Moonlite Bunny Ranch

Great selection but a bit pricey

I was on a road trip, riding my motorcycle with a group of friends to a bike rally in Reno, and we stopped to spend a couple nights with my riding partner's family friends in Carson Valley.  What is there to do in Carson Valley for three days?  We went on some terrific rides, ate some fine barbeque, hit up a card room or two and, of course, stopped by the Moonlight Bunny Ranch.  Come on, you know if given the opportunity, you'd check it out too.

So the whole group, four guys and three gals, stumbled out of the city around 1am on a Friday night and made our way out into the weeds to the Moonlight Bunny Ranch.  I had no idea what to expect, but any hope of finding a classy establishment faded as soon as I saw the doublewide trailers and flickering pink neon sign.

I admit the interior is nicer than the exterior would lead you to believe.  So we hung out at the bar, had a few drinks, and talked with the ladies for a bit.  This is when I learned the first truth about real life prostitutes - they're not nearly as attractive as they are in the movies.  Honestly, most of the girls were skanks.  Go figure.

After being there for nearly a half hour, curiosity finally got to me and I asked one of the gals at the bar how much she charged.  Turns out she didn't work for the Ranch, and was there for a drink just like me.  Mistake #1.  Oops...

I buried my head in embarrassment for five minutes until my friend, who thought he was a bit slicker than I was, announced that he had gotten us VIP tours of the Ranch.  We stepped into the next room, and two minutes later we were presented with a lineup of 'staff.'  We were told to select a gal, and she'd take us on a tour of the ranch.  I can honestly say this was the most unusual buffet I had seen in Nevada.

They were all pretty nasty looking, so I picked the ugliest gal in hopes that she'd have some personality.  Mistake #2.  She led me past the bar, around the corner, and straight into her bedroom - not exactly a 'tour.'  That's when she explained how things worked.  The girls aren't allowed to proposition customers in the bar area - they had to be invited back to their rooms by the potential client.  Once they were safely in their rooms, they could talk business.  When a gentlemen spends too much time at the bar and doesn't offer to bring a lady back to her room, they offered "VIP tours" which end up in a bedroom.

Which is how I found myself in a hooker's bedroom, listening to her rattle off sexual favors and prices like today's specials at Applebees.  I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing at some of the 'menu items.' Apparently prices vary from girl to girl and are completely negotiable; the most attractive girl in the Ranch was charging thousands per hour; my girl would give me anything I wanted for $250.  Mistake #3.

Needless to say, I declined Skankerella's proposition, finished my drink, and made my way back to the bar, where I found my compatriots with similar bewildered looks on their faces.  Except one guy, who was grinning from ear to ear.  We didn't ask.

The drinks were good, though...

I've only been to one other place like this before and I'd have to say this place blows the other one out of the water (the ladies can also blow you with either hot or cold water as well). From the moment we stepped in we were greeted by a slew of beautiful women who were ready to give us sexual pleasures, and we almost couldn't refuse. We were told to choose the lady who would give us the grand tour of the ranch, and I picked the lovely Kennedy to show me around. Kennedy took me to various themed rooms and lounges until she brought me to her room. She asked me if I wanted to "party" so I asked her how much it was to "party", when she told me what it would take to "party" with her all night thats when it came to a screeching halt. Aside, from that it was a really great experience. This place is definitely the place to go when in need of much "partying". We chilled at the bar for a bit and enjoyed our drinks in the lounge before we bought a couple of shirts and went our merry way.