Bare Assets

From the moment I walked in and was greeted by Cozmo (door man) I knew I was going to have a great time.  It's a little off the beaten path (off Duval) but its worth it!! I ordered a drink and our bartender (Kelly) was amazing, she made us feel comfortable and was fast with our drink order. The stage dancing was very....Impressive and Interactive (trying to be a gentleman here) i was amazed. When we left Cozmo and Kelly even remembered our name (try to get that service at any other place in Key West). Ya have to give it a try! I will come back!

On our way to Duval street we happened upon this place. I thought it was going to be  a store for minimalists or y'know, maybe a nice restaurant that served simple down to earth food without all the fancy garnishes or table-scapes.....Yeah, that's it.

Little did I know that there would be beautiful ladies taking their turns on this is big shiny pole. Performing acrobatic tricks like Cirque du Soleil....but not. My buddy told me I should tip them a dollar for each of their feats of amazement. Well what do ya know? I happened to have many dollars in my pocket that night in anticipation of the parking meters and tipping the bartenders on our Duval Crawl....Yeah, that's it.

So there we were enjoying the show. I have to give a special shout out to "LiLi"! She was a cool chick who was very entertaining by dancing with everyone in the aisle. She made us feel welcome. Not sure how I feel about the pounding she gave me when I sat down by the stage though. She did this cartwheel-like maneuver and spun upside down like Chun Li from Street Fighter II and next thing I know I'm looking eye to "Whispering Eye", and then proceeded to pound my chest with her bodacious-baby-back-bottom. I mean, I don't understand the need for that. I wasn't choking on my food or anything, so I really didn't need the Heimlich maneuver performed. But it was a great performance non the least!

At one point, we were all hanging back away from the stage and one of my buddies, who is a bit....shy(we'll just call him Phil), was approached by (I think her name was) "Missy". She zeroed in on him like a an X-wing fighter to the Death Star! She was very attractive, polite and had a bubbly personality. It helped that she was barely clothed as well. I think the air conditioner malfunctioned at that point, 'cause my buddy had beads of sweat dripping off of his head. It was SO HOT and we were all sitting so close that we had to disperse and leave the two of them alone, thinking that perhaps a nice conversation with the pretty lady would help distract him from the heat. I think he may have felt a little uncomfortable in that high chair too, apparently he took his wallet out of his back pocket and stuffed it in his front pocket. He must have a "George Costanza" wallet because that thing  created a massive bulge.

So the other girls were all pretty cool. They would sit down with us and converse about important topics like pollution, world peace, Obama care, Justin Bieber. NOT! But hey, as far as Gentlemen's clubs go, this place is Fantastic!

No reviews for Bare Assets?  This place is great!   Definitely the friendliest strip club I have ever been to.  The crowd was very respectable....tourists, bachelor parties etc. and the girls are from all over the world and beautiful!

$5 cover , $6 drinks, clean, good sound system and everyone that works there has a good attitude. A must!