Seven Seas

Be ready to smell like smoke when you leave. Only go if you don't mind dive bars as this is the definition of one. Service tends to be sub par.

This place feels like you've time warped back to the 90s because it hasn't changed much. It gives you a sort of comfort in knowing that certain places stick to what works in a world where life speeds past us at the blink of an eye. The beer/drinks are cheap and the ambience is cheerful. If you are stranger to the area then have no fear, within minutes someone at the bar will most likely strike up a conversation with you.

During the week you can check out the local karaoke scene that is surely a melting pot of aspiring singers and wannabe video vixens dancing amidst the chaotic melody. Whether you are the next Whitney Houston or a reject from American Idol, everyone is encouraged to sing and is welcome to feel the 3 minutes of fame. People will clap, cheer and even slur words of encouragement your way.

This is definitely a precious hole in the wall that is ideal for a great weekday out with your liver punishing friends. If I go it's for drinks and a good time. I must confess that I have never actually eaten there and am not sure if they even sell food. The music and cheap drinks alone is what makes the place a rare find. Bottoms up!

I'm glad I didn't read the reviews of the Seas before coming here. Either that, or this dive karaoke bar has gotten a wee touch cleaner. I've had traumatic experiences in dive karaoke bars before (search my reviews, keywords 'microphone touched my lips'; I still have flashbacks) and had I known that this place was as dirty as reported, I never would have step foot in it. But, each time I've been, the lights have been down way low, the ceiling hasn't caved in on me, no patch of mold has walked over to engage me in conversation, and I haven't had a Trainspotting moment in the bathroom.

Until and unless these things happen, I will continue to come here on Tuesdays to be a stah, mock those who aren't, make sure the microphone never touches my lips, drink cold beer, and watch out for celeb yelpers getting approached by angry girlfriends because, surely, those giggly boys you keep meeting in the bathroom have not-so-giggly ladies waiting for them in the main room. I ain't sayin'. I'm just sayin'. But, perhaps, such is the power of a place like the Seas. It brings people together. It turns radiant stars into superstars (me). It turns train wrecks into hot messes (most everyone else). It turns heretics into political pundits (in the backroom). It turns runners into smokers (thanks to the backyard courtyard). It turns 'straight' guys into giggling [redacted] who cruise bathrooms. It turns yelpers into dive bar lotharios. It celebrates that "all [you] want for [your] birthday is a big-bootied 'ho." It might be so dirty as to send intrepid reviewers into fainting spells had he'd known about it previously. It might -- just, maybe -- be magic... on Tuesday nights only.