The Carousel

2 Stars really, but for LI I'll bump this bad boy up to 3.  Here's a quick rundown:

The Girls: There might be one cute one per shift.  MAX. 4 others will prowl the floor for lap dances. One chick followed my friend to the ATM and took his receipt to see how much was in his account.  Classic.  

The Drinks: Small, expensive, watered down

The Vibe: Creepy at all times.  

The Experience: Awesome.

Go there knowing it's kind of a dump and you will have a great time.  Go there expecting to walk into Scores and you are in trouble brotado.  Enjoi.

There are only two reasons for me to end up at a strip club, other than a breakfast buffet.

1. my sneaky guy friends tell me they're driving me home or to my car then take me there kidnap style

or more likely;

2. my stubborn guy friends decide they're going no matter what I say and I'm not ready for the night to end yet.

So it's Wednesday night, New Years Eve Eve and I realize I need to comply if I want to keep the night going.

Keep in mind that I'm there because I'm a drunk, not because I'm trying to prove how sexually liberated I am, though, so this place is only three stars to me because it's way, way too cramped.  You're literally brushing past people to find a space, standing next to strangers, smooshed against horny men.

Highlights:

The girls here are actually very pretty and they're fun.  It's not like clubs in the city where they care too much about looking hot and sexy, these girls are laughing, making jokes with patrons.  

I have no idea how much drinks cost because I am a woman in a strip club.

Lowlights:

1.  I was there in a turtleneck and jeans.  My friend says "you're getting more attention than the strippers."

Design flaw.  You're way too close to the other guys in the bar.  They still think they have a chance to get you home because you're a girl in a strip club and the space is too tight for you to hide behind your friends, no matter how big they are.  

2.  My friend hands me dollars and insists I give it to the stripper.  I say "what's the most dignified way for me to give this to you?"  She pushes her boobies together. "Do you speak Russian?" I ask (the only thing I know how to say in Russian.)

"I grew up in Smithtown."

I am a stripper racist.

3.  After a barrage of men hitting on me, a voice from behind me says "Didn't I hook up with you?"

I turn around indignantly, about to give the guy a piece of my mind only to find that it's a guy I kissed in a bar a couple of years ago.

Topless entertainment.

As topless places go, this place is definitely better than most.  

Back in the day, when I worked for a small electronics company in the area, I would take a bunch of my engineers out to this place - believe me, this was as close to a girl many of them would ever get- the girls would have as much fun as the geeks...

The girls there are fine, the place is small and the prices, while steep, are not crazy steep.

All in all, so long as you are a normal functioning adult male, you can have a fun time there and get out without having to mortgage the house.

Parking lot around the perimeter.