Ethel's Tavern

I had driven by Ethel's a number of times over several years before I finally decided to check it out. I'm a big fan of dive bars, or that brilliant sub-category of dive, what I lovingly call the "old man bar".

I called in advance to see what sort of things they had on their menu, a simple question, right? Not really. You see, they don't really serve food, but the lady that answered the phone said "they could fix something up" for us. What does that mean exactly?

I'm still not sure. My date and I went anyway - figuring it would be a good laugh regardless. Upon entering this, um, fine establishment, I thought I'd entered a casting call for a remake of "Deliverance". Only thing missing was the bald-headed man-child with the banjo.

Selection of beers? "You want Miller Lite or Bud Light". Um, OK?

As we drank our "beers", my date and I felt rather uncomfortable - she was getting the eye from several derelicts inhabiting the front bar room. Not cool, guys - give it a rest.

I needed to use the facilities and my date decided to walk with me out of concern for her mental health. In retrospect, I probably should have just "checked a lugnut" in the gravel parking lot out front. I'm sure that's the preferred method of relieving oneself at Ethel's anyway.

On our way back to where our "beers" were, we discovered that they have a nice outdoor patio area where they have live music in the warmer months. "Yeah, we gots both kinds of music, country AND western". I suppose out of curiosity I will return to see this place when they have music.

But for just plain drinkin', I'd rather stay home with a warm 12 pack of PBR. It would be cheaper, better, and my date wouldn't feel the need to shower afterward.