O'Neil's Pub

"You should see his little wiener," said one loud guy to the other three loud friends (and one very quiet guy) in between beers and shots at noon on a Saturday.

"You're lucky you're my friend," said one loud woman to a different loud guy, in reference to her teenage daughter and how much lust she inflamed in the guy, despite the daughter being either 14 or 17, though no one seemed to know for sure.

This was the atmosphere that my wife and I got to enjoy while stopping into O'Neill's for lunch. It's the type of atmosphere I would enjoy more if I was younger, or if were later in the day. Then again, despite the copious sunlight outside, hardly any of it peeked into the bar. O'Neill's one very dark place. There could be plenty more windows, but there are only a few frosted-over one, seven feet off the ground. One corner of the bar was so dark, you would need a flashlight to see what's there.

There hasn't been a review of O'Neill's since 2011, so perhaps things have changed. There's only one pool table now, unless the other one's in the dark corner. The jukebox is now of the digital "we can play anything" variety. The menu tends to favor Mexican food - nachos, mini-tacos, quesadillas, burritos - despite being an "Irish" bar.

O'Neill's can claim Irish heritage from the founder's last name. He has passed, according to Carrie, our friendly server, but his son runs the place. They had Guinness on tap and corned beef on the menu, but no bangers and mash, curry fries, Shepherd's pie and other Irish foods. Could you get Bushmill's there? I suppose. The bar looks well stocked. But the bar itself has one aspect that irks me. It's a long bar with a curve to it and has a step for the feet of patrons. But it's uncomfortable to put your arms on the bar, The green paneling is angled and long, and if you're trying to eat a burger at the bar, you'll make a mess or stretch your neck a lot.

You'll still want to get the burger. It actually smells the way a burger should smell. The generous patty had little frills, no cheese, and wilty lettuce, but it had good mouthfeel and the right amount of grease, according to my wife. But what made it great was that we came in on a Saturday for lunch, so the burger and chips cost all of two dollars. Great deal.

My nachos - yep, I went Mexican - was decent, though the chips were reminiscent of the cheap kind you get at grocery stores and the cheese was probably a powder a short while before it made my plate. Nothing special, but at a decent price.

This place is a dive. The building's a gaudy green with an inexplicable rooftop jutting and the parking stinks. It's the kind of place that's a little embarrassing to look at from afar. I can imagine someone from Glen Ellyn or Wheaton laughing at it, especially if they're snootier than me. And not that they should try to keep up with the Joneses, but come on, this place could use some work. They just choose not to.

Compared to Punky's, the other "Irish" bar in downtown Lombard, I didn't feel as if I could go up and talk to the patrons here. There's a little more courtesy at Punky's. And I'm glad that dives exist, but at noon on a Saturday, at this stage of my life, I'm not down for hearing f-bombs fly through the air in between talk of pedophilia and little wieners.

For a Dupage county dive dump it is not that bad looking of a dive bar. The place is alot bigger inside than I thought after years of driving by and ignoring this place. I finally had guts to check it out. It is nothing special and I likely will not go again unless there is a snowstorm and a football game on TV. Just the typical corporate bottle beer and locals in an aged watering hole.

Close to home and decent prices. Thats about it.