The Atlantic House

Don't turn up the air-conditioning (if there really is any).  Part the the charm is all those sweaty bodies rubbing together in the heat of the moment!

This is what I wish the gay bars in Boston were like.

Built in 1798, this is the oldest gay bar in the USA.  The left wing of the building is the original construction, but it has since been expanded upon.  It has been an openly gay bar for over 5 decades and has been a discreet gay bar for twice as long.  It looks nothing like what one would expect a gay bar to look like.  It's a large, white colonial-style house that looks like it would be a Revolutionary War museum, not a place where guys go to party on vacation.

It doesn't cater to any particular subgroup of the gay male community and mixes a wide range of age and racial groups together.  Compared to Boston's gay bars, it feels so much more welcoming and people go there to let go, rather than stand around and engage in exclusion and posturing.  Bears, leather men, twinks, muscle guys, and WASPy types such as myself are all to be found.  

The drinks are small, but strong!!   Most of the bartenders there are very nice and friendly, with the exception of one named Sean who has been there for years.  I simply avoid him when I go.

The main dance floor is in the large room in which you arrive in immediately upon entering.  There are 3 bars in this area, so you should have no problem getting a drink here.  On the back patio, there is another huge area for milling around and talking to people, and there are an additional 3 bars back there.  The place is very well-staffed and you never have to wait long to get a drink.  I wish the bars in Connecticut would follow this example.  

As a bonus, the washrooms are découpaged with pics of gay porn stars from ceiling to floor, and the upstairs bar shows porn videos on the big screen TV's all night.  Most bars in America are too cowardly to do something like that.  God forbid porn is shown on TVs where adults are.

I do have a few minor gripes about the place:

1) It gets too hot and crowded.  It's so hot in there in the summer with all the bodies it must be pushing 100 degrees Fahrenheit with tropical humidity.  Turn up the air conditioning.

2) The washrooms have no privacy and the wait for them is ridiculous.  They are basically small closet-sized rooms with 4 urinals about 3 inches apart.  I don't feel comfortable peeing in those conditions so I get my hand stamped and I go outside to pee in nearby alleys (like a true country boy would!)  I don't want to waste 30 minutes in line to pee.  Put up some dividers.

3) It would be more fun if the music were more varied.  I thought the DJ played the same beats over and over for most of the night.

The absolute worst in all of Provincetown!  

Their top shelf vodka includes smirnoff and pinnacle, for a cocktail charge of $9+.  Naturally it is served in plastic, because the constant state of chaos would cause glass to break every 15 seconds.

I've been multiple times, but not for a very long time.  I have always received very rude service and was treated like a waste of their time, even though I was dropping money left and right.

My major grip about this place:

I attended a show that they were hosting here, with a friend of mine and we each paid $15 to gain access.  Even though we were fine with "standing room only" and had every intention to do so, after 6 minutes of being inside the building, we were told that they were over capacity and unfortunately we would have to leave.  The show had not started yet, I had yet to order a cocktail - so I wanted my money back!

As we approached the door-staff that had taken our money only moments before, she didn't seem to remember us.  This is even more unnerving because I have a residence here in town and at most places have a "Towny Pass" that gets me free admission to the bars.. and I've seen this woman dozens of times.

Anyway... we were denied the refund of our cover charge.  They decided to stay on their high horse and arrogantly inform us that "They are the A House and don't need to refund anyone's money".  Well, I definitely don't need to go back.  I was even more frustrated when the door staff then began to snicker and mumble under their breaths about us.

The bathrooms are plastered with porn magazine clippings looking to have derived from the mid 70's and the doors are that which you would find in a western saloon, no privacy whatsoever.

They don't accept credit cards, another hassle to leave the building and pay a fee to use the ATM - we all know why certain business choose to only accept cash.

I avoid the alley this place is located in at all costs.  Far too many bars/clubs in the immediate area to put up with this nonsense.