Lawlor's Bar

I would be fibbing if I said I didn't feel some anxiety walking into Lawlor's. So many white people. Nothing wrong with that, but I did have to calm my nerves by reminding myself that white people enjoy having sex with their socks on, carry hand sanitizer with them everywhere, use "mild" hot sauce, drink SmartWater, dress their dogs in outfits, and listen to Macklemore. Nicest, most harmless people on earth.

Lawlor's isn't much for visual appeal, in that they ain't got none. Lawlor's isn't much for decent beer on tap, in that...they ain't got none. The food at Lawlor's could be better, in that you better take your ass down the street to Micky D's, because they ain't got no damn food.

You're probably asking "then why would I want to come here?" Simply, you're an unabashed alcoholic and the drinks are cheap. Or you're like me and had some time to kill, drove past it many times throughout the years, became curious...and an unabashed alcoholic.

You'll infer from the insane weekly drink specials that they welcome drunken debauchery. $1 pints on this day, $1.50 bottles the next. Seems like an ideal place to relive your early 20's. Early 20's? Just writing this makes me want to play Century Club with friends while blasting my Chingy and Outkast burned CD that I spent hours downloading off Kazaa, from my Juno ISP dial-up modem on my Compaq desktop PC.

I love a good neighborhood dive bar, but I can't call Lawlor's "good". It lacks personality and individuality. They need to give this place an identity, other than drunk and south side-y white, or they ain't goin' nowhere like a bad navi.