Salty Dog Saloon

The Salty Dog Saloon is a mainstay of Gainesville's 'midtown' district, and with good reason. The tap wall is expansive and rotates regularly. Like Durty Nelly's and a few other fine establishments, Salty Dog has been grandfathered past the indoor smoking ban in Gainesville. This element, repulsive to many, lends the Dog a rather nostalgic, blue atmosphere, in which one can almost hear the chaos of the 1996 football national championship.

The ambience is strange: from opening (3:00 pm) until about sunset, Salty plays host to thirsty grad students and faculty. It's quiet. It's not crowded. One can listen to George Thorogood on the jukebox to one's heart's content. Mike (perhaps the best bartender in Gainesville, based on expertise, memory, and celerity) pours 22 oz. Yeunglings for $1.75. It's, in a word, zen.

Then, the sun goes down. And a lot of dudes come in. Like, a lot of dudes. A lot of board shorts, tank-tops, flip-flops, neon hats, croakies, boat shoes, expensive watches, dip cans, country music, shitty rap, Natty Lite pitchers, flip cup, quarters, and fishing shirts. And loud, ignorant mouths.

If you watched it all on mute, it could almost pass as a gay bar. Or a deleted scene from the American Pie franchise.

Having never stayed at the Salty Dog past, say, 8:00 pm, I can only assume that such a steady stream of Axe body spray wafts through the entrance all night until close. Every night of the week.

The food is passable, but nothing to write Yelp about.

A friend of mine once described Salty Dog as a bar that would be a hipster dive if it wasn't located at midtown. I think that's the best way to approach it.

They have a really boss beer selection - everything from nice imports like Orval Trappist Ale and Chimay to American microbrews like Abita.

Moreover, they always have a nice deal going on and one of the best happy hours in town. From 4-7 you can get a double wells for $2.25 every day of the week.

Not really a fan of the nights it's busy - then you're packed like sardines with a bunch of 21-year-olds that are still trying to make their college experience into a version of Animal House. But on less crowded nights, it's a chill place with cheap booze, good service, and a dive-y atmosphere.

If you want a clean, big bar with overpriced drinks, best look elsewhere.

Atmosphere can easily be summarized in one word: grungy.

Pro: ridiculously cheap beer.