Used to get dragged here from time to time when I was in college.
If you are a university student wanting to get wasted with daddy's money and rub up against fellow students, this is the place for you.
I went here again last night for the first time in quite over a year (the last time I was dragged here, my friend was treated quite unfairly at the door despite being in his 30's, well dressed and not acting belligerent...I have a feeling this was because he's black but obviously the douchey doorman didn't outright say this). Â Anyway, last night my friend and I tried to take a picture in the photobooth; when the photo finally came out, it was so overexposed that you could hardly see anything but our teeth. Â The bartender who also seemed to be a manager because of his self-important attitude informed me that "what's wrong? You got your picture, that's what they look like, it's a 7-year old photo booth, what do you expect?".
Ultimately, they attract a spoiled, disrespectful crowd and seem to treat all of their customers with this same attitude. Â If I were a meaner-spirited person, I would wish that it had burned to the ground and stayed there a few months ago when the kitchen(?) caught on fire.
Ugh.
What it has:
A pool table that is used more for dancing on than actual pool.
An upstairs that you probably didn't know about.
A patio that you probably didn't know about (other than the name of the place).
A hiding place under the stairs.
Cheese fries that taste better after a long night.
College kids
What it doesn't have:
A clean bathroom
A real reason for anyone over 25 to rightfully go here
A sense of decor
"Mr/Mrs Right"
A proper dance floor
I would like to state, that in the last 5 years I have never gone here on my own volition. I have always been BROUGHT here.
My first experience to F&M's was a spoiled one for sure. My friend rented out the back bar for his private graduation party. It was great! We had bartenders to ourselves, cheese fries by the basket-load, and tons of space to mingle. It was heaven. However at midnight, F&M's turned back into the pumpkin and the floodgates of college kids came swooping into destroy our fun times. It became so packed in 15 minutes! So what happened next? We started dancing on top of bars and pool tables, taking random pictures in the photo booth, and hitting on way too young college kids of course! All in all it was such a fun night. Being older and having a very low tolerance for douchebag college kids, I need to be fairly inebriated before crossing this threshold again. Well, that or another private party. We were such good customers that the manager offered us a discount to throw another function! Overall, not a place I will ever frequent, but a fun place to act a fool if you're already headed that way.
Review Source:for the 1AM-2AM time slot, no one beats F&M. the upstairs and the back patio make this place expansive, although the hallway between the front of the house and the back with bathrooms along the way makes for a HUGE choke point. Be careful though, beer goggles in a place like this can get you in hot water real fast.
Review Source:I have never really liked F&M. Despite that, this was a bar where I spent many nights throughout the course of my youth (18-21). It seems that friends always wanted to go here, but I could never understand why.
Fast forward to today, and it had been 15 years since I had been to this bar. Once again a friend insisted we go, so I said what the hell.
As I was walking up, my reasons for disliking this bar all came flooding back to me. There were at least eight beautiful young drunk girls milling about out front. Some were crying, some were laughing while others looked like they had just vomited. Once past that scene, I reluctantly opened the door. Holy shit! In 15 years, nothing had changed.
The interior still looked as if the building would collapse at any moment. The front bar was jam packed with drunken college age people. The pool table was loaded with drunk guys dancing. Who in the hell wants to see a bunch of dudes on the pool table? Women? Sure. But guys? WTF? As an added bonus the floor was covered in broken glass. This made walking around more interesting, but it did add to the divey ambiance.
The back patio was even more crowded, so we headed upstairs..... Wait a minute. F&M has an upstairs? Despite hundreds (OK, maybe not hundreds) of trips here, I never remembered an upstairs. Maybe I blocked it out of my memory, but there it was, stairs and all. It was far less crowded and seemed like the best spot in the bar.
Will I be back to F&M? Probably.
Will I ever suggest my friends and I go here? Probably not
Should you go? If you read my description of the drunk girls, crowds, and dudes on the pool table and got excited, then get here ASAP.
Note: There is a couch under the stairs. It seems like a nice secluded spot to sit, but I would imagine a black light may reveal some disturbing things. Sit at your own risk.
