Lets see , first  i walk in with two friends, we still down and have a 40 something white trash fatty with no pants on that was drunk take our drink order. bud light , bud , and coke,  she repeats the oder back bud light, miller light ,coke?  no bud , bud light, coke  she repeats bud, miller light, coke right?  jesus  yeah fine  lol.  the drunk bartender also cooks the food,  not a good idea,  no gloves, never washed her hands once! even after smoking outside leaving the bar unattended for 10 mins, (should have took a bottle of liq) :)  ordered a burger with lettuce tomato, cheese and no onion,  and skinny fries,  i got fat potato wedges, and a cheese burger with nothing on it!, lay off the shots sweetie!!! It was 5 pm on a monday  jesus ,  then the bill came, well sort of ,  never got a bill she just said we owe 21$ lol   ohhh fyi, ask the bartender what kind of scotch they have,  she looked down and said we dont have scotch tape! then her saggy boob fell out of her shirt!  please put a bra on these trashy girls,  i would like to eat my food without getting crabs, or food poisoning .  wont be back!  good place to go if your feeling bad about yourself,  check out the staff and crowd, you will feel alot better about your life! :)
Review Source:I agree with the other reviews, they need a pirate flag. In support of this idea, I am going to write my review as a pirate.
Arrrrr matey! Welcome aboard the Salty Dog. Hope you brought your sea legs because this boat is about to set sail to dive bar paradise.
Shiver me timbers. Make sure you watch your step as you board or you might tumble down to the galley. There's seating around the bar for a dozen scallywags and a table in the corner for a small group of landlubbers (bare with me, I'm almost out of piratey things to say). Â
Blow me down... there are plenty of Grog specials here as long as you like cheap beer (Bud, Miller, etc.) and well drinks. Make sure you bring cash or you'll walk the plank... or use the ATM in the corner. They don't accept plastic or booty. They have normal bar grub, I've tried the seasoned fries with chili and cheese and lived to tell the tale.
The Cap'n watches over the bar in the crow's nest and during Christmas time, they switch him out for Santa Claus. I have never went exploring, but I believe the 'poop deck' is downstairs (pirate pun intended). There is an upstairs that is no longer in use, which has some tables and a DJ booth (too dark to make anything else out), and I wish that they would bring that back. I'm assuming it hasn't been used since the Bee Gees were in the top 10, but I didn't ask. Overall, I give it 5+ stars for being a dive bar/boat, but I have to rate this fairly against other establishments so 2 stars.
This place is NASTY. Â We came here after our softball game thinking it would be a good time but we were so wrong. Â Walking in, it's so dark you can't see anything. Â You turn to your left and walk down a narrow hallway with a floor that tilts downwards as you walk. Â It's super narrow the whole way through. Â As I walked past the bar I spotted the bartender, who was wearing a shirt with no pants and definitely no bra. Â I would have PAID her to put some clothes on. Â Unfortunately the ladies here do not look like the ladies at Hooters - they are not the kind you want to see undressed. Â There were 2 other creep-tastic old guys sitting at the bar and one went to the jukebox and began playing some kind of psychadelic music that sounded like a hundred cats dying. Â We had one beer and decided to leave because the place was just so FRIGGIN WEIRD.
Review Source:OK, so the drinks are stupid cheap.
That said, the rest of the Salty Dog experience is a two-star at best. Â The bar is shaped like a boat, which should be amazing, but there's sort of a lack of commitment there. Â The outside of the building just looks like a sub-par structure, lacking windows and basically, everything else. Â Put up a pirate flag at least! Â Something.
The near-nudity of the bar staff is also somehow lacking. Â While I can totally get on board with the kitsch style, a). how does the Risky-Business-meets- 8-Mile look fit the boat theme?, b). if this isn't a strip club, why am I seeing full nudity?, and c). just plain WHY?? Â I love Risky Business, and maybe Risky Business on a boat, but there's a way to do it without the creepy desperation.
And oh the music. Â Internet jukeboxes are a dangerous thing - too many options can lead to poor music choices ruining the ambiance- and in the Salty Dog it's even worse. Â Imagine poor music choices (all made by the bartender) with absolutely no continuity (moving from Que Sera, Sera-esque to no-name light rock 2000s) and turn the volume so loud that your eardrums vibrate.
Finally, the thing that really ruined this bar for me- as a lover of dive bars, bad music, weird themes, and a lack of commitment are not enough to drive me away- but pretension? Â That is one thing I cannot abide.
While it's a semi-kitschy night out in Madison Heights, there are so many better dives in the area with non-pretentious barstaff that it's not even really worth the effort.
Arrrgghhhh!!!!! It's the Salty Dog!!!! It's a cool dive bar. Drinks are cheap. I went on a Friday and drafts were $2 and mixed drinks were $2.50. The mixed drinks weren't super strong but not too bad. The beer selection is something to be desired with 3 on tap. Nothing else, that's it. The female waitress was wearing a potato sack and not much more. I saw nipple approximately 5 times when I was there. Gross but you can't help but look. It'd be a cool place to get into a fight, I would imagine. A good mix of old vets and some yo dawgs blasting hip hop. The juke box is cool as it's those computerized ones with a crazy digital library so you can blast whatever the hell you want. I'd def go back with a bunch of friends...
Review Source:I stopped in here, for a beer after work. Drove by, and saw the ship, and just had to stop. After ordering a beer, I grabbed my iPhone and checked yelp to see if the food was any good. Started reading the reviews, and.... saw the "no pants" comments. And after a second look at the bartender... HOLY CRAP!.... No pants.
Had a burger, and it was pretty good.
