The Harrison Avenue Tavern

D.O.S.T.F.H.

Drink or Stay the Fuck Home....

Ok, it is what it is... a freaking sh*t hole, will serve you booze til you are absolutely way over the limit, but man oh man, I have had some good times at ye ole H.A.T.  The reason why this bar has basically *no* reviews?  Well, because I highly doubt most of the clientele cares about the internet whatsoever, and they certainly do not "check in" or "tweet" or what have you... yes, you are right in assuming that the hat is not the classiest joint on the block, and you are also correct to think that most people who *would* review the hat just won't because... uhh, it's the hat, and like, you go there and you tell NO ONE.

Except me.  Because I don't care.

Because for the West Orange parade day, this place was bump-ing.  I mean, packed.  And for the most part, it usually has a good amount of business.... even when special holidays wouldn't lure people out of the woodwork to come and and enjoy a few exceptionally strong drinks... made by bartenders who remember your name, bullshit with you, take shots right along side of you, give you money to punch the bag..

If that doesn't lure you in, let me just tell you....

NJ Devils players go here, too.  That's right.  They punch the bag (and duh, obviously get the highest score) and have a few drinkie poo poos with their lady friends... not going to name names, just know that this is a fact.

Oh, the upstairs is disgusting.  Do not sit on the toilet.  They may or may not have hand soap, or paper towels - usually one or the either, but definitely not both.  Yes, and there is also fake grass the lines the staircase and the entire upstairs.

The outside is exceptionally ridiculous, the simple fact you can smoke cigarettes while you drink is so foreign to anywhere within a 100 mile radius.... just wow.

If you like it, like me, own up to it.  I know you are out there.

The wings are filthy, but delicious.  Erik has a secret recipe for his sauce and it is *divine*... Mondays = wing night.  Thursday = dart night.  Sunday football is packed and fun and insane.  DONE.

Harrison Avenue Tavern loves acronyms. In fact, you may not even know where the hell I'm talking about because this West Orange watering hole is best known by its abbreviation - The H.A.T. Pair this with the multiple beer banners demanding you D.O.S.T.F.H. ("Drink Or Stay The Fuck Home"), well, with this bar, there's more than meets the eye.

From the outside, The H.A.T. looks more like someone's house, and even the locked front door would lead you to believe you shouldn't be here. But walk around to the side and you'll see the party's out back. In the winter months, the outdoor bar is enclosed by a heavy, blue tarp - big-top tent style. And, yes, it's kind of a circus inside.

First off, despite there being zero ventilation, smoking is allowed here. For smokers, this is a delight, bringing it back to pre-2006 New Jersey, where enjoying a beer and a cigarette wasn't something experienced vicariously through television series and motion pictures set or released before the turn of the millennium. For non-smokers, well, the ban certainly exists for a reason. You will come home smelling like an ashtray - that's a given. But, technically, it's the outside patio and, therefore, it's all legal. Even though there are TVs on the wall and a full bar at your service, this is the closest thing I've seen to a smoking loophole, maybe ever.

The indoor bar houses dart boards, a jukebox, and a fake rhino head protruding from the wall like a prized safari kill. Yeah, I didn't ask. But, if the patio wasn't a clear enough indication, the interior here really drives home that dirty, dive bar feel. Still, with beers at $3 and mixed drinks at $4, all in all, The H.A.T. is a pretty good deal - I.A.O . Er..."Inside And Out".

Yeah, about the acronyms - I'll leave that to The H.A.T.