Woodies

It's pretty much the spot if you want the B-boy gangster thing. I don't think any of the guys who go there understand what a double-breasted suit or a belt is. I was always told that you dress to impress, but not here. It's those crazy hair net things dudes wear, pants hanging off knees, ridiculous jewelry that was obviously bought at a swap meet and not a reputable jeweler (I mean cmon, if you have to wear flashy jewelry, wear REAL flashy jewelry, not the fake stuff).

So there ya go, it's like a bad rap video. The drinks are kinda expensive as well... and the worst worst worst part is you have to pay them money just to walk in the door. Like it's the Taj Mahal or something... cover charges = LAME

Guh.

Okay, so a few months ago, I moved back to Escondido from Oceanside.  Living there was great, but so expensive that I really couldn't afford to do anything fun.  An opportunity presented itself in Esco (read: dirt cheap rent in a not icky place), so here I am.

I've never been one to hang out in Esco any of the times that I've lived here, but one night while hanging out with a friend, we decided to maybe give it a chance.  After driving around for a bit, we realized that there really aren't many places to hang out that aren't completely scary.  

I remembered Joltin' Joe's from a few years back, so drove by and found that it had been changed to Woodies.  First, the name alone is disturbing.  I think they were going for Woody's, which makes sense, but Woodies just brings a whole different picture to mind.

It was a Tuesday night, so we expected it would be slow.  We soon found out that probably wasn't the reason.

We sat down at the bar, and the bartender walked over to us as he continued his obviously important text message (maybe he was solving the global warming situation).  He continued to not look at us as he asked what we wanted, and then as he walked away to pour my beer, he forgot what I asked for and had to come back.  At this point, he hadn't even acknowledged my friend or asked what he wanted at all.

He brought me my drink and finally realized there were TWO WHOLE CUSTOMERS and asked my friend what he'd like.  As he walked away again, a cockroach scurried across the bar.  Let me repeat that so it sinks in: A COCKROACH.  Double-yew-tee-eff.

My friend told the bartender, "Hey, a cockroach just ran across the bar."  He said, "Oh.  Gross."  Yeah, that's all.  Went back to texting.

I am grossed out at this point, but we have freshly poured beers, so we decide to finish them and leave immediately after.  We moved from the bar to a table in the hopes that it would be less roachy.

We tried to finish our beers fairly quickly so we could leave, and as I got close to the bottom of mine, some sort of... schmutz, I don't know what it was, started floating up from the bottom of my glass.  I guess I should have expected that after the cockroach tried to punk me for my drink.

I walked back to the bar, and apparently Dr. Text Message was now off work because a blonde girl was there instead.  I told her what had happened previously, made her look at the schmutz, and she says to me:

"Yeah, I wasn't here then, I just started right now."

As if I was going to mistake an amazonian blonde for a hispanic male text machine.

"Yes, I'm fully aware it wasn't you that was standing right here when this happened, but what I'm telling you is this is gross and we're not paying."

"Oh, okay."

There was no "I'm sorry", there was no sort of appropriate response at all.  I'm pretty sure the employees are as pissed off that they work there as I was about being there.

If you can still even consider giving this place a shot after reading this review, then I pray for your soul.