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Reviews & Tips

  • 0

    Good beer and good food, nice covered outside seating in the back for the warmer months.  I especially like the Lompoc Special Draft (LSD) and the C-Note IPA.  

    For the food menu my girlfriend really likes the Cobb Salad and Veggie Sandwich, while I enjoy their burgers and the chicken strips (it's on the appetizer menu, but it's a full plate).  The BBQ sauce is homemade but they don't always use the same recipe.  So sometimes it's great, while other times is mediocre.  I always order the BBQ sauce, then if it's one of the weird recipes I switch to a different sauce.  Combine their burgers or chicken strips with their tots, and you can't go wrong.  

    I think the food menu is priced appropriately and they have some good weekly specials (Cheap beers on Mondays, and cheap mimosa's and bloody mary's on Sundays).  The service here is pretty good and their staff usually have some good recommendations on the beers and specials.  

    Overall a great neighborhood pub.

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  • 0

    This place had a good selection of Lompoc , and the food was decent.  Nothing stood out as unbelievably amazing, but it was still good.  If you want to find a place to get a good brew and a bite, go for it!

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  • 0

    Nice selection of Lompoc brews, thoughtful menu with a mix of old favorites and some creative dishes, comfortable atmosphere.  Waited at the bar for our table, and was chatted up by the bar staff. They got us a table out back in about 15 minutes at 7 on a Friday night, so nicely done there.

    I had the KickAxe Pale (bitter, floral) and the Brie burger (genius! And cooked perfectly).

    I've been before and will return again to meet up with those famous Totchos.

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  • 0

    Ordered a beer which was 1/4 of the glass foam....waitress did not care, had the chicken sandwich which half of the chicken was raw, not good...tots were great..  Service was slow and an I don't care attitude from waitress.  I gave a 2 star that was pushing it.....

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  • 0

    Look, this is not a place that is going to win any James Beard awards.

    With that said, it's a very cozy pub with decent food and helpful service. The Tatcho's have brought my husband out of a funk more than once. Then again, it might have been the beer...or the RC Cola as he's very brand loyal and not many places are serving RC nowadays :-)

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  • 0

    I go here periodically for beer & a sandwich. This place has better food than Laurelwood Public House, which is right down the street. The service has always been excellent, too.

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  • 0

    Nice pub ambience, on the small side with just a few seats at the actual bar itself.  Comfortable booths, several tables and chairs.  We arrived at around 1:30 on drizzly Saturday afternoon and there was plenty of seating available, so we grabbed a booth.

    Instantly attended to and the staff was super friendly and helpful.  I don't know what probs other reviewers had, but we had none.  

    We enjoyed the Proletariat Red, simply delicious and not too hoppy, not too sweet...just riiiiiight.  

    I had the chicken ciabatta club sandwich and Mother Mary was it delicious!  Thick salty bacon, freshly grilled & slightly smoky chicken breast, sliced red onion and all the fixings on a warm and chewy ciabatta roll - which was a carb lover's wet dream.   Chose the tomato soup (oh how I wanted those fries but alas, the starchy carbs of the ciabatta roll cancelled those out)....

    My compadre enjoyed a Blue Cheese burger or something of that sort.  Had mushrooms and crumbled bleau cheese on his beef.     I know he thoroughly enjoyed it  because he had visible and audible Foodgasms -  moaned and groaned through his entire meal.   He then emailed me later to tell me how fantastic his food was and can we please go back there soon!?

    If you're ambling around Westmoreland/Sellwood (this is not technically Sellwood - but whatever)  and you're hungry, stop in here for sure.  Great little neighborhood pub!

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  • 0

    Went here a couple of weeks ago. Sat at the bar and the bartender was very helpful giving tasters advising about the beers they had.  I only had the wings as a snack so I won't pass judgement to their overall food. Wings were just ok for me and the sauce was a little weird.  

    I'll have to go again and give the full review.

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  • 0

    Noh!  I don't think so!  The server (young long haired dude) was not friendly nor did he ever ask us what we wanted to order.  We had to flag him down for the menu and ordering.  He never checked back if "we're alright".

    NEVER AGAIN!!!

