Long Branch Saloon Inc

RJ and I have been to the Long Branch half a dozen times.  It's a perfectly fine dive bar, booze, pool table and a good old fashion," I've been drinking for 12, 775 consecutive days and today's 12,776", spirit.

The handle bar moustache owner is usually eager to tell you anything he thinks you want to hear. Tales of soon to be installed large flat screen TVs for the upcoming football season are my favorite. Like anyone with a handle bar moustache, he twirls it, a lot. Somehow affiliated with nearby Lunardi's Meat,  Mr. Moustache offered us salami being sliced by who I'm fairly certain is his wife. The process in which the salami was being desecrated reminded me of a time growing up when my best friends little brother cut down a neighbors tree with only a small hand axe. The tree fell and the salami was cut but in both instances the danger and unnecessary mutilation caused by a lack of skill and ill appropriated tools created a queer uneasiness, not to mention questions as to their mental make-up. Of course Salami is delicious and even better when paired with cedar cheese. There are no draft beers. Bottles of beer are served from a enormous white cooler not unlike the ones sold at Costco. The Long Branch has some cool memorabilia, most notable are the 60's and 70's era Oakland Raider helmets behind the bar. It was an exercise in temptation one afternoon as the entire bar emptied to the back parking lot to see the latest in pirated Oakland A's and Raider's t-shirts being pedaled from the trunk of a Cadillac. How easy it would be to grab the helmets and walk out. It would be days before anyone would notice they were gone. If by chance someone saw us there was no one fast or sober enough to catch us. Luckily RJ was the voice of reason and reminded me we're cops. Last time I was there the helmets remained.

If for nothing else you need to go to the Long Branch just to see and chat with the owners wife.  Bell, Biv, Devoe once sang, "Never trust a big butt and a pretty smile". If you take life's cues from Bell, Biv, Devoe as I do, under no circumstances should anyone put their confidence in this women. - Puddingstone

i asked the bartender what kind of draft they had.

she replied: "bud, bud light, mgd, heinken, etc."

me: "where is it?"

bartender:  "it's behind me" turns around, looks at the  inoperative draft nozzles and tells me, "they're in bottles"

me: "i'll have a gin tonic(4)"

she then proceeded to make it with tonic water from a plastic bottle.
the gin tonic came in a large drinking glass and was pretty weak. got a mgd (3) and the beer wasn't that cold.

there's a pool table here surrounded by a wooden corral. there's also a dart board in the corner and a gaming catch-em machine where you grope for prizes with a steel arm. there's a group of friends and family who seem to see this place as their 2nd home.

me? i feel  like  the 3 fish  swimming in the darken fish tank wth the two large abalone shells.