Okay. Â IT'S A BOAT SHAPED BAR. Â I thought, "This is going to be awesome! Why not try something new right?" So a group of thirsty friends set out to find this place they call the Salty Dog. Â
It was probably about 10pm or so, our caravan drives into the lot, and there are two other cars in the lot. Â We walk in and, it looks like a boat inside too. Â The other reviewers aren't kidding when they say that, Not many girls hang out here. Â I guess the draw that the bartenders don't wear pants isn't a selling point for females. Â I can't attest to whether the bartenders wear pants or not because, after ten minutes of sitting uncomfortably with the natives at this bar, we didn't see anyone who was supposed to be serving here. Â One guy did help himself over the counter, but I wasn't going to ask if he was allowed to do that. Â
After a few more minutes of waiting for seemingly no one to come serve us a drink, we all left. Â
It was probably one of the more odd experiences I have had visiting a bar...if you are looking for something new to try, I suppose this place would be a good experience.
You've read about the pirate-ship shape of the place and the bartenders' costumes. This is fun and all, but there's rarely more than one girl working and the oddly-shaped bar gets crowded and cramped with all the guys trying to get near the lone woman in the place.
This dive is not retro hipster cool. It's just a dive, which does make it appealing.
These two things have already been stated, but any review would be remiss without getting them out of the way:
A) Yes, it is a bar in the shape of a pirate ship.
B) The waitresses forgo pants by wearing some sort of Von Heusen shirt belted into a skirt.
These are things in that are worth experiencing at least once in your lifetime. And the drinks, though watery, are fairly cheap.
The downside I suppose is there's a certain element that populate a bar with cheap drinks and pantless waitresses. A group of friends and mine were fairly inebriated when we went in, and decided we needed a better class of music. I made a selection of Michael McDonald/Kenny Loggins Yacht Rock classics. Another friend went more 80s new wave. A third went hardcore Metallica. When we left, one friend forgot his jacket and when he went back in to get it he heard "They invaded our bar and played all that shit music."
I guess there's no accounting for taste.
As it's already been stated, the Salty Dog is in fact shaped like a big wooden pirate ship. Yet, somehow, I always miss it when I'm looking for it and have to turn around down the street. Is this a metaphor for the bar in general? Not really.
It's true, the all-female bartending staff all wear flesh-colored leggings (sometimes no leggings at all), bikini bottoms and tops, and a long white button-down shirt unbuttoned and cinched at the waist with a belt. If you've been to enough dive bars, you've seen this sort of thing before. It's not that uncommon (see: The Bronco Bar in Livonia).
I heard the prices went up recently, but the omnipresent beer special is draft Bud Light or draft Miller Lite, always served in a frosty mug. The last time I was there, the special was $1.63 per draft. My roommate claims they raised it to $1.65. We were there one time, and he asked why the beers were $1.63, and not a 'rounder' and easier to deal with number. The bartender said that the draft special was once $1.50, but one of the TVs broke, and they had to pay for it somehow.
There are no tabs at The Salty Dog. If you sit at a table or at the bar and order food, you must pay for it right after you order. I suppose it isn't that odd, but I'm not used to this in a bar. I can handle paying for my drinks one at a time, but the food, too? By the way, the burgers are pretty good. So are the seasoned fries. And I've heard they make a mean ribwich. Otherwise, I've heard that some of the other food is pretty good bar food.
The jukebox has some particularly odd choices. I feel like a well-rounded individual when it comes to music, but this jukebox is just damned confusing. Lots of stuff I'm not familiar with. And that's in addition to lots of country, and lots of bands like Journey and The Scorpions. They also have an electronic dartboard, two pool tables, and a bar shaped like the hull of a boat (read: v-shaped). The walls are all covered in wood planks, and the rest of the decor is reminiscent of a coastal crab shack in Massachusetts with lots of nautical-looking ropes and knick-knacks.
When you first walk in the side-entrance, be careful. It's very dark in there, and smaller than you'd expect, and once you start walking towards the lounge area, there's one step going down. Don't trip.
Note: not many women go to this bar. One time, a friend of mine was there and had to go to the bathroom. She went downstairs to the restroom (not as creepy as it initially seems), walked in, and found the female bartender in one of the stalls with the door wide open. Both were startled, but the bartender explained that she's not accustomed to having female customers and didn't bother closing the stall door. Then she offered my friend a job. (she didn't take up the offer)
This is one of those bars that's less about the other people and more about making the best of what's available to you. It does have a certain tough-to-describe, yet inviting atmosphere, and I like it, but it's best when you bring at least one friend with you. Preferably a party-starter type.
There are mere reasons why I can suggest why one would want to venture to Madison Height's Salty Dog bar, for the most part one needs to make a trip to Lincoln and john R to truly experience the Salty Dog. I am under the impression there are no apt words in the American language dictionary that describe this joint. Here are those mere reasons...
1)It's shaped like a wooden pirate ship
2)The female bartenders don't wear pants, but instead opt for a "Risky Business" type uniform, wearing men's white dress shirts
3)The jukebox that is loaded with all you trashy, rockin' faves like Lynyrd Skynard's entire library and lots of country.
4)Did I mention the bartenders don't wear pants?
5)The continuous NASCAR playing on the big screen TV.
6)The bartenders don't wear pants.
7)The odd drink prices, that always have me leaving with tons of pennies in my pocket. ($1.70 beers during happy hour).
8)The cowboys with their ten gallon hates that frequent the joint and strike up the oddest of conversations.
9)The rest of the interesting folk that frequent this joint from school teachers to mechanics.
So, all in all The Salty Dog seems a bit like a social experiment, but filled with fun and adventure. So, get your social science on at the Salty Dog and have a few gin and tonics in tiny Dixie cups that seem harmless, but after sipping on one will kick you in the rear. Oh yeah!
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