Not that this place needs another great review, but what a wonderful place to relax and chill out. As a woman, dive bars stress me out- I want to go into a place in jeans and a t-shirt and not feel under-dressed, but I also don't want some dude with a toothy grin following me back out to the car, either. Portal's Tavern attracted the right kind of people, and with the right kind of price (cocktails averaging around $4-5). I went on a Monday, which was an open mic comedy night. The environment was so intimate and friendly, it made up for the (let's be honest) bad comedy. My new favorite neighborhood bar!
Review Source:First time going to a bar and I really enjoyed the service that was given. Â Such a friendly atmosphere and the bartender, Don, really takes care of you. Â My friend and I weren't too sure of what to get but Don was really helpful and informative. Â It was an awesome experience for my friend and I!
Review Source:Oh what a night, indeed.
I stopped by Portal's Tavern after being disappointed by the not-so-recent overhaul of Joxer Daly's (Read: I was already two beers in.)
I was greeted by a friendly bartender, and I ordered yet another beer. Â I was (supposedly) just trying to have a quiet night with a book and a brew. Â Five minutes later, some dude sits at the bar and proceeds to talk about the hefty bowel movement he just had. Â He was 86'ed promptly. Â I probably should have taken that as a cue to leave, but....
Some other dude came and sat next to me at the bar. Â He proceeds to tell me he's a registered nurse etc., and then the bartender gets in on the conversation. Â The bartender completely called him out---said he's not a registered nurse and that he lives with his mom off of her monthly disability payments(!) Â This is the kind of random BS that I find very amusing. Â I excused myself and went to the bathroom, where I waited 5 minutes before I made a hasty Irish exit (I physically ran out of that place). Â Also, big ups to the bartender for getting my back on that one! Â
So fun.
Steps from the 14th Avenue stop for the K and M, an art-deco facade emblazoned with the words "Portal's Tavern" beckons. Inside lies a dark interior, christmas lights hanging from the ceiling, and a pinball machine (featuring THE SHADOW!) calling out its siren song of high scores and point multipliers.
Semi-grouchy bartenders who have seen better days minister to patrons possibly carved from a meeting of barstool fabric and whiskey stalagmites. A classic Wurlitzer jukebox sits Buddha-like the corner, beaming its neon benevolence into the darkest corners of a mans soul, the hits of my father's generation on CDs reminding its acolytes of better days and better lyrics. Its easy to step in and age 50 years, time and tides coming to apotheosis in a place untouched by hipsters, where the increasing gentrification of San Francisco is just a malicious rumor, washed away by doo-wop and Mel Torme, the low burble of conversations and raucous roar of arguments going on their second decade of existence filling in when these two panaceas fail. Some days, a crock pot filled with pasta or hot dogs will beckon, offering free wares for those who come in looking for succor during daytime.
Martinis and Manhattans are served like a Denny's shake, amply sized and with a double old fashioned glass alongside holding enough extra booze for seconds. On a good day, (if the bartender likes you), you'll be out four dollars. On a bad day, you might be out six. Requests for Fernet will earn you the stink-eye, requests for boilermakers will earn you begrudging respect. Well drinks will come strongly poured, with surprisingly good liquor (Old Crow Bourbon, for example). Doubles are to be ordered at considerable risk to life and limb, and only in the case of a bad breakup or by those wouldn't mind the phrase "Cirrhosis of the Liver" on their death certificate down at the County Coroner's Office. Four beers are offered, and two flavors of wine: cheap-shit red and cheap-shit white. Don't try to order something with more than three ingredients.
There is a back patio near the Men's room (where the urinal is oft filled with ice). Hard-tack concrete is adorned with six wrought-iron chairs to hold the frames of smokers or graduate students on sunny days. Ivy climbs the walls, trying to escape.