First of all, I don't know why people are giving this bar such negative reviews. This is by far one of the funnest bars to go to. I come here atleast once a week. I love to dance, and they play the BEST music. If a song comes on that I don't particularly care for, I usually just migrate to another room. They have the BEST cheese fries in the city of New Orleans. And you have to dance on the pool table atleast once in your life: it is the F&M's right of passage. You have to come here on a Friday or Saturday night after about 1 am. You know you get here too early when you see a leopard print pool table. I don't think I've ever had a bad time here.
Review Source:We're going to Old Tipitina's one night, and our cab driver said he drops a lot of "kids" off close by at a bar called F & M. Â Curious, we found it for a drink before the show we were going to see. At 10pm, we found only 3 older, sketchy men, a leopard print pool table, and the worst jukebox ever-- lots of Kenny Loggins. Â We found the patio out back, which was deserted at the time but the only part of the bar that looked good.
Review Source:This place is cool as long as you know what you're getting into. I had a gig last night and at about 3 we were still at the bar trying to figure out where to go. I said I wanted to go dancing. So we walked over to F&M's from Bon Temps.
I had read numerous Yelp reviews about this place, because my first week in New Orleans, I had inquired where I should go dancing and a cop told me to check out F&M's. I'm gonna be honest and say that I'm not a huge fan of dive bars. Having said that, I keep ending up at dive bars here in NO and now I just deal with it. So when we had decided to go over here, I knew exactly what to expect.
We got there, and sure enough, there were a bunch of drunk college kids. Whatever. The second or third song after our arrival was Teach Me How to Dougie and I was more than pleased. I was already smelling like an ashtray and all I wanted to do was get down on the dance floor, so nothing else really mattered to me. So. I broke it down. In my five inch heels that I had been rocking all night.
I tried the cheese fries because I was hungry and I remembered reading about them. They were good. I do wish they were a little more flavorful, but whatever. It's drunk people food. The girl making them was friendly. While I was waiting for my fries, some really drunk guy told me I was beautiful (I told him that I knew) and tried to kiss me about five times. It was kinda gross but also hilarious.
I also had a personal dance serenade done by some guy. I don't know if he expected that I would fall for that and go home with him, but it was entertaining anyway.
Let's see. I would probably only go back if it was like 3 am and with enough liquor in my system. I would not go here with just girlfriends. Last night I was rollin with a bunch of dudes so I felt very safe and that's why I could just laugh at the drunk dude tryin to kiss me forcefully.
Ooh, also I ran into the guy that works at Monkey Hill that I saw on my first night in New Orleans here last night. I felt like a local. Lol.
This place is dirtier than the boot. Another example of real Tulane University culture (alumni speaking). The girls are dolled up in their sluttly clothes with a  goal to get black out drunk. Bros stand around and wait until the girls are blackout in order to bang them. It really is quite bizarre. There is always plenty of vomit to go around. I do use it as a bragging device to explain to my friends that Tulane students party the hardest and are the least classy broads of 'em all.
Review Source:Best crazy late night scene in the Uptown area!!! Â People of all ages end up at F&M's for fun into the wee hours of the morning. Â Always a good time with tasty cheese fries and pool table dancing. Â Sometimes it gets crazy crowded but some of the best bartenders in the city keep things moving smoothly. Â Occasionally some out of town idiots try to cause trouble and start fights as they have stayed up way past their bed times and don't know how to behave themselves on New Orleans time but usually just a lot of people having a really good time dancing to mostly great music with the occasional crappy rap song thrown in. Â The men's bathrooms can get filthy beyond all legends and who knows what foul things might drip on you sometimes but despite all these minor issues it is always a fun time to dance the night away til dawn at F&M's!!! Â
It is worth a visit for the cheese fries alone!
I came here on a Friday night & as soon as I walked in I saw too many girls dancing to 90's pop music on the pool table. This place def. has a vintage vibe to it...it looks like it's about to break down and if you glance at the ceiling you'd be surprised how it's not about to collapse at that second. From their vintage jukebox, cigarette vending machine, Christmas lights and random patio chairs..it makes you feel like your in a really old basement , kinda sorda.
However, my main goal was to try those CHEESE FRIES! Which were waffles fries and satisfying but over rated for sure. Nonetheless they were good.
I would agree with Matthew V's review that this place is more for people under the age of 21 or entering college. They played a lot of 90's pop music (Blink 182, Sugar Ray) Which was alright.
