Brian's Ivy Hall

We came here after Hookslide's was declared a dead event.

Brian's Ivy frequently has shows with local artists and important people, but the night we attended was a regular "Capacity Thursdays". Even on this self-proclaimed night, things don't actually kick off till about midnight or so. The dance floor was empty until my friends and I broke the ice.

Bathrooms. Did. Not. Work. If you need to pee, it's pretty much an overflowed hole in a wall. If you need to poop, well - you're shit out of luck.

Lots of grindy, get-down-and-dirty music - which is okay if you're into that stuff. The girl to guy ratio is terrible (3:1), but at least the beer to dollar ratio is good (1:3).

In a club of this capacity, it should be standard procedure to check for weapons. Did not happen. The fliers all say "Proper attire required", but I think they'll let just about anyone in. To compare it to a Boston nightlife experience would be an gross exaggeration, but as far as Lowell goes - it's one of the trendiest.

Looks like a church basement. As a Catholic school girl, I know a thing or two about church basements in Lowell (heck, I received my sex ed in the basement of the Immaculate Conception) and this looks like someone uplifted the basement of Saint so and so and placed it on the third floor of a Merrimack Street store front.

Only on the stage where there very well could be a performance of Jesus Christ Superstar going on, there are ten go-go dancers booty dropping to a DJ instead. And on the floor where we should be leaving room for the Holy Spirit, people are getting down and dirty (certainly could have received a better sexual education here!) And carts that should be selling the Sodality's arts and crafts are selling beer and cocktails.

All that aside, Brian's Ivy hall is apparently all the rage in Lowell right now and you get a good mix of all that the city has to offer-some bro dudes, some woo girls, some club rats, but also everyday Joes looking for somewhere new and fun to dance and party. Brian and his Ivy hall deliver. Booze is decently priced and the servers are friendly-both things I don't see in the Boston dancing scene. The fourth star is only for the massive size of the dance hall-plenty of room to move without getting gropped-another crucial part of Boston clubs I am happy to leave behind. I can't wait to go to country night!

Here's to trying something exciting and having it work! One thing-where is the ivy? Perhaps they meant IV...you leave so dehydrated you need an IV?