The Outhouse

I dance part-time and have worked at MANY clubs in different states, and this is my opinion

REGARDLESS of what SOME people may think of the Outhouse, you have to appreciate a club that allows smoking, since the world has gone crazy and outlawed smoking in several states, KS being one of them.  I'm sorry, but I feel like I'm at Church every time I go out to a BAR and have to go outside to smoke....like I'm not at the bar already.  Can we say, "totally ruined the bar scene for me?"  GEESH!  Must be a Miami thing that still let's you have a little freedom.  God please don't let them ruin my vacation spot lol!  Wait a minute, if they do, it's still 70 degrees in the winter so no one will freeze to death whenever they want a cigarette.  Goodness!  Just punishing us like it's a joint or somethin!  And BYOB instead of pricey watered down drinks plus a tip for the bartender or waitress!  LOVE IT!  Oh yeah, if there's a song you want played, just ask a dancer to play it for you when she goes on stage, just don't forget to tip because she probably already had a set picked out or someone else may have already requested her to dance to their fave.

And the dancers get to choose however many or few days they want to work.

One star or five stars? This place at one time was a requisite venue for any punk rock band to play. It is now a BYOB strip club.

Through the 80's/90's any and every punk rock act from around the nation would play here.

Bobby Steele getting his face kicked in by a skinhead.

GG Allin threatening to commit suicide on stage at his next appearance and subsequently not even showing up at all.

Urine soaked floor, walls, everything.

A few bands that used to play here (I think Cutler composed this list originally):

2 Car Family, 2 Mile Death Plunge, 7 Seconds, Abuse, Acid Raygun, Action Man, Agnostic Front, Alice Donut, All, Altered Media, Angst, Apostle Death, Aversion, Battery Idiot, Be in Black, Big Chief, Beernuts, Big Toe, Bikini Kill, Biohazard, Blue Meanies, Born Against, Boy Dirt Car, Boys Life, Brick Layer Cake, Broken Inglish, Circle Jerks, Coffin Break, The Cum Puppies, The Crucifucks, Dashboard Budda, Dazzling Killmen, D.O.A, The Descendents, The Detonators, The Digits, D.C. Beggars, Doggy Style, Donnie and the Outhouse All Stars, D.R.I, Drowing Incident, Duh-Ta-Duh-Ta-Duh, EMF, Eubekenia Campaign, The Exploding Rodents, Fear, The Feindz, Flour, Forced Behavior, The Fry Guys, G.B.H, Green Day, Germ Box, The Grenade Victims, The Hayseeds, Hellen Keller's World, Helmet, The Iquanas, Immaculate Reception, Jawbox, The Jesus Lizard, Joe Worker, Judge Nothing, KGB, Kill Dozer, Kill Whitey, King Trash, The Klusterfux, Left Insane, Legion of Doom, Let's Go Bowling, Lonesome Houndogs, The Lovely Dead, The Meat Puppets, The Melvins, Merely Twisted, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Mind Over 4, Molly McGuire, Mooncalf, Mopar Funeral, The Mortal Micronotz, Mu 330, Mudhead, Mutt Finnicky, Murphy's Law, Naked Raygun, Near Death Experience, No Means No, Non Prophet Organization, Nosferatu, Octoclod, The Pedal Jets, Piston Grind, Platonic Bondage, Prong, Psychosis, Rabid Fetus, The Radicts, Ritual Device, Roach Factory, Rollins Band, Rot Gut, Season 2 Risk, Second Chance, The Selecter, The Sex Criminals, Short Notice, Shup Bish, Side Show, Sick of it all, Sin City Disciples, Skankin Pickle, Skeletal Ambitions, Skin Yard, Skog, The Skatenigs, Slackjaw, Slam Suzanne, Sleeze Tax, The Spinebenders, SNFU, The Swinging Dicks, Troubled Youth, Trouser Trout, Type O Negative, U.K. Subs, Ultraman, The Undead, Vae Victus, Vampire Rock, Victims Family, The Wayback Machine, Weirdo's, Which Doctors, White Zombie, Wrecking Crew.

Yeah, I just posted that entire list in case anyone ever wanted to know just how awesome this place was.