Overall, it was okay...I wouldn't come back because it just wasn't my scene..I felt old :( hahaha
If you are not 21 you should probably go here. I can't imagine they were carding looking at the people in here. Also only somebody who has never been to another bar before would be willing to pay these prices. $20 minimum on cards??? Really?!
Also you should go if you like to wear what you wear to lunches with your dad's business partners out to bars. Get those khakis and button ups out! Also no need to wear socks with your loafers. That's how the other kids will know you are a rebel. Seriously though, is this where they train the bad guys from 80's movies?
The worst! Please don't ever ask me to go here. If you like it here, please leave me alone!
This is where you end your night. Â It's a college bar and stays open till 5 am. Â It IS a dive bar but it's always packed! It's kind of like a house party. Â Everyone's down for a good time. Â Rarely did things get out of order. Â They do have a small grill for the drunks. Â Burgers, cheese fries.... Since it's off the tourist's area you'll just get mostly locals.
Review Source:The ultimate dive bar.
F&M is sort of like 3 bars in one. In room one you will find a pool table with a piece of plywood on top, under a bunch of christmas lights. Get on this table and dance. In the next room you'll find cheese fries. Then there is upstairs...
To get upstairs you'll have to walk through a permanent pool of water, just sitting on the floor in front of the stairs. Then you'll have to climb stairs that are ridiculously high for an establishment full of drunks.
F&Ms is permanently wet. I have no idea why. I've never been there when it was raining, but its always dripping and full of puddles. It is also full of fabulously drunk Tulane and Loyola students, dancing to music that can only be described as a rich white kid's dream. I have never been to F&M and not had the opportunity to dance to the Backstreet Boys and Spice Girls at least once.
Go late, eat cheese fries, and dance. And come drunk. You'll enjoy it more.
Famous for their dancing on the pool tables, F&M is a hopping place after about Midnight. Lots of Tulane and Loyola students. If you're looking for a pick-up joint with a little spice they say this is your place. In the grand tradition of laid back New Orleans dive bars. The Cheese fries are a great late night snack. Don't go too early
Review Source:Do you ever pee in your shower?
- Sure it's kind of gross, but try it, you may like it.
- It kind of smells when you first start, but it actually goes away pretty quickly.
- It's not unusual to tell people you don't do it, while secretly doing it every weekend.
- Stopping midstream can be difficult, just go with the flow. You'll know when you're done.
- Don't let anyone judge you for doing it, different streams for different teams, right?
- It's something you do when you're younger but usually do less of as you get older.
- It certainly doesn't hurt anyone and can even be quite fun, but you still feel kinda dirty doing it.
- You can pretty much do it as late in the night as you want.
- No one's going to stop you, unless you're in a relationship.
- Some people actually look forward to it, even get turned on by it, and yes, believe it or not, it can actually lead to sex.
- Quesadillas and Deluxe Cheese Fries.
Spending an evening at F&M's is like peeing in the shower.
Are you 19 years old? Â Do you want to hang out with 19 year olds and listen to Journey? Â if so then i'd give it 5 stars. Â if not then don't come here.
Having said that...it is at least open late.
Oh yeah...$20 minimum on cards...because if you're spending daddy's money you're not going to have any cash.
God, I really wish I wasn't familiar enough with this place to actually review it. but here it goes: if you're between the ages of 18-25 and are all about ending up in some random person's (by that I mean Tulane/Loyola student's) bed tomorrow morning, this isn't a bad place to go.
For us non-fratboys/sorority girls, this is more of an end-of-the-night place that my friends and I go to between 1am-5am after we've already gotten hammered at house parties/other, better bars.
The drinks are fairly cheap (around $3 for a beer, $3-4 for a whiskey and coke), it gets packed, they play very "danceable" pop/hiphop music, and if you grew up in New Orleans (or maybe  if you've just been here awhile), you're almost guaranteed to see someone you knew here.
*drink prices are educated guesses because I've never actually been here sober enough to pay attention.
Last night was my first time over at F&M on Tchoup. The location makes it a little out of the way- i'm not sure how you would get there if you weren't going to shell out some extra cash for a cab (luckily, the boy drove). I say head on over for a night of dancing, it's worth it!