There are no sublime truths to be found here, no life-changing cocktails. This is no place to have a Facebook profile picture taken, it will never sponsor a Yelp Elite Event. All that exists is a steady flow of alcohol, mingling with the remnants of good times long gone, combining to form one of the last bars in San Francisco that doesn't care who you are, doesn't care how you dress, and doesn't care what you order. If you enter this place a humble pilgrim in search of a good drink, as generations of San Franciscans have done, you may walk out understanding a neighborhood drinking culture that has become extinct in many parts of our changing city. On the other hand, you may not. Don't worry about the outcome, you'll be welcome here regardless.
Pros:
-Chatty Bartender
-Cheap drinks
-Outdated Almanacs
-Would have gotten a slim jim for free but I insisted I pay.
Cons:
-It's in the City.
Give me a good glass of rye for $5 and a good quiet atmosphere to enjoy myself, and you automatically have 4 stars. Â If you want a nice place to have a drink, this is it.
Don't be scared, they don't bite. (A few girls popped their heads in and decided, no.) Â Stopped in to catch the end of the Giants game today. We won in Ten!. Â Everyone knew each other (except me) on a first name basis. Â Even as a stranger the bar was quite cozy--and the music was killer--Joe Jackson?
After a few drinks the owner filled me up without asking, gratis. Â Can't beat that.
I don't want to say any more, as you'd likely show up if you found yourself in the neighborhood--any influx here would upset the balance. Â Or not, it seems like it would take a bomb to throw this place off. Â
Come if you're comfortable drinking alone, watching the giants win among people who've known each other for decades.
I was a little apprehensive about coming here for a party because I felt like I was going to the other end of the earth, however the location isn't as remote as I thought! Â And the bar is great! Â While our group consumed most of the bar, I can't judge what crowds are normally like. Â Definitely a locals scene. Â The bartender is extremely personable and very attentive to the patrons. Â Drinks are reasonably priced. Â Downer that they don't take plastic, but it's not a deal breaker and I look forward to returning VERY SOON!
P.S. Â I love the jukebox despite my friend Jim's strong influence. Â His taste in music is a bit questionable. Â I think it might be my favorite jukebox of all time. Â A little bit of music from every era, questionable or not, and surely contains something that will conjure up a lovely memory for most everyone. Â Including me!
when you look up "friendly, down home, neighborhood bar" in the dictionary, you will find a picture of portals tavern. The night my friend (who actually lives in the 'hood) decided we should check it out, we were in luck. A very lively crowd was celebrating the birthday of one of their regulars. There was some rockin' karaoke going down, and steveo was king! One of my favorite things was a set of vingtage postcards with photos of the 1906 earthquake devistation that were framed and hanging on one of the walls. I felt the history of this bar as a san francisco and west portal instution was alive and well as soon as I walked through the doors.
you rock, portals tavern!
Stopped here last night on St Paddy evening - it was a great time w/ all of the locals. Everyone is cool in this place - especially the bartenders.
You have to be able to take a joke going in here if you give it - this guy Randy is a riot, just so damned funny and his eyes sparkle wide open like a kid. Weird thing to say but I mean it in a good way. hehe.
Stop by here anytime - these are some of the funniest bartenders in the city.
As dive bars go, this one is decent. Drink prices are reasonable and mixed drinks were fairly strong. I went here to catch the giants game and realized it was a mistake because only 2 out of the 3 TV's in the place work and there was about a 2 second delay between them!
Bottom line: go here for a late night drink but go elsewhere to watch the game.
Sometimes, all you want is a drink. Â Popped in here briefly after work for a quick one last night and realized that this is a great place to escape and unwind. Â As most of my good friends know, I love upscale places, but am also know the value of a good dive or neighborhood tavern.
In life, it's all about expectations. Â For obvious reasons, you won't meet your next supermodel girlfriend (or boyfriend) in here (West Portal is full of them) and you certainly won't come for the trendy decor or the see and be scene crowd. Â However, if you are looking for a nice, reliable neighborhood bar where you can hang and enjoy a nice peaceful drink in comfortable surroundings, Portal's Tavern is a great place. Â The fact that it seems a little hidden adds to the experience.
Randy the bartender is a great guy (works weeknights) and always makes you feel at home. Â Whether you live at the bar or come once in a blue moon, he remembers you and is always welcoming...that is the true hallmark of a good neighborhood bar.
