The Boot

If you're looking for a good night with cheap drinks where you won't remember your night the next morning, this is the place. Full of college kids, I always have a great time here, then again vodka is always involved. I think this could be the vodka talking.

Ok,

I kept eating here and drinking here.

It's the kind of place you just can't avoid.

The Boot is an absolute shithole that I never liked.

Hmm. If it is so bad, why would I rate it three stars? Well, now that you asked, it is because I spent a large portion of my formative years there. The Boot taught me many things, some of which I will share with you, my yelp brethren.

Lessons learned:

1. Chicks dig douchebags - The Boot was always filled with obnoxious college dudes. I was often one of them, but I could never stoop to the level of douchedom that they could. Of course their douchey antics always seemed to attract the attention of the ladies, so I learned that those chicks were douchebags too.

2. Beer should be consumed as quickly as possible - If you're at The Boot, you should be shithammered. Accomplish this by chugging beer. If you do it properly, you can become a douchebag and get chicks.

3. If you bump into someone, don't say you're sorry - Come on, that shit is for pussies.

4. Piss all over the floor - That toilet is just for decoration. If you happen to pee on someone, follow rule 3.

5. Don't tip the bartender - He is your servant and you deserve that beer.

6. Whenever you want to get your point across, yell and bump your chest - See #1

Of course I took these lessons and did the exact opposite and became the well adjusted, non-douchebag that I am today. The Boot played a big part, and for that I am thankful.