First of all, I want to mention that this isn't just a "nightlife" spot--it's a NUDE CLUB, and although it used to be a kickass punk venue, it's now what I would consider "adult entertainment", and I think it needs to be classified as such, so people are not confused and don't go looking for the cool ass place it used to be; i.e. I don't think it's worth the drive for anyone to go way out into the middle of nowhere looking for a punk venue and instead coming across a huge pile of pussy.

As for the place it now is--The Outhouse NUDE incarnation sucks. There is no better way to put it. The place is literally falling apart; the bathrooms don't work, the chairs barely hold a 80lb. girl, and the "VIP" area is nothing but barely covered "couches" held together by duct tape and bodily fluids. At the beginning of the change over, the place was dingy, divey but still good, in the way that divey places can be. Now, the whole place reeks of disrepair and despiration, mainly due to the management and the loads of girls who work there who desparately need that 20 dollar dance to buy their next 8-ball. I don't mean to imply that all dancers are drug addicts--trust me, I'm a dancer too so I don't want to perpetuate any unneccessary stereotypes, but I've also worked at this club and the majority of women who choose to dance here have serious drug problems or are just completely batshit insane.

There are some great girls who dance their asses off and are very talented (Abby comes to mind), but those are definately the minority. On Fridays and Saturdays, there are some better looking women, but for the most part, the girls there are a little on the rough and ragged end of the spectrum. This is the club you go to when you've been fired everywhere else, because (and this came straight from mangement) "we are not allowed to fire anyone". Apparently Jeff, the owner, wants to set up some sort of haven for all the fucked up strippers of KC. I guess he's doing a good job.

As for the crowds: generally, it's a ghost town Sunday-Weds. If you choose to go on one of these nights, be prepared to be accosted as SOON as you get through the door by a whole bunch of desparate girls wanting all your beer. On an average weekday, there are about 20 girls and 2 guys all night. Strangely enough, it gets SUPER busy Friday and Saturday and moderately busy on Thursday, their unoffical "hip hop night". And when I say SUPER busy, I mean standing room only. Come early if you want, but don't fear for lack of girls--they have over 40 working on weekends, even though each girl has to pay upwards to 100 dollars to the club just to be allowed to work on those nights; consequently, the hustle and the push for dances on weekends gets CRAZY. Expect to be hassled NON STOP once you get in. If you like talking to a girl before getting a dance--this place is NOT for you.

Which brings me to my next point: MANAGEMENT SUCKS. The bouncers are all strung out on crystal meth and coke and are unneccesarily rude and obnoxious. On top of this, they do not enforce any rules, so if you go back to VIP expect to be sitting next to someone who's getting head from another girl. It happens all the time. They also, as mentioned above, RIP their girls off and make them pay enormous house fees (stage rental costs) just to work here, which creates a huge drive in all the girls to get DANCES DANCES DANCES. Also, they arbirtarily make some girls pay more than others simply based on how much the owner likes them. It's a complete rip off--on both the girls and the customer's end and the changing work rules daily make it pretty difficult to remain employed here if you are at all intelligent and willing to weigh the benefits with the negatives.

Dances here can be topless and full contact out on the floor for 20 bucks or nude and full contact in VIP for 30 bucks, plus the one time cost of 10 dollars for entrance into the VIP area. There is nothing else for sale: no mixers, no juice, no alcohol, although this is a BYOB joint, so you can bring your own. Cover is 15 dollars per person and girls get in free with the price of a guy. There is a vending machine in the club that SOMETIMES works, that sells cigarettes, candy, and pop. Parking is pleantiful as this place is literally in the middle of fucking nowhere. It's relatively easy to find though--just take 15th street off of Mass for about 5 miles, but watch out for cops after you leave; they like to wait just outside the club and pull people over who are on their way home.

It's open very late--til 4am on weekends, 2am on weekdays. Honestly though, unless you want to get ripped off by some crackhead and yelled at by a methed out bouncer, save your cash and head over to Paradise Saloon instead. Much more mellow, much better run, and the girls there don't have nearly the issues or the coked out look the girls at the Outhouse have. You won't get to see vag, but in the end, aren't some things better left to the imagination?