Flying Saucer

Great place, great beer selection, great food, great prices. This was my first visit here and for 5 adults and one child, we paid less than $100 for food and drinks. The selection of beer was substantial. Definitely will be coming back again.

TL; DR:  A reprehensible establishment.  My least favorite bar in Columbia, and I've been to Bey's.  Out of town folks should avoid this place.  Everyone should avoid this place.  What follows ain't pretty.

I have regrettably been to the Columbia Flying Saucer over 40 times in the past several years, usually dragged along by friends, but not only has the experience been getting worse (if possible), this particular Flying Saucer shows zero signs of changing their ways, or even recognizing that their ways suck.

The 'atmosphere' is wretched.  A huge box of a room designed to pack 'em in, absurdly loud at peak times, with a few idiot boxes and a projector screen showing the latest sports game.  The bathroom has one sink and too few urinals, and is often out of the essentials.  The porch is often filled with the polo-shirt wearing, shorts + sandals, 'Cocks' hat smoking set.  If that's you, go for it.

The service, as called, could hardly be more incompetent if it tried.  Every day is training day.  I have frequently been given the obvious wrong beer, been charged for the wrong beer, been charged for beers I haven't ordered, been given a roll-eyes and the excuse of 'it's supposed to be dark, it's high gravity' when given the wrong beer, been given beer I haven't ordered, received beers that were a third foam in the glass or 2 inches low... I could go on.  Unless you sit at the bar, you must wait 5, 10, sometimes 15 minutes for a 21 year old server sporting the pandering mini-skirt / tight shirt combo and an IQ as low as her neckline to wander over. THEN you get to place your beer order and settle in for the 5, 10, 15 minute wait for it to appear.  Pray to Saint Gambrinus they get your order correct, or else you get to do it all over again.  They should tip ME for having to sit through this idiocy.

The credit card payment system at this Flying Saucer seems to go AWOL frequently.  The last time, my girlfriend was told to 'write your credit card number down on this sheet of paper and we'll charge it when it comes back up'.  Ah, no.  Absolutely not.  There's a thing called a Square reader, which is free, and which I recommend to any bar to have as a backup.

The beer, ahh yes.  The selection IS large, but, as all my exes will happily tell you, large does not equal impressive.  A good third to half the 80 taps are beers no craft lover would ever order unless desperate ("Why yes, I would love to pay $6 for a cheater pint of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale!") and while promising and even fine beers do appear from time to time, it's up to blind luck if they will be served properly, at the right temp, in the right glassware, through clean lines.  I regret to inform you that Flying Saucer does NOT clean their own beer lines, but leaves that up to the distributor of the beer.  Better hope the Allagash rep has been by recently...

The food is, as expected, severely mediocre and overpriced.  If you must venture here, hit up  5 Guys next door beforehand.  Or, ignore my advice and pay $7 for two frozen pretzels.  Your call.  

Really, it all comes down to the service.  If I'm going to pay a premium at a bar for a beer, I'm paying for the atmosphere, the service, and to be with my friends somewhere cooler than my own house.  Flying Saucer caters to the sexist, immature set who wouldn't know good service if they caught it in bed with their mother, and woe betide anyone expecting a fine beer bar experience who comes through these doors.

The last straw, for me, was when a minion at Flying Saucer posted a "Just Landed" beer post to their Facebook wall, alongside a picture of a fatal plane crash from Columbia. (Travis Barker)  This should tell you all you need to know about the level of class at Columbia Flying Saucer.  This is a blight on the craft beer scene and is desperately in need of new management, perspective, and attitude.  

But it's not ALL bad. They do have a cool chalkboard Yoda drawn above the taps.

beer beer beer! I wish we had one closer to me! I really liked this place!!! And their anti-pasto like plate is such a great idea!