My only true beef with this place is that with all that space it cries out for a pool table, but none exists. Â If they had one, I'm sure the place would make a lot more $ as a lot more people would come in. Â
Regardless, I'm up'ing it a star.
It's like a classy dive bar, if that makes sense. Came upon this place after hoisting a few at the Philosopher's Club, and really enjoyed the vibe. It's dark, it's pretty big, and the regulars are a lot of laughs.
Sat next to a guy that looked like William S. Burroughs in "Drugstore Cowboy." Bartender has an awesome Tom Waits growl to his voice. The drinks were strong, and cheaper than the Philly, so we stayed a while.
They have a Dirty Harry pinball machine and a Centipide cocktail table arcade game. How can you go wrong with that?
Great place, will def. be back.
Wow, what a find.
I was in West Portal with a buddy and decided to give this place a shot. Best idea ever.
The bar is dark, cavernous even. A lot of old brick. Dirty Harry Pinball machine. Vintage sit-down Centipede arcade game. We were greeted by a crazy old dude sporting curious jewelry who looked like he was straight out of a David Lynch film.
This place is not for everyone, but dive bar enthusiasts will recognize the simple beauty of Portal's.
I have nothing but kind words to say about this place and its hospitality. After a botched night out (see my review for Voiz Music Studio), my friends and I came back to this bar, which had a friendly and welcoming vibe. A divey, yet homey place, with cheap drinks. It was nice to get away from the typical crowded Mission bars and have a night out where you could actually talk to people without having to shout.
Plus a star for the friendly bartender who made me a new Long Island after my first one got knocked out of my hand (or did I spill it?) And another one for the sweet couple who gave us $2 to spend on jukebox tunes, so we could sing out loud to all the tunes that we couldn't sing on our failed attempt to the karaoke studio.
Um...no thanks!!!!!  Pass!  And believe me, this is a BIG deal...I'm all about the dive bars...wasn't expecting much...and with this place, my expectations were still too high!  It seems like the clientele consists of 8-10 people that were rejects from a "Grumpy Old Men" casting session...they all know each other and think they are hot sh*T and the goal seems to be to make anyone NOT in the group of 8-10 people who dare to enter the bar feel unwelcome! Gee, GREAT business strategy! How does this place stay open is what I wonder!? Guess that 8-10 people just  LIVE there and spend all of their social security checks on watered down drinks!  Yecch!  Never again!  The Dubliner (across the street and down 1 block) is much more fun!! (and they take credit cards..where Portals does not)  Too-da-loo Portals!
Review Source:I'm amazed I haven't gotten around to reviewing this place, considering how often I go.
It's a lovely alcoholic's dive bar. Â They have beer and liquor but none of it's top shelf. Â They have darts and a decent jukebox. Not too many young people or squawking girls. Â I just like to sit and watch a baseball game or write. Â It's no frills all the way baby.
I have to thank my fellow yelpers for this place. Â I love checking out new and different bars that i usually wouldnt go to, and thanks to yelp, i found portals tavern. Â Now from the outside, it looked rather uninviting. Â as i passed this place once before. Â but yesterday was the day i entered. Â
As i entered, the first thing that struck me was the rounded brick bar. Â Then i noticed that my friend and i were the only asian people in the bar. Â Then i noticed that we were signifigantly younger than the other clientelle. Â But the bartender Randy i believe was his name, made me feel very welcome. Â It seems to be a really local place and everyone knows everyone else. Â The customers were friendly and talkative and made me feel accepted as if i walked into their own homes for a drink. Â
Randy was hillarious, and cracked jokes and was making sure we were doing alright and always had a full glass of whatever we were drinking. Â It was bourbon for me.
Not at all pretentious and a very laid back down to earth friendly cozy place. Â Plus there was an outdoor patio. Â i will definately be comming back.
We went to see the new Woody Allen movie at CineArts Empire last night. The frequency of wine drinking in the movie made us seriously crave a drink (or is it life that makes us crave drinks?). We looked around beside the theater, but there didn't seem to be too many appealing options.
