Woofers & Tweeters Bar & Grill

Karaoke is a great idea.  Could do so much more with a remodel.

I LOVE this place. You can drink, you can dance, you can eat, you can even sing Karaoke! What more do you need.  My opinion is a bit biased however since my pic is on the wall, but still this place is great.  Midland is a rather boring place, as is the rest of west texas, this place provides a much needed break from the boringness.  Its a great place to hang w/ the girls, or the guys for that matter!

I was really tempted to make this my 369th review for purposes that shall become obvious later on in this review.  This Midland bar is rather unspectacular and seems to offer nothing more than a loathesome karaoke experience.  Yet, like the city of Midland - once a booming oil town that has been reduced to a shell of its promise - Woofers & Tweeters is not just a generic if not horrific karaoke bar.  It once held a great deal of promise.  A promise that nearly every adolescent young male holds as a fantasy.  A fantasy only achieved by 1 out of every 6 of my male brethren (I have no idea where I got that stat so feel free to call me out).  

(in my best Borat voice):  YESSSSS!!!!  I AM TALKING ABOUT THE MENAGE-A-TROIS!!!!  I LIKE IT!!!!!

Previous to the glory days of travel throughout all parts of the United States, I was paying my dues as a young associate in a mid-sized firm in downtown Amarillo.  Amarillo was one hell of a depressing town.  Indeed, at one point, I even wrote a list of my "top 10 Amarillo moments" (PM for a copy - I still have it) as a sort of misguided self-therapy.  It didn't work.

One day, I found out that I was going to be sent down to Midland, TX for three weeks to review some documents.  As any attorney will tell you, document review is the absolute WORST assignment one could receive.  So while the other new associate was covering the Enron trial in Houston, TX, I was sent sulking to bumfuck middle of nowhere Texas to review never-ending boxes of paper documents.  

It ended up that Midland was much better than anticipated.  There were a couple of decent places to eat and it was actually quite modern compared to my surroundings at the time in the Panhandle of Texas.  Surprisingly, I was having a great time.  The last night I was there, I even found time to go out to the karaoke bar that serves the basis of this story.

I can't remember exactly what I ordered, but it was clear that this was a locals bar.  Yet, I did notice that one of the waitresses was hot and immediately began ordering from her.  At some point, the waitress and I got into a conversation that became progressively lurid.  As we continued to engage in our lecherous tete-a-tete, I had ideas that maybe I wanted to take this a bit past closing time.  I shared my idea with her to which she responded, "My friend and I would love to take care of you tonight."

Wow.  Unlike my unfortunate experience at Cafe Saint Ex (DC) and much more like a wholly awesome experience I had back in Amarillo, this little get together only involved one dude - me.  I began pounding beers, cocky in my impending victory.  Big mistake.

When we got to the hotel, I passed out.  Completely.  Fully.  Sadly.  When I woke up the next morning, they were gone.  No money was stolen; all my belongings were still there.  But yet, I couldn't mistake that I had blown it.  This was akin to throwing a perfect game through 8 innings and then somehow losing not only the perfect game in the 9th but the whole damn game.  So yes, Woofers & Tweeters almost allowed me to pull 2/3 of the most glorious hat trick.  But almost never gets the job done, son.   As such, only 2 stars for Woofers & Tweeters.