Dizzy Lizard

I wouldn't even give this a star. Drinks are cheap but that is because they are expired, immensely watered-down, and low-end brands. Plus serving an underage group. Was uncomfortable every minute there. Sweaty, sloppy, trashy, dirty.

Really is a joke.

Granted my standards are pretty high. I moved to Florida just as I turned 21 so I've seen what the worlds best has to offer in Miami, but this wasn't even decent. It was just a shitty waste of time.

My co-workers (underage) dragged me there promising me it was "awesome". The outside and inside are literally covered in vomit and feces. Nearly all the patrons were loud, obnoxious, underage brats and any "women" (I use that word extremely loosely.. kind of like the "women" there) were just dirty and POSSIBLY 16 oldest. I realize to them it was neat because they could get served like big people but to me it was just a wretched experience.

I haven't been to many clubs on long Island, but unless they're smoldering pits where pigs bite your penis off for all eternity, I'd bet my left nut they're better then this place was.

I almost laughed out loud as I thought of Dizzy's and what I should rate them as.  I can't even lie and pretend like I didn't love it all the years I was at Hofstra.  It opened Spring semester of my freshman year and was a staple for the next 3.5 years.  But I will give you two scenarios that will help to better describe my three stars:

Happy Hour: Happy Hour was the pinnacle of the week.  Filled with 98% Hofstra students, it was the time of week that everyone you knew (friends, ex's, random people from class, crushes) came together to get wasted.  Granted, they let in underagers, but the real underagers (the high school kids) didn't come till after it was over, so it was mostly sophomore through senior college students.  Happy Hour started at 4 pm and went until we felt like leaving.  The music was fantastic, the DJ would swear at you and the drinks were strong and cheap.  It was a staple as a Hofstra student and I honestly think my social life would have been far different without it.

Saturday Night: Saturday night was a whole different ballgame, during both the school year and summer.  You may as well just have gone to the local high school dance (where they were selling alcohol).  Sweaty, dirty, skanky high schoolers (and freshmen and sophomores in college) would grind on each other till all hours of the night, spill their drinks on you and just make you all around want to punch someone.  Saturday night (or Friday after about 11 pm) is not a night you want to be near Dizzy's.

And there you have it: the good and the bad.  Would I go back to Happy Hour now?  No, I wouldn't.  First of all, my liver can no longer handle Long Island Iced Teas and second of all, I'm not in college.  It's a college bar.  You graduate the bar when you graduate college and once in a while you look back and remember all the great times you had.  That is all.