A great plus of this place is that everyone is so busy dancing that they don't have time to smoke- you can breathe in here!
The music is an eclectic mix of current rap/r&b, pop, and then some 80s/90s stuff. I actually heard a few wedding line dance type songs. F&M is actually a few different rooms all connected and last night they were playing different music in the different rooms. The bar was servings up wings and cheese fries and all types of things that smelled great.
I heard from a local that no one ends up here unless it's way into the early morning hours and they've had too much to drink.
I guess I don't understand why people are complaining about the scene here. Are you going out to pick up a new date? Or are you going out with your friends to dance and spend time together? Okay, so a few guys made some comments- just shake them off or smile and walk away! Maybe this isn't the place to meet new people...but I had fun.
F&M's offers a great time if you're looking for some fun dancing! It's all about your attitude :)
I know this is a NOLA favorite, but I just can't wrap my mind around how F&M is "fun." Â It's partitioned into several rooms/sections so you can choose your poison, but this entire bar just screams "college bar." Â
The whole dancing on pool tables schtick is entertaining, I guess? Â And I guess I'm just a crochety old woman because I've never gotten the appeal. Â The courtyard area can be tolerable with the faux foliage and seating area, but again, the type of crowd is usually a little off putting. Â
They do seemingly offer very well-loved bar food - greasy, fried, buried in cheese delights. Â Also drinks are reasonably cheap and strong so that is possibly the only draw of this place to me.
Personally, I'm not a fan of F&M, because I prefer to avoid crowded meat market type places. Â It's awful. Â But if you're into douchebag frat-boy saturated crowds, are looking to get laid, or perhaps just want to get hit on by a bunch of sweaty drooling drunk ass college guys, this is the place for you. Â
That said, I have been to F&M for several 80th birthday party events, oddly enough, and I will say it's a great venue for daytime events. Â Also, they have awesome cheese fries, which has been enough to persuade me to brave the crowd of drunk, horny frat boys at 2 a.m. Â They're that good. Â Not sure how late the kitchen is open, but it's later than most places, I believe. Â
In a nutshell: great bar for being groped, finding late night food (i.e. cheese fries), and for daytime events like birthday parties. Â If you're a college student, you'll probably love it. Â Eventually, though, you'll get old like me and outgrow F&Ms. Â Such is life.
I'm not sure how I ended up at this place, but all the locals know it as where the Freshman College Girls go to dance. If that's your scene, then uh...have fun with that one. If you're a Tulane/Loyola student, you're doing yourself a disservice to not visit this place, but even more of a disservice to frequent this place.
It is what it is. There's dancing, there's a patio, there's booze.
I has pretty good times in my two trips to F&M's. 3 bars and a nice patio/outdoor area. Upstairs is more of the same (beat up furniture and booths/tables). I would say this bar is a College bar but last time i went it was more like a 28+ crowd. But hey the music is loud and the drinks are pretty cheap!
Review Source:I had a lot of fun at this place last weekend. Â Was I a little old to be in there? Â Probably. Â But I was on vacation so eff it. Â It's a good old fashioned college bar full of young people drinking and enjoying life. Â Nothing wrong with that. Â
There isn't really anything special about it aesthetically, but with bars there usually doesn't have to be. Â All that matters is the crowd. Â Younger crowd, but lively and having a good time. Â If I lived in New Orleans I wouldn't go here often - 6 years ago I would have - but I would go every now and then. Â
The cheese fries are off the proverbial hook as well.
CLASSIC NEW ORLEANS. It's the bar everyone hates to love.
Crowded, loud, dingy but always a guaranteed good time. It's been around so long that my 60+ yr old father remembers going there with my Mom. If you are looking for a fun, ridiculous and out of control night go here.
Tip: Don't go until 1am.