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  • 0

    Two ciders available and a warm cozy atmosphere. This is now my favorite Lompoc location. Tucked away on Bybee in Sellwood, this pub doesn't stand out but it's a great location for a small group to grab lunch or a very drinks. There is s a small bar in the back and several booths and tables in the front. The food is pretty good watch out for those fries, they are addictive. But it's really about the service they are on top of it, friendly and attentive. Did I mention they are a pub that carries cider? That's worth at least 4 stars in my book!

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  • 0

    Oaks Bottom is a great place to grab a pint during happy hour! It's a great neighborhood spot that's open late, something that's extremely rare for Sellwood. When almost every place is closed on Monday night, Oaks Bottom isn't only open, it's open late with an awesome happy hour. Come in after 9 or so on Miser Monday and get a Lompoc pint for only 2.50! That's one of the cheapest beers in town.

    The beer is really great too. They've always got an extensive selection, and usually something tasty on nitro as well. I like the C-Note for a good strong IPA, and the Proletariat Red is a well-rounded beer made even better when it's on Nitro.

    The food is ok, but that's usually not the reason I stop in. Your typical pub food; burgers, sandwiches, etc. But they've got totchos - tater tot nachos - and the happy hour portion is pretty good. This is for sure the best happy hour for drinks in Sellwood.

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  • 0

    Oaks Bottom Pub has been a Sellwood favorite of mine for many years now. It's changed hands in ownership since the first day I tasted their legendary Totchos. Some of the impact of the amazingness of the Totchos has been lost over the years (and the prices gone up with new ownership), but overall, still a neighborhood hub and gathering place.

    One thing that has only gotten better is the beer quality. Lompoc has brought to the table many great options, including a delicious stout and recently, a Red that they serve on Nitro.

    Plus - check out their Miser Monday menu - $2.50 a pint ALL NIGHT LONG - killer deal. The service is always fun - Ryan is our Monday night beer guru, and overall, the place offers a mellow and home-like atmosphere. During the summer months, check out their patio in the back. Hidden away, but a fun getaway for a quick lunch and brew.

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  • 0

    Great place we stumbled across by accident.  Looks like they have some great beer but since I was driving I had to settle for something non-alcoholic.  The service was great and our waiter provided great service the whole time.  Portions were very generous on our sandwiches and prices seemed to be right in line.  The fries were super yummy along with my sandwich.  I can imagine this place at night being lots of fun and filled with locals from the neighborhood.

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  • 0

    Avoid the coffee.
    What is up with lousy service in PDX? Seriously, the unemployment rate is crazy, find someone who cares about their job. It's not that hard.

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  • 0

    This is a nice cozy local pub. I've been here a couple times. My wife and I stopped by here Saturday. The Happy Hour menu is a good value. We actually ordered sandwiches which are not that much more expensive than items off the Happy Hour menu. I enjoyed one of my house favorites the Proletariat Red while my wife had one of the season October Beers. This is one of the things I like about the Lompoc pubs is that they have the house standards as well a good variety of seasonal beers which keeps us coming back. For food my wife had the Reuben while I had the Blue Pig......Great place I would recommend checking out.

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  • 0

    We just discovered this place last week and have been here twice since then. At first, we were scared off by the prices (generally we try to spend around 5 dollars a person), but thought, let's just see if we can split something.
    The plan worked.
    The pulled pork sandwich with fries is delicious and big enough for two people. The kid's menu items are only $3.50- excellent!

    We were successful in our mission to find a new, yummy place to go that feeds our family of three for 15 or less.
    The happy hour menu also looks promising, but we haven't tried to yet.

    We shall be back!

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  • 0

    We met family for dinner here. Typical pub atmosphere. I had the turkey Brie sandwich and tots. Husband had the Italian dip and tots. I found my sandwich to be rather dry, though I liked the pears. I have to say, after all the fuss I heard about the tots they are just meh. I like the tots at McMenamins better. The food was just okay. Good service. I had a Stout Out Loud and husband had a pale (Kick Axe, I think) - both were good and I'd order the stout again if I saw it on a menu.

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  • 0

    New Old Lompoc makes outstanding beer, and even though Oaks Bottom is probably my least favorite of their pubs (only due to its smaller, cramped size) I would never award it anything less than 5 stars because their beer is SO GOOD. Never had the food but I've heard good things.

    I almost done want to mention the back deck, because I selfishly want to find a seat out there myself when I arrive. But yeah, the deck area in the back is pretty neat. You sort of feel like you're having a pint in an old tool shed. And supposedly it's heated in the winter.

