Classic Cigar Parlor

**Disclaimer -- this review is for the hookah lounge upstairs.**

This place is such a dump and I had such a horrendously awful experience here that I felt compelled to create the business on Yelp just so I could write a review.

My girlfriend and I came on a Thursday night at around 8pm, zero customers in the house except for two employees and a couple of their friends which is a bad sign to begin with. The lounge is set up as a cozy attic, an interesting idea but one that fails to deliver in this environment. The place honestly looks like a secret hangout that a middle schooler created in the top floor one of his realtor mother's open houses for his friends to smoke weed in. Cramped, dirty, awkward, illegitimate, and juvenile.

We choose a couch in the corner, are handed menus, decide to go with the watermelon shisha. Also ordered some green tea. Suddenly someone starts playing obnoxiously loud rap music (I'm talking like full-on club volume -- my girlfriend and I are still the only ones here) out of a laptop through a PA system. The employees, and whoever they were with, (kids -- like fresh out of high school) began to honestly act completely drunk/stoned and were sort of jumping around, yelling incoherent sentences at each other dotted with various incidents of "BRO" and "PUSSY." I turn to my girlfriend open-mouthed. This is a business and it stays open?

Okay so the hookah comes, the guy brings it over WHILE SMOKING OUT OF IT. Uhhh, "bro," do you honestly think your customers want to see you puffing on the hookah you are bringing them? In what fucking universe is that even remotely acceptable? Jesus.

He brings the tea and it is just hot water in styrofoam cups with tea bags on the side. At this point I wasn't expecting anything else.

The hookah itself was fine -- standard Starbuzz stuff. The hose gave off a strange taste that perhaps suggested it hadn't been cleaned in a while. It took about ten minutes for the pipe to warm up but after that it was puffing quite nicely.

Still, it hardly mattered. We tried to make conversation over the insanely loud hip hop music but to no avail (at this point we were STILL the only customers); also the employees and their friends (who kept coming and going like this was a crack den) just kept being obnoxious assholes the entire time.....it was honestly like being the only sober people at a frat party.

We wanted to smoke more but we also wanted to get the hell out. Paid a $20 bill and left while the employees were still hootin' and hollerin' upstairs. We stayed for about an hour, not one person who wasn't greeted by obnoxious calls "YO WASUP BRO HOW YOU FUCKIN BEEN" walked through the door while we were there. It's a complete wonder how this place stays open.

AVOID.

Don't get a gift certificate here...in CT, an expiring gift certificate is against the law. We relocated to Doylestown from CT in 2009, and my wife got me a gift certificate for Christmas (expiration 12/31/10). Unfortunately, in all the unpacking, we misplaced the gift certificate. As time passed, we forgot about it, but suddenly found it recently. My wife went in to redeem it, only to be told that the the $50 she gave them in good faith--that hadn't expired in their bank account, by the way--expired for me. They refused to honor the certificate...must I conclude that they are therefore dishonorable? The woman rudely turned my wife away and said it was no good and there was nothing she was going to do for her.

UPDATE: SAVE EXPIRED GIFT CERTIFICATES!! I recently learned that this is only half the story. I was told that two years after a gift certificate greater than or equal to $50 expires, stores that issue them must submit the money to the state treasury by April 15 under escheat laws, as "abandoned property." I can then claim it back, if these merchants persist in acting dishonorably.

My ex boyfriend LOVED this tiny gem of a tobacconist.  He is/was a cigar afficianado and this place had some rare cigar that he had been seeking.

I like a puff or 2 in good measure - but am no "knower" of all things cigar - but this was a nice, friendly little shop right in the center of D-Town (wedged in between the Fountain House (aka Starbucks) and Buck County Coffee.

Cigars & Coffee.

Who would have thunk it?