As we're ambling down the street, the man spies a guy in the freakiest t-shirt ever (apparently the front was covered in rhinestones or some nonsense). Anyway, he saw the front, I didn't, so we followed the guy down the street as much as we could. He got into a car right in front of Portal's Tavern.
This place is definitely up our collective alley. We walked in and the mood was jovial, the crowd was mostly over 50, and we were welcomed with open arms. The bar area was packed, so we ordered our drinks and headed to the back, affectionately now known by us as the VIP section.
Karaoke was just starting and we found ourselves unable to leave. The fun was contagious, the jolliness was infectious, and although they didn't have "Don't Go Breakin' My Heart" by Elton John and Kiki Dee for us to do a duet to, we did manage to bring down the house with a rousing rendition of "Play That Funky Music White Boy."
The barmaid bought us a round, we met some pretty amazing folks, and although I don't see us making it back there too often merely for its remote location, if we do find ourselves in West Portal, we know we will have a good time at Portal's Tavern.
Oh yea, and you know this is a quality place if the entire bar staff hangs out there on their nights off.
My Dad used to go have a drink there when he was my age. That says something.
The beer is cold, TVs are on and if you can find a spot at the bar, the people sitting next to you are friendly. This is not a hipster joint and that's what's great about it. Â It's just a nice, neighborhood spot.
Love Portal's Tavern. Â Seriously. Â This is the spot for the afterparty to just about every party I go to. Â Randy's always a pleasure to be around when he's cursing people out. Â And when he's giving me the eye for being too drunk when I last came in and requested tea. Â But wait!! Â Randy got me the blue stuff. Â No, not sugar. Â I requested the "blue stuff" and after some digging, he found it! Â Randy's my hero!
Everyone is completely welcoming here...whether you fit in or not. Â You may not always get the cheery welcome at Portal's that you're accustomed to from other joints, but you're welcomed just the same. Â It's one of those places that's good both day and night. Â And did I mention that I live stumbling distance from this place, so that makes it THAT much better?!?! Â Rock on Portal's, rock on!!
Randy...just about my favorite bartender in the whole world! Â Yes, if Will Ferrell from SNL was a member of this fine establishment, that is probably what he would say. Â There are a couple of reasons why this is probably my favorite bar on WP. Â
Reason #10... There is a PAC MAN machine
#9...Yes, there is a pac man machine
#8 There are no bar fights
#7 I can find my dad here at around 12 in the afternoon
#6 There is no cover charge even though there probably should be
#5 The round bar is ideal for open seminars and UN politically correct talk
#4 The life size statue of Jerry Rice that is made out of wood!
#3 The fact that everyone picks on you and cracks jokes about your momma, not because they do not like you but because they love you! #2 The fact that I am part of this club
#1 Â The regulars make drinking at any time during the day look like an acceptable hobby.
Five songs for a dollar (with kickass selection: see "Portal's Favorites" discs 1-5), and a personable and interesting swashbuckler named Don runs the place and often works the bar.  Great mix of lifelong alcoholics, college kids trying the bar out for the one and only time in their  young lives, and West Portal's blue collar locals.
I discovered my new drink, the old fashioned, here. Â Made the 1.5 block walk here with my roommates one Sunday morning with a dozen eggs, and Don whipped us up some Ramus Fizz'es. Â There is no nonsense here, nor fakery.
Portal's is the real deal.
Stop #3 on the West Portal pub tour...
Portal's was easily the high point of the pub tour, and of the West Portal bar scene in general. Â Our little tour group reached a whopping 5 people here, thanks to the arrival of Grace and Mary.
Now were you not determined to hit every bar in West Portal, you'd probably never come in here, so uninviting is the outside of the place. Â But then, if you were smart and checked out the stellar Yelp reviews first, maybe you'd give it a shot after all. Â So what sets Portal's apart? Â Aside from the old-school authenticity of the interior (and sweet-looking arc of a bar), it clearly has a dedicated following of locals. Â But I didn't get any vibes of unwelcomeness. Â Certainly I'm a lot younger than the typical patrons, but I like to think of myself as old and boring for my age so I could probably fit right in. Â Plus, I *am* a local too.