    During happy hour there will likely be a line (yes, a line) standing on the entrance ramp waiting for a seat. Oaks Bottom lacks in seating. You might experience a wait. But the beer is worth it.

    But the best thing about Oaks Bottom: Miser Mondays $2.50 pints. I am grateful to New Old Lompoc for doing this.

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  • 0

    Tots + beer = Happiness
    Love this cozy place.  You feel welcomed by the staff and comforted by the libations.  And considering it's in the lovely Sellwood, the whole experience couldnt be more casually perfect!

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  • 0

    Staff is friendly, helpful, and fast, the food is worthwhile, it's a great location, and the beer selection always pleases. If you've never tried Lompoc, get the C-Note.

    Especially nice is the back deck.

    Highly recommended.

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  • 0

    When my husband and I were visiting my cousin (aka Sock Queen and owner of SockDreams!!) in Sellwood, she suggested we check out this place around the corner of her house. We loved the food and the local brews.

    This last weekend my grandma and I were visiting the area and I managed to find it again even though I couldn't really remember the name or what it looked like from the outside.

    My grandma ordered the Ruben and I had the grilled vegetable salad. The sandwich was HUGE so I had to help granny finish it. My salad was great and I enjoyed my glass of wine since beer is off my diet.

    Great food, great atmosphere, great location...go here!

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  • 0

    Decent little spot.
    Have a nice tater tot special.
    Burgers/fries are usually good.
    And they have a nice menu and beer selection.
    Service is good.

    Only flaw is nowhere to wait when it's crowded.
    Bar is like a closet.

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  • 0

    I last ate here years ago before Yelp even existed.  It was the perfect place today to join my friend for lunch.  We got there at 11:30 am before the lunch crowd and got a nice booth.   I highly recommend the PABST sandwich with roasted turkey added.   It had amazing grilled sourdough bread with thick cut bacon and garlic mayo.   The turkey tasted really fresh too.   Service was quick and the food came out even quicker.    I took a star away because they serve RC cola and also because my fries came out overfried.   My friend got a veggie burger and tots.   I should have gotten the tots.  
    All in all I will definitely be back here if I am ever in the Sellwood area.

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  • 0

    Oaks Bottom is a comfortable, casual kind of pub. It's a pretty simple place, but they have done a wonderful job of making the most of it. The service has always been good. All of the waiters/waitresses are really pleasant and welcoming. They have a great assortment of local brews, and the food is good as well.

    The "Totchos," (tater tot nachos) are my favorite. The hummus plate is great. Their salads are tasty and filling. I also recommend the P.A.B.S.T. and the Bybee Chicken sandwiches.

    If you're looking for a laid back evening, this is a great place to meet up with friends and share a pitcher or two.

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  • 0

    Great lunch spot! The Lompoc beers are always tasty and cold, I love the C-Note, Condor Pale Ale and The Kick-Axe Ale.

    I think the vegetarian chili here is pretty damn yummy, I am very picky when it comes to chili because I always love my own slow-cooker secret recipe but this pot of chili does just fine. Nibbling on their golden fries is a perfect pair to my ketchup. The fry seasoning is savory.

    Comfortable and relaxing, just the kind of place I want to be when I am enjoying a perfect pint.

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  • 0

    This is my fiance's and I go to place (in our neighborhood) to eat in the summer so we can sit in the 21+ patio out back. Although it's a pub, I have never gotten a drink here so can't personally say anything about that....

    BUT my fiance orders two C-note pints of beer every time. He loves them. He is addicted to them. If I have been mean to him, I take him to this pub and buy him some C-Notes and all is right with our relationship again. :)

    Their food is typical pub food, but always good. The burgers are tastey and the salads have always been fresh when I ordered them. The totchos are my tummy's best friend and my thigh's worst enemy, but I still order them pretty often.

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  • 0

    I like this place.  The food is above average, I like most of what is on the menu.  The prices are reasonable.  Beer on tap isn't bad and the mixed drinks on the menu are suprisingly good.

    Atmosphere is relaxed.  They never seem to be super busy.  I like the outdoor seating a lot.

    Beer selection could be slightly better but then again maybe I am just a picky NW beer snob?

    Service has been fine every time I've been there.

