Princeton Bowl

Colerain Bowl, it ain't.

A group of friends decided to go bowling as we're wont to do and didn't want to drive all the way out to Colerain. Princeton Bowl, it is.

A few of us called before arriving and each one of us were told that closing time depends on how busy they are (how delightfully arbitrary), but they would probably stay open until about 1 a.m. or 1:30.

We straggled in, our entire group arriving by 11 p.m. (before getting there, a friend texted to me that the location looked "SKETCHY" the all caps being his choice). The music was cranked up and the super bright strobe lights were in full panic-inducing effect. We grabbed our shoes and ordered some beers.

At this point, I feel as though it would be a great disservice to the yelp community NOT to mention that Princeton Bowl's beer selection leaves a LOT to be desired. They don't even offer Yuengling, for pete's sake.

Also, their shoes will make you wish you had worn much thicker socks.

Moving on.

By midnight, they announced that we should be bowling our last game of the night. What the hell happened to 1 a.m.?

At 12:18, the strobe lights were cut (thank god for small favors), the music was turned off and the house lights were up.

Clearly, we were no longer welcome.

The $80, however, that we dropped on two games for eight people (not to mention the money spent on pitchers and individual cups of beer) was more than welcome, of course.

Thanks, but no thanks, Princeton Bowl.

I usually want to wait till I've been to a place multiple times before writing a review, but since the circumstances of me going here even once were fairly unique, I'll assume I won't be back. I share that back story just so that you may take this review for what it's worth.

So the facilities were clean enough, not skanky but showing the wear of a place that hasn't been updated in awhile. This is fine I think, why does everything have to be all 'pa-chow' new?

I skipped the food options there, just wasn't hungry, but was glad they offered Sam Adam's winter lager on tap.

Had a heckuva time finding a house ball I liked, that's something that can set an alley apart for a casual bowler, but did eventually settle on something workable.

I can't even comment on the cost, since my uncle graciously hosted the whole family.

What I can tell you about, the thing that moves this down to two stars from an otherwise A-OK rating, is the luge course that is their approach area. I have never been on one so damned slick!
Do you remember that riddle from a kid about being on a frictionless surface (like the smoothest iced over lake ever) and needing to figure out how to move across it to the shore? Well the guy who came up with that riddle must've thought it up after throwing 4 consecutive gutter balls at Princeton Bowl.

Not that 'I' did that, mind you.

The effect of this too-smooth surface was that as you release the ball, your arm swings somewhat across your body, typically the inertia of this twisting movement is countered through your feet's contact with the hardwood, but not here.

Every ball drifted left.

And I, for the first time in my life, lost a game of bowling to my little brother.

Oh, actually, i want to follow up on Erik S's comment about the men's urinals. Yeah. They are way high. If you're a short guy you might have to stand a step back and point up.

Was just there today with an event for the urban league. The facilities are decent but dated which is what you can expect from any bowling alley really. The staff was friendly and helpful. Our lane kept getting jammed and wouldn't reset which was a bummer but someone was over to help us out after a few minutes. They have a decent amount of pool tables and some video games. A little ways from where I live but I'd go back again. Nothing Wow'd me really so that the reason for the 3 stars but to be fair, its about what you expect from any bowling alley.

Random TMI observation: the urinals in the Men's room are the tallest I have ever seen. I'm about avg height and I felt like I had to stand on my toes!