Overall, not only is Portal's the best bar in West Portal, it's the best bar on the west side if you want to be free of both obstreperous yuppies and sketchy barflies, or as Mike W puts it, if you're looking for the "middle ground".
Of the many, many bars in West Portal I chose this out of the blue  based on the blank 1950s storefront, the type my parents taught me was a one way ticket to a wasted life, spouse abuse, and multiple amputations.  They must do that on purpose, make it look like you don't want to go in.  There is absolutely no way to know what lies inside, and if you fling the door open you're committed because in the time it takes your pupils to adjust to the darkness inside everyone is staring at you and you would be an insulting idiot to turn around and walk way.  That scares the yuppies.
Two steps past this portal to ruin and I was hooked, the bartender and patrons were so warm I felt like an old friend coming home for the day. Â Not in a cutesy or forced or customer service way, just a goodness to it all, a wholesomeness. Â And after giving me precisely the right amount of time the bartender said, with the effortlessness of a professional, "what'll it be?" Â Damn, that guy is good.
Crowd is neither young nor old, not white or black, or anything.  Just people.  It's okay to pick your nose, or put your hand on your girl's ass  while you sit, nobody bats an eye at anything.
The decoration is like an old pizza parlor, lots of random stuff that' no paid decorator could get this perfect. Â Informal but no dive -- no naked boobs or velvet Elvises here. Â Framed Giants schedule, cut-out whiskey barrels, primitive folk paintings of the neighborhood, an original newspaper printed just before the '06 earthquake. Â There was a stew pot of something they had cooked up for happy hour. Â The best part, they print out the good Yelp reviews and tack them to the wall. Â Whatever could be better than that?
Prices are about normal. Â Everything here is normal. Â You're normal, I'm normal. Â Pours are decent.
Good thing my parents never told me the truth, I would have spent my teenage years here instead of doing my math homework. Â Or maybe I would have done my math homework over a pint at the bar.
Total true neighborhood dive bar. Â You walk in and you get the feeling that everyone in there knows each other ,except you. Â We tried to go in a few weeks ago, but there were 4 people in there, and they looked pretty tight. Â Tonight we went by for a drink on the way home for dinner and there were maybe 15 people in there, and yes they all knew each other. Â The bartenders though were friendly and no one made us feel alienated or anything. Â Since they all knew each other, my BF and I just kept to ourselves, had our beers and talked to each other. Â When we left the bar, two ladies, said bye to us, and told us that we were adorable. Â They were still oohing and aahing about us as we crossed the street to our car. Â All in all, I'd come back, if I was truly set on staying in the West Portal area.......but it wouldn't be my first choice, as I'm not part of the "IN" crowd yet.
Review Source:My favorite time of day to pay Portals Tavern a visit is 1:00 on a Tuesday. Without fail there will be 5-6 Forty to Fifty something men sitting around the U shaped bar, who all know each other, having one of the following conversations.....
"I just got back from Vegas, but I can't tell you about what happened, because, well, you know..."
"Who is this GIRL in our bar?". "I don't know". "Lets buy her a drink".
"So, how are the kids?" "Good, they are _______" (fill int he blank with A. student of the month B. accepted to every Ivy League school in the US C. Straightened up after getting out of the military D. all messed up after that death in the family).
"The Jukebox is broken again?". "No, just the left half....play songs from the right and you will be just fine".
What do these people do for a living??
West Portal used to have a number of bars that would be considered pretty much pure dives, but some of them have recently changed ownership or smartened themselves up. Â Portal's Tavern feels relatively untouched. Â
On prior visits, I found it friendly, but not overly exciting (I usually need a pool table to keep me around). Â But on my most recent visit, the bartender was a young local gal named Annie who was incredibly welcoming and fun, and the crowd was more of a crowd.
They have this nice round bar at the front of the space and some kitschy decor that hasn't been kept up overly well. Â The back part of the bar has some seating, which is kinda nice, but I would prefer a pool table. Â
Any way, I would still have to say, despite the lack of this form of entertainment, I would rank Portal's Tavern the best in West Portal, and I don't mean that in some cheapened comparison. Â It's a downright decent bar.