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  • 0

    Oaks Bottom Public House may have secured a spot as my second favorite of the Lompoc brewing outposts (behind the New Old on NW Trendy-Third, just ahead of the 5th Quadrant, way ahead of the Hedge House).

    We ended up at Oaks Bottom after an abortive attempt to grab a drink at the Sellwood Public House (what type of "public house" is closed on Sundays?) and discovered that they actually have a back patio (I'd been here maybe 3 times before and never knew they had seating out back).

    As we entered they told us they were down a server, so while they'd deliver food or drinks to the patio, we'd have to order them inside. No biggie, and it was kinda slow so it didn't really cause any problems.

    I went with a pint of the Proletariat Red - a fine, hoppy, NW Red ale - and ordered up some chicken strips and tots ($7?). At around 4pm on a Sunday we scored happy hour pricing, though whether that's offered just during limited hours or all day on a Sunday I'm not sure.

    A few of the others in our group went with a veggie sandwich special - and raved about it. The "totchos" were probably better in theory than in reality, but still if you like sour cream, cheese, diced tomatoes, and tots than you'll probably enjoy them.

    My chicken strips were pretty fantastic - large and meaty, nice breading, not terribly greasy, good texture. And the tots! Oh, the tots! Lightly seasoned, these were some of the best tots I've had in ages! And I'm not really a fan of mustard sauces, but the honey mustard dip that came with my meal was amazing!

    The server who brought our food to us was pleasant enough, and as our group got a drink or two in us and we started joking around and teasing him: first about him wanting to turn on the patio heaters on a beautiful warm evening, then about his inability to get them lit. He gave as good as he got in the ribbing department, so props to him!

    I'm always a fan of Lompoc beers, and love their commitment to nice outdoor dining (every Lompoc spot has a nice patio). Oaks Bottom doesn't have the most extensive or adventuresome menu, but as far as pub fare goes it's a cut above. Add this to the good wait and bar staff, and Oaks Bottom will always be on my radar when I'm in the Sellwood/Moreland area (which is quite often).

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  • 0

    Man.... I got "Bunk-ed". That's my new term for a place that I have high expectation for from reading all of the great reviews, but then have my world come crashing down and shattering into smithereens after a not so great experience. Just like what happened to me when I went to Bunk Sandwiches. What a let down.

    Totchos. Tater tots + nachos... Sounds great, right? Yea....umm... Not so good. I had to ask for ranch to doctor them bad boys up.

    That was pretty much the story for my whole dinner. It was all just kinda "ehh". Lemonade was watery, cheese burger was ho hum and the root beer was $3 a bottle.

    The thing that really irked my tater was our waiter. He walked past my empty, on the edge of the table (You know... The international sign for "More please!"), glass 8 times before refilling it. Their was another waitress there who had some pep in her step. Her tables looked VERY happy with their full glasses. Out waiter's table? Yea... umm... Not so happy.

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  • 0

    Here's a hot tip, weekend boozers:  Oaks Bottom Pub House has $3 bloody marys and mimosas all day on Sunday.  Let that sink in for a second:  ALL DAY.  Ding ding ding, recession special!  They've also added a couple of lunch specials - half sandwiches and soup for under six bucks.  They have a daily happy hour (discounted snacks, inlcuding mini-totchos and discounted brews) and I believe it is all day Sat/Sun.  

    As thoroughly discussed in the other reviews, yes the totchos are gluttonously delicious and yes the service stinks.  I don't need to recap all of that yet again.  But in general, OBPH does the trick and I think is one of the better NOL spots, definitely better than it's cousin, Hedge House.  

    In the spirit of excessive acronyms in this review, check out the PABST: Provolone, avocado, bacon, sprouts, tomato.  Comes on extra-greased-up, thick sourdough, grilled golden.  Daily soups are consistently good.  Deserts are not- skip those.  I can already see myself posted up on that patio once the weather starts to turn...

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  • 0

    This place haunts my dreams. One day I vow to completely give up everything I own and move to Portland just so that I may come here on a regular basis.

    Will I get fat? Yes.

    Will I become an alcoholic? Well, I guess it could get worse than it already is.

    Will I smell bad? Don't I already? Jeez.

    The totchos. Oh, sweet totchos. 1/2 order of totchos for two people = all you really need. Ever.

    The service....Serial-killer waiter (most of the waiters in Portland strike me as potential serial killers) who is obviously very new, and a snarky hippie lady who sassed my pants off.

