Paper Moon

Girls are no good. They looked bored. Lap dances were mediocre. Waitress were not much better. The only reason I gave it two stars was because some of the dancers were nice to me. It was disappointing.

One of the worst strip clubs I've been to.  The girls are far less than attractive, the cocktail waitress are no better, and the beers are way to expensive.  I've been here twice for birthday parties (for girls surprisingly) and have only seen 1 attractive dancer.

Oh man, nothing like grade B skanks that are past their prime.  Well, except for the occasional porn star who is gracing their stage while she's waiting for the antis to kick the crotch crickets so she can get back to making movies, this club will still serve your needs for the gyrations of flesh mountains and triangle clad hoo-hoos.  But to be positive for those who want to try it, here are a few lessons learned to save you the trouble:

1.  Never pay for a beer with a $20.  Magically, you will get your change in stripper bait.  All of it.

2.  Ensure you don't use all of the said change that arrived as stripper bait for the strippers.  Otherwise, you'll be back at square one when you have to buy your next beer with a $20.

3.  No matter what she tells you, she's not going to college.

4.  Champagne rooms without trying the goods via a lapdance is a no-no - that's tantamount to buying a used car without taking it for a test drive.  Why would you want three to five songs ($60 - 100) if she sucks at lap dancing?  FAIL.

5.  Don't touch.  Remember King King Bundy who checked your ID?  He'll lay you out flat on your ass and you'll be picking yourself up off of the parking lot floor before you know it.