The Lumberyard

This stripclub is not bad at all. The girls are OK looking. What I like about this place, it's BYOB. Bring your own beer.This place is better than Heavenly Bodies in Illinios, that's for sure. The girls at Heavenly Bodies look like the Spice Girls on crack. They also play good hip hop music at this place. This place can give any stripclub in Illinios a run for it's money. That's a dam shame, a stripclub in little Iowa is just about better than any stripclub in Illinios.

This place was disappointing. We went this weekend and it was just, weird. The girls were like ROBOTS. There were two girls to a stage, and all they did was walk down the row of guys sitting there like it was an assembly line for them to show off their goods. Barely any dancing, (and I mean hardly any at all.) I tried to look several of them in the eye to get their attention, but all they do is stare blankly at nothing, and randomly crawl over to another guy to give him a mini strip tease or grind on him or the stage for a few seconds. How is this stripping? It's more like a cattle call.

I've been to quite a few strip clubs in different states and I felt so weird at the Lumberyard. These girls do NOT look like they enjoy what they do, and if that is the case, they should find a different job. Going here made me feel BAD for them. Every other place I've gone the girls at least know how to make the customers have a fun time, either by talking to them or having fun on stage. There was none of this at The Lumberyard.

The layout is also horrible. Cramped bar stools lined up along high stages, but tons of room along the walls. If you aren't sitting at the edge of the stage, you won't get ANY attention. I think we had maybe 3 or 4 girls come up to us the whole night, and we were there at least four hours. I am a good looking girl, and my boyfriend and his two friends are young, in shape, attractive, and respectful guys. So what gives?

Two stars for the small amount of fun I did have dancing to a few good songs that played, and the upstairs area in the back with the VIP looking booth we sat at for free. Also, we had no problems with the bouncers or management.

I feel bad for people who think this is a great strip club. Most of the guys there looked like they were having fun (for obvious reasons) and I don't blame them, but they probably don't know what a real strip club is like so they have nothing to compare it to. I don't know how this place isn't on Yelp yet since there are hundreds of reviews on a local Iowa rating site, and when I tried to add a review there it wouldn't let me submit it. Also, the women's bathroom here is a complete JOKE. It was smaller than small, trash spilling on the floor. DIRTY and GROSS. If you are a lady coming to the Lumberyard I suggest you don't drink anything and bring some hand sanitizer so you can avoid going in that dungeon.