    The beer....Lots of it.

    My late review....Inexcusable.

    Viva la totchos!

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  • 0

    There are some things that were made to go together:

    + Peanut butter and jelly
    + Jameson and diet pepsi
    + Arsenic and lace
    + Italians and awesomeness
    + Bread and butter

    And there are some things that were never meant to be:

    - Tater tots and nachos

    You know, to some people this sounds amazing, but I just don't get it. The totcho is a wonder to behold. Perfect, crispy tots that would be fantastic on their own, topped with beans and salsa and jalapeños and sour cream...it just doesn't make any sense to me. And it sounds gross, and looks gross. You wouldn't eat Freedom Fries with salsa...why would you do it with tots?

    Anyway, enough people seemed to like this Oaks Bottom Public House staple that they ordered it and ate it, so whatevs.

    They had a good selection of brews (and there was a cider on the menu!) and cocktails, although the cocktails seemed grossly overpriced. Service was attentive enough, but not extremely cordial. And the bar apparently has a cat that walked around the patio looking for love.

    Oaks Bottom Public House...mixing things that shouldn't be mixed...but adding texture to Sellwood. Unfortunately, it's a rather forgettable destination.

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  • 0

    When I was little and couldn't fall asleep Mother would tuck me in and walk into the bathroom across the hall. I'd hear her turn on the sink and shuffle around the medicine cabinet for a while, clinking together all the pretty bottles I wasn't allowed to touch.  

    Moments later she'd return with a Dixie cup full of what she coined "Sleepy Water".  

    "But what's in it Mom? Mom... mom... what's in it... what's sleepy water... mom?"  (I've sense apologized for being a terribly annoying child.)

    She never would tell.  It wasn't until years later when my little cousins spent the night and Mom was up to her old tricks again that I found out the recipe of her concoction... it was just water.

    Really Mom? That's sneaky...

    Since that illusion is now exposed, I've had to find something else to help me to drift of to dreamland.  While often times it's as simple as a good book I find a certain comfort in a relatively laid back environment and where I can decompress from the days events.

    Oaks Bottom is such a place.  Maybe it's the combination of having "one of those weeks" with one more day to go and a kind-of-muggy-for-Portland summer night, but my recent evening here made me downright sleepy.  

    The pseudo secret back patio is where the yeeps and I spent our time.  Having to walk through the dish room to find it was a little strange, but well worth the investigation to relax on picnic benches under a creatively designed roof.  

    Their NOL brews are good - I tried the golden ale, and though it was pretty nice, OK for the price, can't go wrong if you're in the area, but I don't think it's a destination.  The service is kind of slow, but probably due to the fact that they're so darn busy.    

    But for Portland Beer lovers, Oaks Bottom is just another case of the stuff that dreams are made of.  

    But for this girl it's more like dreams filled with mysterious menu items like "Tot-Chos".

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  • 0

    Oaks Bottom... baby!  You're so unique!

    No, seriously!  Of all the patios I've seen this summer, yours is the only one I could see myself on all year 'round.  That roof of yours?  Damn, baby!  Nobody has a roof like yours.  Plus, you've got a shitload of great beers on tap.  C'mon... who else has that?

    What?  You're worried about your lackluster service?  Awww, sweetie... nobody thinks that... you're just being hard on yourself.  Trust me, your service is fine... I mean FINE!  Mmmm mmm mm.

    Trust me, baby... I don't just want you for your porch and your tot-chos.  I love all of you... I promise.

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  • 0

    I'm not exactly sure what happened here, but I'm pretty sure feral cats, totchos, Garrison Keillor and RC cola were all involved.

    Oaks Bottom feels like that one city on a backpacking trip that you breeze through so quickly you never remember to list it -- jump off the train, grab a beer and a bite, and off you go. Not quite a starting point and not quite a destination.

    That being said, it embodies this mindset of transience well. A covered patio in back for weary travelers to rest up before the next big adventure, a tap full of beers that would make Hofbräuhaus jealous, and a grubbin menu that is sure to satisfy.

    ...But I'll keep my stance that salsa and french fries go together about as well as cucumbers and nutella.

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  • 0

    I thought I would really like this place because I love the 5Q. But it ended up not being as great for me.

    We have tried to go here a few times on a weekend night, always packed with a line.

