Mojoes

I couldn't have been more excited to see two of my top favorite bands play here on Saturday; Opeth and Katatonia. They played a great set and the sound was great which is why I was generous enough to put one star; however everything else about this place was a disaster.
First of all, isn't there a max capacity for venues? This place is cramped as it is but seriously there must be a hazard as to how jam packed a place should be. I made the mistake of leaving the balcony, because I couldn't see a thing thanks to the 2 ginormous poles in the way of the stage. Plus, you can't see a thing from the balcony in the first place unless you are one of the fortunate 20 people right in the front. i go downstairs and it took me a good 25 minutes to go from the stairs to the bar because the place was packed and I mean hazardous packed, just to see that there were people by the bar texting and looking bored. Why? Because they could see a thing on stage. Unless you are at the very front, good luck trying to enjoy your favorite bands play. Most sold-out venues I've been to have a slope on the floor so that shorter people like myself are able to enjoy the view. When I was lucky enough to catch a peek I only discovered that even the bands looked stiff on that tiny cramped stage. I don't even want to get into how disgusting the women's bathrooms are.
So unfortunate for this place. I just found out that 3 more of my favorite bands will be playing here soon and I want no part of it, unless of course they get real about their maximum capacity and they reconstruct this to actually look like a music venue rather than an old rundown nightclub. It sucks because these are bands that I really want to see but the memory of this venue has haunted me out of it.

Let me get this straight:

You want to go to a microscopic venue in the B.F.E., IL that has one miniscule, narrow entrance/exit (the owners of E2 would approve), a stage built by and for the residents of Munchkinland, a sound crew from Yoko Ono's camp, and a women's restroom from the set of The Toxic Avenger? (Ladies - BRING YOUR OWN TOILET PAPER AND GO TO THE BATHROOM EARLY!)

Then Mojoes is definitely the place where you want to be.

Due to overselling the Sevendust/Coal Chamber show to the rhythmically retarded demographic of the Midwest, I spent the majority of the night in someone's very sweaty armpit (thankfully, he was very courteous) and fending off extras from the cast of Deliverance who couldn't understand why I wasn't there to see Sevendust (I went for Lacuna Coil) because the lead singer is black so that MUST mean that I'm there to see him. Hello, Veiled Racism. It's been almost 2 hours since we last spoke. How I've missed you!

Then there was the moshing. Look, I have nothing against moshing as long as you (1) respect the Rules of the Pit; and (2) respect the rules of the venue. Every few feet, Mojoes has signs spelled out in Comic Sans *shudder* font:

NO MOSHING
No stage diving
No crowd surfing

Guess who obviously can't read? Yep. And guess who wasn't enforcing those rules? Yep. Security did an excellent job of escorting out the knuckle-draggers who were stupid enough to start fights with them, and this happened on at least 3 occasions, but they did nothing about the giant mosh pit that started in my section, and I was in a corner, stage left. Rule of the Pit No. 1: KEEP IT TO THE CENTER AND FRONT! I learned this at age 15; the dillhole who started moshing in our corner was at least 25. We're not all intellectuals, ladies and gentlemen.

On the single positive note that I want to make about Mojoes, I would like to give a shout-out to the bartenders last night. You guys were on the busy as hell and managed to get me my drinks very fast. You're the reason why I'm giving this place 2 stars.

My closing remarks: Coal Chamber performed a song entitled "F**k This Place". That is all.

Management here is a JOKE.  Went to a show last night, and I watched a band play from upstairs, and throughout the show I noticed a couple people had slipped on the staircase below the balcony I was standing above (about 10 stairs.)  After the show I went to go downstairs, and my foot slipped on the first step, and I totally wiped out halfway down the staircase that was SOAKING WET for some reason (probably beer.)  About 4-5 patrons came to help me up, and I was in tears because my spine hit so hard going down.  

When I got to my feet, I told a security guy was happened, and he directed me to notify the owner at the ticket booth.  I located the guy (whatever is name is, the redhead guy who rides a scooter around the joint), pretty mad because I was in pain, and told him what happened and how they need to get some cones or CAUTION signs up before someone else got hurt.  He basically shrugged and said it happens sometimes, that they USED to have rubber pads on the stairs but they came off.  

So, 10-15 minutes later, the next band starts playing, and there are still no cones or signs on the stairs.  I went back to Mr. Scooter, screaming pissed and still in pain, asking him why no measures were taken to warn patrons of danger, and he told me that he doesn't need to be lectured on how to run his building.  SO irresponsible and unprofessional.  My back and elbow are bruised, and I'm hoping I won't be in pain too much longer due to building negligence.  Never going back to that stupid place.