Oh, the jukebox could use some work.
I will not stop until I've tried every pub, saloon, watering hole, and dive in the 94122, 94116, 94127, 94132, and 94131 zip codes. hey I'm more than halfway there. the Portals was my Friday happy hour for a year when I worked nearby, and we still drop in. clubbish, yes. but pleasant after a couple of smiles and always a good pour.
Review Source:I grew up here. Â Lived down b'round the corner since I was six and to me, it's more than just a neighborhood bar. Â It's part of Christmas and Thanksgiving, it's a place some things have happened I'd rather not remember, I've been over the back wall into the alley, and I love to come back after a long time away. Â I'm a Merchant Marine officer and I make this my Point A and B every time I go out to sea.
I agree with the other post that says this is a neighborhood bar and you might not make friends right away. Â It's a "cop/fireman bar", basically a Sunset district, working class, watering hole. Â Now that TK's and the Barbary Coast are gone, it's just this place and the PC that are left. Â Though the Dubliner does a fair job filling TK's shoes. Â Joxer's is for kids.
If you're from the Sunset or grew up and went to highschool in the City, you'll make friends with the folk in here but you're going to have to approach them.
And say hi to Randy. Â He's my favorite bartender in the US.
Despite the bartender's friendliness, I was very uncomfortable the entire time I was at Portal's Tavern. Â All the patrons were sitting at the bar and there were two seats left, so we felt obligated to sit at the bar rather than being extremely anti-social and sitting at a table. Â There was no music playing and the atmosphere was pretty subdued, so I felt like everyone could hear everything I was saying, leaving me feeling super self conscious for fear of possibly offending a regular. Â Combined with a limited beer selection and $4.50 pints meant we only stayed for one drink.
The thing is, I should have liked this place: Â Its mellow pubby vibe is normally something I dig, but it just didn't click for me here. Â Maybe if there had been a few more people there the atmosphere wouldn't have put me on such an edge.
Also, based on glances from the street, the interior of this bar was mostly indistinguishable from Joxer Dalys and The Philosopher's Club; Â We chose Portal's Tavern entirely based on the Yelp reviews.
Ever get the feeling that every tavern in the city is either packed with twenty-somethings and louder than a Ted Nugent concert, or dead as a door nail and loaded with people that remember the Great Depression? Â So did I, till I found Portals Tavern, the ideal spot for the "middle ground" to meet and socialize.
Lets face it....West Portal isn't a racy neighborhood, and the Portals clientele reflects this. Â Most of them are married, retired, or in some kind of a relationship. Â Bluntly put, this is an ideal place for people who are far from senior citizenship but old enough to have their hormones under control....people who'd like to hang out and socialize with those of a similar mindset while avoiding the ghastly hormone driven mating game that the younger folk engage in incessantly. Â It makes for an easy-going crowd devoid of competitive tension, and with nothing to prove. Â Heated arguments are extremely rare, and bar fights are non-existent.
Pints are a bit pricey at $4.50, but the regulars have a habit of buying-a-round-for-the-bar. The urinals in the mens room are filled with ice, making for a fun "see how much I can melt" game that you get to play every two pints or so. Â Tables in the back area give couples a place to withdraw, and an antiquated tabletop version of "Ms. Pac Man" is (and thankfully so..) the only electronic amusement in the place...
Portals tavern is one of an endangered species....a neighborhood pub in a decent neighborhood that hasn't lost it's soul through a  a tragic re-model or an influx of an invasive culture.  It's worn wood, faded ceiling, and musty-but-clean surroundings almost ooze history from their presence. But despite the presence of visible wear and tear, it resonates a periodic style that denies it's qualification as a "dive".  As far as a singles scene goes, don't hold your breath....But while your odds of meeting someone special on the first night are pretty slim, they get better as you become a regular.  Just chat with some of the happily married couples that hang out there.....you'll find that quite a few of them met on a set of barstools not far from where you're sitting....
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