    For awhile, I was on a burger quest to find the best burger. Hence, I gained a few pounds while doing it. The burger here is not as good as I wanted it to be.

    I will say, at least the LSD was flowing :-)

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  • 0

    Oaks Bottom is owned by the same folks that own 5th Quadrant.  The menus have a lot of similarities but 5th Quadrant is much better.  It was quite busy when we went in but we were able to get a seat w/in 10 minutes.  The seat was pretty uncomfortable and we were squished in next to other tables, they could stand to rearrange the place a bit so that it is more comfortable.  We were pretty floored by the stench of body odor that our waitress had.  At first we couldn't figure out who stunk so badly but after a while we figured it out.  I was horrified every time she came over, especially when she brought over our food.  It was seriously pretty gross.  I feel badly saying something about our waitress, she was nice enough but I can't even begin to tell you how bad the stench was.

    Anyway, the menu was pretty veggie friendly and I love how you can order smaller portions...small salads, cups of soup, stuff like that.  We got the hummus plate and after how delicious the one at 5th Quadrant was I was so excited for it to arrive.  I also got a small salad that had hazelnuts and blue cheese on it and a cup of vegetarian chili.  The hummus plate was OK but all of the veggies were cut way too small to dip into the hummus which was a bummer.  The feta was broken up so small I had a hard time even getting the fork to pick it up to put on the delicious warm pita bread.  The salad was OK too, I forgot to ask for it without dressing which was a bummer because it had way too much dressing on it.  Also, the blue cheese and the hazelnuts were so small they were hard to taste, it seemed to be mostly lettuce.  The vegetarian chili was good, quite spicy actually.  

    Paul got this chicken sandwich that had applewood smoked bacon, avocado, and a few other veggies along with a cup of clam chowder.  He liked his food but he agreed that the food at 5th Quadrant is much better.  

    Overall I would say everything was OK.  Not sure if I would be in a rush to go there again but if we ended up back there one day that would be fine.  But, I would probably walk out again if that same waitress was there.  Sorry, I really don't mean to be rude but..........um, gross.  

    <a href="/redir?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.newoldlompoc.com%2Foaksfood.html&s=a6fe429c5d947b2a8ae07ebf4e21a9dbcedc4ca6740c8fc39f1ced2f3c62d29c" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">http://www.newoldlompoc.…</a>

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  • 0

    When it comes to beer selection, Oaks Bottom never disappoints.  While the expected Lompoc brews are always flowing, you can also expect to find some very original guest kegs on tap.  Working in Sellwood, and living in Milwaukie, Oaks Bottom is a favorite destination after a long day, or when I don't feel like heading into town.

    Summers are the best time to visit, as this is when the outdoor area in the back opens up...when not open, it can be a little difficult to secure a seat without a wait.  The clientele is a good mix of Portland, but without the pretentious "trendy Porltand" people that frequent some of my other favorite establishments (see...Hopworks)

    Plus, any place that serves tots has to be a personal fave...and the pulled pork sandwiches and chicken strips are perfect compliments to a cold pint of C-note.

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  • 0

    You know, despite what everyone so far has said about this place, I've never tried the "tot-chos".  And you know why?  Because their chicken wings are damn near the best appetizer money can buy in Portland. The last time I had them, though, they were a little substandard ONLY because the dang dry-cleaners next door made the OBPH get rid of their outdoor smoker!  Blasphemy!

    The place is working on getting a new, fancy, indoor smoker for all their lovely meats (wings, pulled pork, brisket, etc.)  Until then, I will cast scathing glances toward the offending drycleaners for taking away the best stuff on the menu at OBPH.

    Beyond smoked meats, the beer selection is right on, the hangout factor is high, and everything I've ever had there is spot-on tasty.  Go at unusual times on a Sunday afternoon and you may not even have to wait for a table.

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  • 0

    TOTCHOS!

    That is, TATOR TOT NACHOS, are a brilliant concept, of course.  Oaks Bottom Public House will serve up a pile of tator tots lathered with salsa, beans, sour cream, guacamole, and melted cheese.  Portions are big, so bring somebody to share it with.

    Visit the nearby Portland Memorial Mausoleum or go skating at Oaks Park and finish the afternoon or evening with a huge pile of totchos . There is nothing like them.  

    Don't be surprised if you're punished by a stomach ache after, though.  They are just as delicious, genius, and heavy as you might think.

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