Harpos

I saw WINGER perform here in 2007. The neighborhood is scary and the place is a dump. (i hear it used to be a nice place at one time) its a cryin' shame now!  - The parking lot has too many pot-holes. The security is heavy here and when the show starts, they lock all the doors and don't let people leave. (this oughta tell you something) - standing in the audience was rough. cold air gushed on everyone and i have no idea where it was coming from. (they probally can't heat the place anymore)  This theatre looks like it used to be so elegant in its day...but its BROKE DOWN now. The typical "painted black walls" are very MICHIGAN. (catering to trash mostly) and the bathroom's look like someone's science project. - BREATHE THRU YOUR MOUTH PEOPLE! - A plastic cup of pop was $7. (what a rip!) - I was told by someone in the audience that harpo's is close to the water. (really)? I didn't see any! i loved seeing winger here but to this day...I still don't know where i was or where Harpo's is actually located. Obviously around nothing familiar!  or popular! THIS PLACE does have one thing going for it. its a cult-classic! and alot of 80s hair bands perform here for some reason. (local bands too)

Disgusting, but the best place to rock your face off! They would get 4 stars if they hired people to keep up with the bathroom - or installed more bathrooms. Just don't use them. drinks aren't bad priced, people are interesting. It's a bad area, but security is watching your cars. too many people smoking all different kinds of things insides, but it was all expected at a hard rock/metal show. Don't go if you can't handle the grunge and roughness of it.

Ahh, Harpo's.  Saw my first metal show there in '96 when Gwar played their annual Halloween bash.  Got my first broken nose here too.  I've seen endless metal acts there.  Then, when emo became all the rage with pasty suburban kids, and it was considered "ironic" to go to a metal show dressed like Buddy Holly and do those gay little "dances" in the mosh pit, Harpo's started to change.  Then there were all the MTV nu-metal kids doing the "I hate my mommy" dance.  I've seen so many such pussies get leveled by burly beefcakes in there it ain't funny. Many of those stains on the carpet are blood.  But I'll never forget the first time I saw some Bloomfield Hills-lookin' mall chick in there...like WTF are you doing in here, toots?!  

What happened to all the huge, gangly pissed-off lookin' bikers and metalheads in leather jackets beatin' ass in the pit?  Shit, at this point I'd prefer that the skinheads dominated the place again.  They may be retards but at least they have low-IQ as an excuse, and are not pussies.  I guess that's what I'm really pissed about here...PUSSIES.  What happened to Detroit?  There used to be places in this city where you JUST DIDN'T GO unless you could handle yourself in a fight, and now all I see are a bunch of pasty, noodle-armed suburban kids claiming to be tough, and "from the D" diluting places like Harpo's that were unique holdouts against the steady pussification of America.  

@ reviewer Jessica W:
Are you f%$#ing serious?  The reason you GO to Harpo's is to get your ass kicked, and go nuts in a shithole venue that is ugly and scummy as sin...and you're complaining that it's dated?  That it's shady?  Lemme give you a few tips.  Number one, if you are going to the 14000 block of Harper, you might want to think about leaving your valuables at home, genius.  To quote the many locals who react to seeing dumb white kids in their hood, "You know where you be?"  LMAO, I just have to laugh at the morons who come outside to busted windows or punched locks and act surprised when their expensive sound system is gone.  WTF did you expect?  People just have no sense.

This place is for grimers.  It is not for you.  You stay in Taylor and go to Southland Mall like all the good little white girly girls.  Harpo's does not want you...take the motherf@#$ing hint.  If you have to wonder, then you do not belong there.  You are not cool enough to see Gwar anyway.  "I want to go see a punk show, but I am going to complain about the cleanliness of the venue on <a href="http://yelp.com">http://yelp.com</a>."  My friends, that is the essence of what I'm getting at here.  IF YOU ARE A WEAKLING, YOU DO NOT BELONG.  "Wahhhhhhhh, the parking lot isn't secure.  Wahhhhh, I want everything to be sparkling clean and safe and ergonomical like in the suburbs where I was raised."  If you can't hang, stay home where you can be coddled by your fluffy surroundings.

@reviewer Michael C:
He is correct, it is a rite of passage for suburban kids...but then he goes on to complain that the bathrooms are horrible, and the pit is rough?  Dude, if you're claiming to be from Detroit, or posturing yourself somehow above these "suburban kids," you're gonna need bigger nuts than that.  And if you can't deal with seeing a swamped men's room where each toilet is filled to the brim with vomit, garbage, and feces, the walls are stained with filth, and the sinks are covered in the blood of the injured, then you just don't belong there.  You're like the fools who went to G.G. Allin shows back in the day and were mortified when he threw his runny heroin feces at you, and ran for your life out the door when he jumped off the stage to attack the audience with bottles and cue sticks.  You just don't belong at a real punk/metal hall.  Stay home.  You want the cred, but you can't hang with the reality.

@reviewer Richard R:
Pfft, "check on your car"?  LOL.  Sounds like you shouldn't even f%$#ing be there, guy.  "Wahhhh, the decor hasn't been changed in 25yrs."  Man up, you f%$#in wimp.  WTF do you want?!  This is F%$#ING HARPO'S, guy!  You'd prolly go to Hell and complain that the thermostat is turned up too high!

Admittedly I wasn't going there in the 1980s when Harpo's was REALLY bad, but even the difference I see now in how it was when I started going to what it became is just unbelievable.  The Harpo's I remember was a place of danger, and that's why I went there.  I've seen some f%$#ed up shit go down there.  But I didn't whine about it, I just accept reality for what it is.  If I didn't like it, I would stop going.  Harpo's is a dungeon.  That's what it does.  That's why it exists.  Don't try to put a handicap ramp on somebody else's good time just so your feeble ass can participate.  To quote Manowar, "WIMPS AND POSERS--LEAVE THE HALL!"

That said, the beer prices have been jacked up in accordance with the richer clientele, no more pitchers, and the bartender was a total stuck up yuppy bitch.  I'm ready to tell Harpo's to get f%$#ed.