If you cannot handle the greek college scene, dancing on bar tables, crowded dive bars and dank, dirty bathrooms then you will probably agree with the other reviews of F & Ms here. Â If you go to bars to meet people, talk with friends and have a relaxing evening, just stop reading here. Â
F & Ms is a place to go to Just Dance! Â It'll be okay. Â Forget about all the rest. Â Since moving to New Orleans, I have been told by many that this place is gross and there is a terrible crowd and to avoid it unless I am searching for some frat boy to go home with. Â Despite all that, I love it. Â F&Ms is the perfect end to a night out in New Orleans. Â I like to arrive around 2 am when the crowd really begins. Â There are three different areas to dance with three different playlists, so if you don't like one song, you can just move to the next room. Â
The cheese fries are what originally brought me here. Â The waffle fries are smothered in cheese and are just greasy enough to cure any desire for drunk munchies. Â My advice for F & Ms is to go already drunk (so you can avoid the issues with bartenders other reviewers have mentioned) and to go with a group of 3 or 4 friends (more than that, it'll get crowded, less you might be the aim of some not so desirable men). Â And just dance.
HAHA! I'm loving Ryan W.'s "Come to see the darker side of debutantes" comment!
Yes, it's true, this is a yuppyish white kids bar, often full of Tulane students. When I was at school, it seemed reliable that you would run into your crush /ex /3 AM hookup /future 3 AM hookup at F&M's. And it wouldn't be out of place to begin making out at the bar... or having your crush, ex, 3 AM hookup, and future 3 AM hookup fighting outside in the parking lot. Expect strong drinks, cattiness, dirty south music, and designer drugs.
The patio is definitely a respite as the bar tends to fill up and gets way hot. The upstairs feels shady, like R. Kelly may come out of nowhere and molest you. But, all in all, I did keep coming back here. It's just one of those things...
I've been waiting to get my revenge on this place.
Awful. You can't get a drink unless you're in the same frat as the dumb ass bartender.
The music is awful... every night you will undoubtedly hear juvenile/journey/garth-brooks in the same 10 minutes. I can't handle the crappy winamp playlist thing. I have no problem with juvenile or garth brooks, but when i hear rap music i like to dance, and I don't want crappy country music or 80s rock to interfere with that.
IF YOU LEAVE YOUR ID AND CREDIT CARD BEHIND THE BAR THEY WILL NOT LET YOU REDEEM IT EVEN THEY ARE GETTING READY TO OPEN. THEY WILL TELL YOU TO COME BACK LATER. I can't even try to understand this.
There is a 20 dollar minimum on bar tabs (what the hell?) and the beer is way too expensive.
The women here are loose as hell, but will only get with you if you actually tuck your polo into your jeans (even though you're only half the age of your father).
I guess this is your place if you have no good taste in music, women and crowds.
By the way, the fajitas are actually great drunk food and come out fast.
I cannot express how foul this place is. Literally. Every time i was dragged back here by my friends I wanted to shoot myself in the face to put myself out of the misery that is F&Ms. Strangers will literally try to have sex with you/maul you beyond belief/etc, first thing i heard about the place was the coke fest upstairs, and unless you are so inebriated you dont even know your name, you should seriously avoid the place. Â Many of my friends love going there at 4-5 am, after they don't remember their names, to dance on the pool table, but basically its a bunch of shitfaced college kids, drowning in sweat, and attempting to hump anything that moves. Â The cheese fries are notorious however, so i've debated going just to pick some of those up, but the thought of re-entering the establishment is beyond toleration.
Review Source:The details are fuzzy, but the cheesy potato things at the bar were incredible. As was the drunken grinding to "Maneater" by Nelly Furtado. I kind of felt like I was on spring break or something. A lot of people making out everywhere and white girls pelvic thrusting into each other. But hey, it was a good time. I'll be back. Probably Saturday.
Review Source:This place is for the upturned-collar polo and bud light crowd. Â Sure, it's huge, and the bartenders are hot, but ugh! the crowd. Â Boys and girls who aren't yet women. Â Pass it and hang a left at Tipitina's: Â go to Ms Maes for much cheaper drinks, a much more diverse and enjoyable crowd, and oh that wonderful curtain to make you unaware that the early morning hides outside so you can really enjoy getting duckface hammered.
Review Source:Three bars in one. The first is the main Roadhouse-style bar - minus the Swayze - with pool table, a solid jukebox and PBR on tap. The second is a more brightly lit sit-down dining/cocktail room serving good quality bar food. The last is a large outdoor patio with huge tropical plants, long strings of colored lights, and the requisite NOLA humidity. A good place to start or finish your night, as it is open 24 hours.
Review Source:
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