour before closing, every girl in the bar is basically DLR. Â True story! Â Get too it buddy...she's about to leave!
Dick's is located in San Antonio's Riverwalk and their concept is to be a dick to their customers! Fun stuff right? My answer: hecks yes!
I was actually a little disappointed though because our server was actually kind of nice. He didn't really do anything except give up some lip for the first 10 minutes or so and then he became nice. Guess he was having a good day? haha, I know, bad joke.
The food there is mediocre. I'd say that coming to Dick's is more for the experience than their food. Â I ordered the bourbon glazed salmon and it came out on a wooden chopping board. Â Very cute, in my opinion. Though it was glazed with bourbon sauce, I think it was still a little dry and overcooked. There was mashed potatoes with my dish as well, and it was a little too "mashed". I like my potatoes with a little more texture.
During our meal, the bartender behind us kept throwing ice at us and we had random servers throw napkins at us. Also, there are hats that they randomly place on their patrons. Â Words like "dunce" or "I'm special" are written on them.
Fun place to go just to experience the opposite of what people would normally expect at a restaurant! They also have a little store with shirts, caps, and all sorts of souvenirs. I bought a shot glass!
We had an ice-throwing fight with our waiter...need I say more.
Ohhhh ok I will. The concept is for everyone who works there to be dicks to their patrons. If you've ever been a server/bartender etc. this is a great joint for you. They actually say everything you've always wanted to say. "Can't you just stack the plates, you think I want to touch your dirty cutlery any more than I have to? and Do you think I like running back to the kitchen multiple times to get you ketchup, napkins, an extra plate, this and that sauce. No. Ask for everything at once if you must ask." Sound familiar? Yeah. I could so work here.
The food itself, eh. It's alright. But don't come for the food, come for the fun!
Did not know that Dick 's was a theme restaurant where the theme was everyone was gonna be a "DICK" to you! Â BF took me here, he knew about the whole concept deal...we stood by the front door for a few minutes and the guy yelled something from across the restaurant, I could barely make out what he was saying but the BF heard it... I thought how rude, but shrugged it off.. We get to our table and I hear the waitress taking and they are just being sarcastic as hell... I'm like dang talk about service in San Antonio... totally sucks!!!!
Finally the BF, decides to fill me in on the whole concept thing, cause he sees my strange looking smile/smirk...
In any case I got a laugh out of it! Like the hats they make for the guest! Â You will have to go to see what I'm talking about! Food was decent and tasty!
It's worth a visit to Dick's Last Resort when you're in San Antonio, doing the Riverwalk thing with some friends, and on the way to full-on inebriation.
But DO NOT go to Dick's if you don't have a sense of humor or if anyone in your dining party lacks a sense of humor or is generally tightly wound.
I went with a friend who became pretty upset, not realizing the whole premise of the place. We were asked... no, we were forced... to move from our initial place at a table to make room for some other people. I thought it was funny, but my friend looked like he might lunge at the waiter. Whoa there!
The food was the typical heart-attack fare so highly appreciated in South Texas. But they also have Jaegermister so I figured it would cancel out all the grease.
The waiter was beyond rude and even though I knew what we were getting into, I was on the edge of becoming slightly annoyed several times. I think they go a bit overboard. But that wouldn't stop me from taking friends there if we were on the Riverwalk having a good time. With any luck we'd get a waiter who wouldn't mind us razzing him, and hopefully won't spit in our food just for effect.
Jennifer and the rest are absolutely correct! It's all about atmosphere and generic food.
Hard Rock, Hooters and Bubba Gumps all have their schtick. DLR is political incorrectness to the extreme as atmosphere.
For food and better service, there's ten other places in San Antonio's Riverwalk to go to. But if you're tired of Mexican food, etc. and you don't mind spending a bit extra, go for it. At least you'll get an icebreaker to talk about something later. Or not.
I just wish that they would import this into the uppity SF Bay Area. It would be hilarious! Â People wouldn't know what to do with themselves. It would either do very well or bomb miserably. Not sure which!
I guess it depends on what your reviewing criteria are.
I review based on what the purpose of the restaurant is, and how well they fulfilled that purpose. Â Based on this criteria, it is difficult not to give Dick's a 5.
Service? Â Terrible. Â Just the way it's supposed to be. Â Probably the only place where I actually enjoy being verbally accosted. Â Penis hats, "blow job" shots, and a bathroom complete with a vending machine that dispenses French ticklers and walls covered with obscenities and propositions makes Dick's one of the most fun atmospheres in San Antonio.
The food? Â Leaves a little to be desired, but who comes to Dick's for the food? Â Typical bar food. Â Ribs, fried everything.
The Price? Â You're paying for the atmosphere. Â I guess the thing about Dick's is atmosphere, atmosphere, atmosphere.
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